I've decided that from now on, I'm going to answer every question like a presidential candidate.

Friend (voter): "Steve, what are you gonna do this weekend?"

Me (blahblahblah): "That's a great question and an important one. And I WILL do something this weekend. But let me take a step back and answer a broader question. What are we ALL doing this weekend? As a nation? As a world? This weekend I will do something comprehensive and robust, yet fun. We all should."

Friend (frustrated voter): "But, what are you gonna do?"

Me (blahblahblahblahblah): "What I'm going to do involves three things: First, it's going to be relaxing; Second, it's going to be enjoyable; Lastly, I'm going to make sure that it's cost-effective so I don't get into a deficit. Four weeks ago, I said I was going to do something - and I did. This weekend will be no different!"

On second thought, talking like this made me want to punch myself in the face. So, never mind.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Halloween Post #7: Scary Movies

Movie moments are still stuck in my head from films I saw 30 years ago, moments that scared the crap out of me then and still run chills down my spine today. This web page has collected 100 of these scary film moments and tried to supply a Youtube clip for each one (not successful) and some interesting commentary. This site might hold you until Halloween. Go »

Have I Mentioned How Much I Love My Wife?

I got a surprise visit from Amy Austin today. She was passing through Maryland on her way to Florida and took the time to call me from the road. I was thrilled that she thought of me being in the area and invited her to visit for what could only be a brief visit. Go »

Insanity is Relative

Recent conversation with Brenda. Me: You know those signs that say 'Keep Off the Grass'? Brenda: Of course. Go »

Sometimes Comedy = Pain

Once upon a time, the entire clip of this sketch was available on-line. It's been removed from YouTube but I found it here in a shortened version. It's too bad because the full explanation of what they're doing and why they're doing it makes it that much more enjoyable. Go »

Halloween Post #8: Geek-O'Lanterns

Happy Halloween! Celebrate this absurdly lovable holiday with a time-consuming habit of making a jack-o-lantern. Despite the inherent silliness of carving a gourd as an act of celebration, these pumpkins are very impressive. Go »

I Am A Marketing Genius

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I’m thinking of buying that 5-hour energy stuff. Brenda: Think it’ll be worth it? me: Depends on what it costs – that whole dollars to extra push-ups ratio. Go »