I take joy in finding out that the ex that f-ed around on me 3 times while we were dating now appears to be divorced from the first guy she married, and is now apparently married to the guy she f-ed around with all three times we were dating. I am happy because a) she obviously really really liked the guy and b) now I know that it really was her, and not me. I beat the sh!t out of myself for so long, trying to figure out what I did wrong to drive her to cheat, and now I see that she had the problem, not me! I actually feel better. Is that messed up??

Anyhow, I'm going to Maine for a week, so if you don't hear from me, that's why.

Not that I am a especially vocal part of the community here lately, but you know what I mean...


Two Replies to 30-VI-2009 or Is it wrong to be happy?

Amy Austin | June 30, 2009
I don't know, Aaron... I mean, *I* don't think it is -- but then I myself am dying here for the same sort of validation about a situation that I am still far from being "over". I regularly beat the shit out of myself, too, for the same reasons you mention... as well as the fact that I cannot wish well (in fact, I even wish ill) for the people who have hurt me so badly. If it truly is messed up, then know that I am just as messed up (maybe much more) right along with you. That may or may not give you any comfort, I know. ;-\

Jackie Mason | July 1, 2009
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MiracleASSassin

Aaron Shurtleff uses this area as a dumping ground for his random thoughts... Read more »

27-X-2006 or There's still a feeling of rejection...

...when someone says she prefers the company of others to your exclusive company. The song of the day is "Popular" by Nada Surf. Go »

9-VIII-2007 or Going to the Kickball!

I am ready to go!! :) I really think we might win one tonight. If not, I'll still get to go to the bar and drink my sorrows away! Go »

22-XII-2006, or Time to set the auto-reply!

Well, it's my last day at work until January 2nd, so if you don't hear from me, that's why. Not that many people really hear from me, but there it is. :) My brother-in-law is in town, so craziness could ensue. Go »

20-IX-2006 or Man, those Samoans sure are a surly bunch.

That was the punchline to a Bloom County comic I read many years ago. It always cracks me up...which makes no sense, really. Go »

29-I-2008 or Clarification

Based on a certain conversation in TC, I just want to say that I am fully and totally aware of the effects of what I have written/will write in this blog could have on me in the future or sooner even. I don't care. I wasn't and I'm really still not ashamed or regretful or a word of it. Go »

23-VIII-2008 or Seen On T-shirt

This is not a great day for writing for me, as the loyal readers may or may not remember. I leave you with this phrase I saw on a t-shirt today: Life is like a jalapeno pepper. What you do today can burn your ass tomorrow. Go »