I've decided that from now on, I'm going to answer every question like a presidential candidate.

Friend (voter): "Steve, what are you gonna do this weekend?"

Me (blahblahblah): "That's a great question and an important one. And I WILL do something this weekend. But let me take a step back and answer a broader question. What are we ALL doing this weekend? As a nation? As a world? This weekend I will do something comprehensive and robust, yet fun. We all should."

Friend (frustrated voter): "But, what are you gonna do?"

Me (blahblahblahblahblah): "What I'm going to do involves three things: First, it's going to be relaxing; Second, it's going to be enjoyable; Lastly, I'm going to make sure that it's cost-effective so I don't get into a deficit. Four weeks ago, I said I was going to do something - and I did. This weekend will be no different!"

On second thought, talking like this made me want to punch myself in the face. So, never mind.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Vacation Week II

Took the girls to a petting zoo where they could not only look at the animals but interact as well. Saw some things of interest to me; an albino peacock (well, I don't know if it was albino but it was all white); petted a llama (their hair is kinda rough); the world's fattest rabbit (big as a poodle!); pigs, cows, horses, donkeys, turkeys & chickens & roosters (oh, my); a beautiful garden of vegetables and flowers; and lots of ducks and geese. Go »

Love Letter and Goodbye

I had a very strange thing happen to me this morning. Overnight, I had a dream that featured my ex-wife, Betsy. I told Brenda about it and wondered what the image of Betsy represented in my subconscious that made me wake with such a clear image of her. Go »

Real Life Comedy/Tragedy

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: Why did you marry me? Brenda: Because you're funny, Me: I thought it was because I was good in bed. Brenda: You see? Go »

Goo Con III

What a fantastic time! Matt is truly one of the most gregarious, fun-loving and genuine people I know. Denise and Kelly were completely charming (of course!). Go »

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

At 11:00 a.m., Brenda called me from the school where she works and told me that she had fallen and was unable to drive home. She needed me to 1) find a second driver for her car, 2) come get her and take her to urgent care and 3) make sure that Olivia is taken care of when she arrives home in an hour. Go »

The Bus Stops Here

In Slapshot, Paul Newman encourages the minor league hockey team he captains to play like goons. The team begins to have some success and the driver of the team bus joins in the spirit of gooniness. Paul Newman approaches him while he is proceeding to smack the exterior of the bus with a sledge hammer and inquires as to what he is doing. Go »