Double Talk with a Forked Tongue
by Steve West on January 17, 2022
I've decided that from now on, I'm going to answer every question like a presidential candidate.
Friend (voter): "Steve, what are you gonna do this weekend?"
Me (blahblahblah): "That's a great question and an important one. And I WILL do something this weekend. But let me take a step back and answer a broader question. What are we ALL doing this weekend? As a nation? As a world? This weekend I will do something comprehensive and robust, yet fun. We all should."
Friend (frustrated voter): "But, what are you gonna do?"
Me (blahblahblahblahblah): "What I'm going to do involves three things: First, it's going to be relaxing; Second, it's going to be enjoyable; Lastly, I'm going to make sure that it's cost-effective so I don't get into a deficit. Four weeks ago, I said I was going to do something - and I did. This weekend will be no different!"
On second thought, talking like this made me want to punch myself in the face. So, never mind.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
There Really Are Superheroes
And most of them wear capes. Oddee does a nice roundup of ten real-life superheroes - people who actually dress up in costume and prowl their respective cities with a willingness to foil criminals and their crimes. While you may question their sartorial wisdom, you gotta admire their desire to make a difference. Go »Scott And The Genie
Scott Hardie was walking along the beach one day and discovered an old oil lamp. While rubbing the lamp a genie popped out. The genie said in a loud voice, "I am the genie of the lamp. Go »Cool Kleenex Dispensers
My daughter brings crafts home from school. I'm sending her teacher a picture of this Easter Island-ish tissue dispenser for their next craft project. Hey, they can learn about Easter Island and the Moai statues. Go »Al Jolsen Meets The Handmaid's Tale
Brenda went to a local clothing store which I refuse to name so as not to give them any free advertising. I'm a little pissed at them right now. She bought Lauren some new clothes for school including a new pair of jeans for $15.00. Go »Placing Lust's Arrow In Cupid's Quiver
It's refreshing to reflect that the human race survived the sexually repressive Victorian Era. That women actually overcame their culturally reinforced suppression of sexual urges and ultimately spread their legs for something other than yeast related trail-blazing. Let's relive those glory days with the Victorian Sex Cry Generator and see where Fern Michaels gets her inspiration. Go »
