10-VIII-2007 or An Unhappy Call (No Reply)
by Aaron Shurtleff on August 10, 2007
Well, I'm on my way to kickball, when my mother calls me. She never calls me, so I know right away this is going to be bad. Apparently, the night before, my dad was driving down the road, towing the dunk tank (yes, my dad was towing around a county fair style dunk tank..it's a long story..maybe later). He works 12 hour shifts at the local paper mill, so he's pretty tired most of the time, and this night was no exception. Well, he fell asleep at the wheel, and, of course, wasn't wearing his seat belt (he's overweight, and he says it's uncomfortable for him). He hit the guard rail at 55 MPH, lost control of the car, and crashed into the guard rail on the other side of the road. His car is totaled. The dunk tank is beyond repair as well. He walks away with a sore shoulder (lucky for him...very very lucky). And, of course, being my dad, he refuses medical assistance that night, and goes the the hospital on his own the next day. Again, very very lucky that he didn't have some further injury.
If he wasn't so far away, I'd boot him in the ass! Well, I'm all in a weird place, so I'm out and about for the rest of the day. Just letting all that out, and possibly warning people that I am in a weird mood, so take nothing I say or do today as personal or in the wrong way. I'm currently out of my mind, but I should be back on Monday.
MiracleASSassin
Aaron Shurtleff uses this area as a dumping ground for his random thoughts... Read more »
8-VIII-2021 or I know! I was shocked too!!
My favorite trampolinist (Dong Dong...who else would it be?) only got the silver medal this year? Go »17-IV-2008 or Only To Me Can This Happen...
I have the worst funny story to tell, but I'm going to put in some filler first, so that you can't read the beginning from the main page, so if you want to read just that part, skip down a bit. I'll put in some funky asterisks (asteriski?) when the story starts. Go »24-I-2006 or Holy crap! I'm stealing internet!
There's really no appropriate place to say, "Hey! I bought a wireless USB adapter, and I'm borrowing my neighbor's internet access!" But, I am! Go »13-VII-2019 or Inappropriate Humor
Good day. I am still really exhausted from my work trip, so another short one. If I were to say only the punchline of an inappropriate joke, assuming said punchline was not itself inappropriate in this out of context way, would it be the same as if I had said the joke? Go »22-XII-2008 or I am dumb.
Funny story (only it's not)! My wife was running in a 5K race for the inaugural magicjack.com Saint Petersburg Bowl (I love those corporate tie-ins!), Go »
