I take joy in finding out that the ex that f-ed around on me 3 times while we were dating now appears to be divorced from the first guy she married, and is now apparently married to the guy she f-ed around with all three times we were dating. I am happy because a) she obviously really really liked the guy and b) now I know that it really was her, and not me. I beat the sh!t out of myself for so long, trying to figure out what I did wrong to drive her to cheat, and now I see that she had the problem, not me! I actually feel better. Is that messed up??

Anyhow, I'm going to Maine for a week, so if you don't hear from me, that's why.

Not that I am a especially vocal part of the community here lately, but you know what I mean...


Two Replies to 30-VI-2009 or Is it wrong to be happy?

Amy Austin | June 30, 2009
I don't know, Aaron... I mean, *I* don't think it is -- but then I myself am dying here for the same sort of validation about a situation that I am still far from being "over". I regularly beat the shit out of myself, too, for the same reasons you mention... as well as the fact that I cannot wish well (in fact, I even wish ill) for the people who have hurt me so badly. If it truly is messed up, then know that I am just as messed up (maybe much more) right along with you. That may or may not give you any comfort, I know. ;-\

Jackie Mason | July 1, 2009
[hidden by author request]


MiracleASSassin

Aaron Shurtleff uses this area as a dumping ground for his random thoughts... Read more »

14-X-2009 or ...Aaaand I'm Back

Short trip, what? Iceland was pretty cool (as in cold as sin), but I had a great time! Reykjavik is a cool little city, but outside of there...nothing. Go »

8-II-2008 or No way! Not on your life!

Thanks to Lori for giving me something to laugh about today! :) Well, it's Lent again, which means I'm not eating meat today (except seafood, which is still kind of meat, which never really made much sense to me, but, hey, I'm a follower, so I do what I'm told without question...or at least without vocalizing those questions!). Go »

7-IV-2009 or Back In Action

I'm not good at getting in here regularly. It's not that I don't love you all as much as I used to, because I totally do! I just have problems staying focused on stuff lately. Go »

25-IV-2008 or Seedy Underground

Here it is, at great risk to my personal safety. A photo of what goes on in the seedy underground world of adult Kickball. If you are squeamish, you might not want to look at this picture... Go »

7-III-2007 or What You Don't Want to Hear

I understand that hearing about my stupid medical situations is probably annoying to everyone. Too bad. It's where I'm at, so I like to use my blog as a venting point, or at least to try to put down what I'm thinking/feeling. Go »

3-VIII-2007 or Kickball Follies

I think there might be a few pictures of me from the after-kickball party. If so, I'll give a handy link (since I don't know how to post them here...), in case anyone wants to see what drunk people who play kickball look like! Go »