I take joy in finding out that the ex that f-ed around on me 3 times while we were dating now appears to be divorced from the first guy she married, and is now apparently married to the guy she f-ed around with all three times we were dating. I am happy because a) she obviously really really liked the guy and b) now I know that it really was her, and not me. I beat the sh!t out of myself for so long, trying to figure out what I did wrong to drive her to cheat, and now I see that she had the problem, not me! I actually feel better. Is that messed up??

Anyhow, I'm going to Maine for a week, so if you don't hear from me, that's why.

Not that I am a especially vocal part of the community here lately, but you know what I mean...


Two Replies to 30-VI-2009 or Is it wrong to be happy?

Amy Austin | June 30, 2009
I don't know, Aaron... I mean, *I* don't think it is -- but then I myself am dying here for the same sort of validation about a situation that I am still far from being "over". I regularly beat the shit out of myself, too, for the same reasons you mention... as well as the fact that I cannot wish well (in fact, I even wish ill) for the people who have hurt me so badly. If it truly is messed up, then know that I am just as messed up (maybe much more) right along with you. That may or may not give you any comfort, I know. ;-\

Jackie Mason | July 1, 2009
[hidden by author request]


MiracleASSassin

Aaron Shurtleff uses this area as a dumping ground for his random thoughts... Read more »

14-X-2009 or ...Aaaand I'm Back

Short trip, what? Iceland was pretty cool (as in cold as sin), but I had a great time! Reykjavik is a cool little city, but outside of there...nothing. Go »

22-II-2007 or Speaking of crap...

I wrestled with not saying this, but I've been transparent about everything thus far, so here's the latest medical drama. I getting a colonoscopy tomorrow. That involves a lot of "cleansing" this evening, and a lot of I can't eat anything today and tomorrow. Go »

1-IX-2006 or TT4N!

Well, this will be the last time I blog here until 9/18 or so, when I will be back from vacation. Barring a European internet cafe, or some such nonsense. (How does one get the little accent on the e? Go »

19/20-II-2009 or Guilty Pleasures

Man, I feel like I never really post anything anymore. :( Fortunately (or unfortunately) for you, the wife is out of town (as usual), so I'm going to try to post something. Not that I really have anything to say.. Go »

25-IV-2008(ii) or A Look Inside My Head

I've been obsessing about something I said, and I want to blog about it. Here is what I am now thinking, along with added special what's going on inside my head commentary! All italics are internal monologues/voices in my head, and regular text is the other side of my thinking process. Go »

29-VIII-2006 or Most-wanted polygamist?!

I just saw on CNN that we caught the polygamist who was on the FBI's most wanted list. Hmm... I should read the article to see what he did exactly. Go »