I take joy in finding out that the ex that f-ed around on me 3 times while we were dating now appears to be divorced from the first guy she married, and is now apparently married to the guy she f-ed around with all three times we were dating. I am happy because a) she obviously really really liked the guy and b) now I know that it really was her, and not me. I beat the sh!t out of myself for so long, trying to figure out what I did wrong to drive her to cheat, and now I see that she had the problem, not me! I actually feel better. Is that messed up??

Anyhow, I'm going to Maine for a week, so if you don't hear from me, that's why.

Not that I am a especially vocal part of the community here lately, but you know what I mean...


Two Replies to 30-VI-2009 or Is it wrong to be happy?

Amy Austin | June 30, 2009
I don't know, Aaron... I mean, *I* don't think it is -- but then I myself am dying here for the same sort of validation about a situation that I am still far from being "over". I regularly beat the shit out of myself, too, for the same reasons you mention... as well as the fact that I cannot wish well (in fact, I even wish ill) for the people who have hurt me so badly. If it truly is messed up, then know that I am just as messed up (maybe much more) right along with you. That may or may not give you any comfort, I know. ;-\

Jackie Mason | July 1, 2009
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MiracleASSassin

Aaron Shurtleff uses this area as a dumping ground for his random thoughts... Read more »

2-VII-2008 or Quick Hits

1) At the bottom of my Dashboard, it says: You are not currently playing a concert with Amy Austin. Yea. And I ain't gonna! Go »

21-IV-2008 or Tee Hee

I had to do it! When you find it, you'll know. :) Me, a narcissist? Go »

Writers Block

... I have a lot to say, but I can't say it coherently right now. Sorry. Go »

29-III-2007 or But you can't stop this, ya narcissist! :P

I found the chink in your logic! Seriously, there will be a full post tomorrow, probably. I just wanted to give a shout-out to the other loony around here! Go »

24-X-2008 or GOO Con, Here I Am/Be!

Well, if all goes well, I am reading this post aloud at GOOCon. I tried to find one that I should read (and I even tried to get folks to suggest a post), but I got nothing. (Thanks guys and gals!) Go »

27-X-2006 or There's still a feeling of rejection...

...when someone says she prefers the company of others to your exclusive company. The song of the day is "Popular" by Nada Surf. Go »