I've decided that from now on, I'm going to answer every question like a presidential candidate.

Friend (voter): "Steve, what are you gonna do this weekend?"

Me (blahblahblah): "That's a great question and an important one. And I WILL do something this weekend. But let me take a step back and answer a broader question. What are we ALL doing this weekend? As a nation? As a world? This weekend I will do something comprehensive and robust, yet fun. We all should."

Friend (frustrated voter): "But, what are you gonna do?"

Me (blahblahblahblahblah): "What I'm going to do involves three things: First, it's going to be relaxing; Second, it's going to be enjoyable; Lastly, I'm going to make sure that it's cost-effective so I don't get into a deficit. Four weeks ago, I said I was going to do something - and I did. This weekend will be no different!"

On second thought, talking like this made me want to punch myself in the face. So, never mind.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

The Bus Stops Here

In Slapshot, Paul Newman encourages the minor league hockey team he captains to play like goons. The team begins to have some success and the driver of the team bus joins in the spirit of gooniness. Paul Newman approaches him while he is proceeding to smack the exterior of the bus with a sledge hammer and inquires as to what he is doing. Go »

Christmas Post #10: SNL Parody Inspires Product

I don't know if the SNL commercial parody for a product called "Ass Don't Smell" inspired the inventors of this product but the connection in my mind cracks me up. Meeting all of your body odor needs. I couldn't find the original sketch but here's a parody of the parody, I think. Go »

Shaken And Stirred Too For Good Measure

Semi-bizarre gallery devoted to people shaking their faces, having any loose skin flop around, and photographing the results. Go »

Cartoon Nostalgia

Anybody else remember The Mighty Heroes? How about The Wacky Races or Hong Kong Phooey? Alright, how about Super Chicken or Go Go Gophers? Go »

The Reunion

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?” I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma which bore his full name. Go »

Respen-A Or Not Respen-A?

We got a prescription for the aforementioned drug and have been administering it to Olivia for one month now. The results are pretty mixed. There have been no side effects apart from some minor appetite issues but also not a whole lot of observable benefits. Go »