I take joy in finding out that the ex that f-ed around on me 3 times while we were dating now appears to be divorced from the first guy she married, and is now apparently married to the guy she f-ed around with all three times we were dating. I am happy because a) she obviously really really liked the guy and b) now I know that it really was her, and not me. I beat the sh!t out of myself for so long, trying to figure out what I did wrong to drive her to cheat, and now I see that she had the problem, not me! I actually feel better. Is that messed up??

Anyhow, I'm going to Maine for a week, so if you don't hear from me, that's why.

Not that I am a especially vocal part of the community here lately, but you know what I mean...


Two Replies to 30-VI-2009 or Is it wrong to be happy?

Amy Austin | June 30, 2009
I don't know, Aaron... I mean, *I* don't think it is -- but then I myself am dying here for the same sort of validation about a situation that I am still far from being "over". I regularly beat the shit out of myself, too, for the same reasons you mention... as well as the fact that I cannot wish well (in fact, I even wish ill) for the people who have hurt me so badly. If it truly is messed up, then know that I am just as messed up (maybe much more) right along with you. That may or may not give you any comfort, I know. ;-\

Jackie Mason | July 1, 2009
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MiracleASSassin

Aaron Shurtleff uses this area as a dumping ground for his random thoughts... Read more »

Addendum

Yeah, I know. I didn't forget. Go »

22-II-2007 or Speaking of crap...

I wrestled with not saying this, but I've been transparent about everything thus far, so here's the latest medical drama. I getting a colonoscopy tomorrow. That involves a lot of "cleansing" this evening, and a lot of I can't eat anything today and tomorrow. Go »

2-VII-2008 or Quick Hits

1) At the bottom of my Dashboard, it says: You are not currently playing a concert with Amy Austin. Yea. And I ain't gonna! Go »

13-XII-2006, or MMPI has nothing to do with Tom Selleck

WELL. What a fun couple of days! >:( (This emoticon denotes annoyance, disturbing thoughts, anxiety, and the utter lack of noses...and Go »

25-VI-2019 or The Spotted Menace!

... Ok, you got me. Lately, my life has been pretty busy, and I'll tell you all why. Go »

17-I-2007 or Henry Rollins ain't got nothing on me!

So, the results are in, and I'm still walking the streets, so that's good...maybe. I really should have seen this coming, but I did exceptional on the test...sort of. Go »