I take joy in finding out that the ex that f-ed around on me 3 times while we were dating now appears to be divorced from the first guy she married, and is now apparently married to the guy she f-ed around with all three times we were dating. I am happy because a) she obviously really really liked the guy and b) now I know that it really was her, and not me. I beat the sh!t out of myself for so long, trying to figure out what I did wrong to drive her to cheat, and now I see that she had the problem, not me! I actually feel better. Is that messed up??

Anyhow, I'm going to Maine for a week, so if you don't hear from me, that's why.

Not that I am a especially vocal part of the community here lately, but you know what I mean...


Two Replies to 30-VI-2009 or Is it wrong to be happy?

Amy Austin | June 30, 2009
I don't know, Aaron... I mean, *I* don't think it is -- but then I myself am dying here for the same sort of validation about a situation that I am still far from being "over". I regularly beat the shit out of myself, too, for the same reasons you mention... as well as the fact that I cannot wish well (in fact, I even wish ill) for the people who have hurt me so badly. If it truly is messed up, then know that I am just as messed up (maybe much more) right along with you. That may or may not give you any comfort, I know. ;-\

Jackie Mason | July 1, 2009
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MiracleASSassin

Aaron Shurtleff uses this area as a dumping ground for his random thoughts... Read more »

13-XII-2006, or MMPI has nothing to do with Tom Selleck

WELL. What a fun couple of days! >:( (This emoticon denotes annoyance, disturbing thoughts, anxiety, and the utter lack of noses...and Go »

29-I-2008 or Clarification

Based on a certain conversation in TC, I just want to say that I am fully and totally aware of the effects of what I have written/will write in this blog could have on me in the future or sooner even. I don't care. I wasn't and I'm really still not ashamed or regretful or a word of it. Go »

24&25-III-2008 or It's probably too late to post...

but when has that stopped me? GooCon sounds awesome! I hope a lot of people come! Go »

23-VIII-2008 or Seen On T-shirt

This is not a great day for writing for me, as the loyal readers may or may not remember. I leave you with this phrase I saw on a t-shirt today: Life is like a jalapeno pepper. What you do today can burn your ass tomorrow. Go »

4-VI-2008 or I want to write, but I must sleep

As the title states. Tired. Confused. Go »

Bonus post: Things I Think I Think

I was replying to Scott's post in Decidedly Undecided, and I started thinking it's nice to be posting again. Even if people were to find my opinions funny or misguided or flat out wrong, if the thought is out there, people can see it, and if I have an error in my thinking, maybe they can help me see things in a different light. I like that. Go »