11-V-2008 or Oh, You Won't Like This...
by Aaron Shurtleff on May 12, 2008
Random filler is entered here, such that you won't see what is to come on the front page. Not that it would be so bad if you did, but I want people who read this to read this purposely, not accidentally because it was on the front page. If you read a posting called "Oh, You Won't Like This...", I want you to know that you made that choice, so that you cannot come back and blame me later.
This might be a good choice for the blog reading at GooCon, I can just feel it!
So, I was at the salon, getting my hair cut (yeah, I went to a salon, what you gonna do about it? I'm secure in my masculinity!), and I had this GREAT idea for a business. Of course, I know nothing about running a business, and putting it here means any one of you could steal it, but I don't care, really. I'm willing to be that guy that bitches and moans, "That was my idea! They stole it from me!" for the rest of my life. Let me lay this on you! And, please, hear me out before you condemn me as a misogynist...oh, hell, I guess I am. I was getting my hair cut...let me jump in here real quick. The full hair treatment involved a scalp and shoulder massage, with hot oil on my scalp. They should let me know that. I hate people touching me, so it was pure torture. Yuck! Anyhow, in the process of cutting, the stylist is trying to talk to me. Did I mention this was a teaching place, and a student cut my hair? Of course I didn't, or I wouldn't be asking, but that's not the point. I just wanted to mention that, and that was the best way to do so!! ;) I felt kind of bad. I think part of the training is probably how best to accomplish the job of cutting hair while engaging the customer, and I failed my stylist miserably. She was talking to the girl next to us, and to her customer, and I had nothing. I felt bad, but I guess difficult customers are also good. I don't know. Did I do a bad thing by not carrying on a in depth conversation? Who knows. Anyhow, during the haircut, the stylist kind of brushes against me a couple of times. Not purposely! I'm not claiming she was trying to hit on me. I have a realistic view of myself, and I'm not saying that I'm a hottie and she couldn't control herself. I don't discount the possibility of course, but... ;) Anyhow, she brushing against me a couple of times. My shoulder and back...her chest. And she wasn't like packing a huge set of boobies and couldn't avoid it, it just happened. Stuff happens. It's cool. ANYWAYS this is when the thought hit me (just to complete the background). A salon for men with topless stylists! Don't jump to conclusions!! I'm talking about an up-and-up business. Nothing super sexy. No motorboating (if you know what I mean!). Just a flat out regular type salon, cutting and styling hair for men, the girls are topless. I think, based on my personal experience as a "guy", that a lot of guys would pay extra money to have their hair cut by attractive topless women. Plus, it would be such an uncomfortable experience for the stylist, that she would be trying to get the cut over with as fast as possible, and conversation would be at a minimum. Nice! The name I had in mind was Salon Bounce. Our slogan: "A Cut Above the Breast". Classy! You all think I'm joking. Well, I'm mostly not. Mostly.
Now, let me be honest with you all. I did think in terms of equal rights for women. I do think that we could and should have a similar establishment for women, with hot topless men. BEEFCAKE! (Let me just say right now that I am fully in realization that there could be a call for women who want topless women cutting their hair, and well as men who want hot studs clipping their locks. I am not trying to discriminate against those who are not heterosexual by any means. I'm just dealing with preliminary issues in my head at the moment!!) However, not being a woman (though I have been called a bit feminine, which is an issue for another day), I don't know if it would really be an attraction to them. Most of the women I know, they aren't really all jazzed up about the beefcake, if you know what I mean. Oh, they appreciate a well put-together man and all. It's just that topless guys aren't going to really bring them in, I don't think. You know. I don't know if it's just a reflection on how (if I recall correctly from a study I heard about) men can be "turned on" by purely visual stimuli, while women need more emotional connections to achieve the same sorts of attraction. Or it could just be that men are pigs. Whatever. Plus, from what I've seen, women like to find one person to be responsible for their hair, and they tend to stick with that person forever. That could also affect the female turnout.
Also, I feel that topless is topless. Period. I support overturning the types of laws that make it fine for guys walk around topless, but make it illegal for women to do so. And, yeah, I know that I am grossed out by public breast-feeding of babies. No, I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. Shut up!
So, anyone who actually made it this far (congrats to you, first of all!), I have some questions for you. Please be honest, and please feel free to use the personal reply if you are not comfortable answering out aloud...so to speak. I swear on my honor that I will not reveal a single word of what you all might say in private to anyone else. Not even in terms of statistics. Anyways:
1) Men: Would you frequent such an establishment (either way...whatever your orientation)? If not, why not. (If you have a reason why beyond the obvious, let me know that, too) Even if you knew it was going to cost you a little extra for your hair cut? Would you tip well for a good job? Would you tip better for more attractive service? (Pig!) Do you, personally, think that such a business would be popular, irrelevant of whether you would personally go to such a place?
2)WomenWould you frequent such an establishment (again, either way)? If not, why not? (If so, why? Other than the obvious!) It'll cost you extra...you OK with that? Would your tip be more based on quality of service or quality of stylist? (Be honest!) Do you, personally, think that such a business would be popular, irrelevant of whether you would personally go to such a place?
Well, that's where my mind is and has been lately. How are you alls? :) See you at Salon Bounce!
Song of the day: "Bras on 45" by Ivor Biggun. This played a lot on Doctor Demento. back in the day. It's a song about a girl with big boobs. Fit the rest of the post, honestly. Plus, it's funny! The song is sometimes called "Bra Size 45", so you might know it as that. *shrug*
I have a new movie review, and two new oddities. Please check them out, if you want.
I have too many concerts going. I'm confused what's where. But, please, continue to challenge me! I'll get to them all eventually. :)
Five Replies to 11-V-2008 or Oh, You Won't Like This...
Amy Austin | May 13, 2008
Pig. I *am* deeply offended.
(Not really, but I actually don't have much to say on it, except that I guess it probably is a good way to capitalize on the pigginess of men. ;-D)
Aaron Shurtleff | May 13, 2008
Well, I know that they have maid services like that around these parts, because I remember hearing about them on the radio one day. I figure, hey, topless maid service, topless hair cuttery. You get a service, and a bonus! I'm not the only one thinking that way!
And I know I'm gross and a pig. It's just the way I am. I'll probably never start such a business, I'm sure. Just thinking out aloud.
Allison Bair | May 14, 2008
I don't know you well enough to know if you're a pig or not, but I would be surprised if topless hair salons don't already exist somewhere.
...and no, I wouldn't go to one. Remember the good naked/bad naked Seinfeld episode? That's what this reminds me of.
Jackie Mason | June 1, 2008
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Denise Sawicki | May 12, 2008
Just so you don't think everybody is deeply offended by your post and not replying, I am replying :).
Well, huge muscular guys do not really do anything for me but if I was lonely and there were guys I'd consider cute working there, sure it would be an incentive :P. I'd be too embarrassed to actually go to such an establishment unless they were fully clothed though.
Reminds me of a Frasier episode, Niles says he hasn't been touched by a woman in so long that he is going to get massages and manicures just to get a woman's touch, then he points out to Frasier that his nails are looking remarkably well groomed as well so he must be lonely too. Anyway I have it on good authority that these things can be an incentive even when the people are fully clothed :P