If you're lazy like me, there's not a right time to put away the clean dishes. Who cares if you use them one-by-one out of the dishwasher? But there *is* a right time to discover that they're still dirty, and that's long before you're putting away the last couple of items after eating out of the dishwasher for days.

At least now I know why I spent the weekend going to and from the bathroom.


Five Replies to Bad Housekeeping

Jackie Mason | September 18, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Scott Hardie | September 18, 2007
I feel the same way. I'm lazy about cleaning up, so having friends over every weekend is one way that I force myself to keep the apartment clean. This dishwasher thing was a freak accident, and the realization that I'd been eating off of dirty dishes was a revolting "oh god... oh god..." moment, like waking up from a drunken one night stand and realizing it's your grandmother.

Amy Austin | September 18, 2007
Ewwww... that makes my face scrunch up involuntarily -- *both* of those thoughts.

Lori Lancaster | September 18, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Jackie Mason | September 19, 2007
[hidden by author request]


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Ten Best of 2006

The feature is done. It was frustrating not being able to see more movies this year, and the brevity of the feature reflects that. Comments about the list, or mentions of your own favorite films last year, are welcome in the replies to this post. Go »

Love, Scott

Today is my mother Joan's 70th birthday. I wish her all the happiness in the world, but the occasion brings me feelings of guilt, for I have nothing to give her. Partly that because of bad timing, since she's on a cruise with her boyfriend Andy at the moment. Go »

I Have Boring Dreams

Real men don't play tennis, and they don't play chess. They play tennis on a giant virtual chessboard where every step of their feet and bounce of the ball instructs the computer where to move the next piece. And they call it chennis. Go »

Members of an Elite Squad

When I started watching Law & Order: Special Victims Unit a year ago (!!), I predicted that I would never write about its good episodes because it was a mediocre series. Along the way, it turned out to have plenty of mediocre hours and some lousy ones, but it had a lot more good or even great hours than I expected. Go »

Scott's Car is Dead; Long Live Scott's Car

Is it a reflection of our road-rage culture that a company named Dodge manufactures cars with violent names like Ram, Magnum, Caliber, and Viper? I pondered this at the dealership yesterday during the eternal wait between brief flurries of document-signing so I could buy my first car. It took some doing to get the sunroof and other features I wanted, but I'm now the happy (and relieved) owner of a 2007 Dodge Caliber SXT. Go »

Fur and Feathers

Yesterday was a good day: To celebrate my mother's 75th birthday, we took her out for a day around Sarasota doing things that appealed to her love of animals. After starting with a big breakfast, we went to a local attraction that we've all been meaning to see for years, the Big Cat Habitat that takes care of exotic animals that were born in captivity but abandoned by their owners. The lions and tigers and liger were the prime attraction, but they also had bears, monkeys, a chimpanzee, parrots, emu, turkeys, goats, koi, and even stranger animals like a kangaroo, kinkajou, and coati. Go »