I've decided that from now on, I'm going to answer every question like a presidential candidate.

Friend (voter): "Steve, what are you gonna do this weekend?"

Me (blahblahblah): "That's a great question and an important one. And I WILL do something this weekend. But let me take a step back and answer a broader question. What are we ALL doing this weekend? As a nation? As a world? This weekend I will do something comprehensive and robust, yet fun. We all should."

Friend (frustrated voter): "But, what are you gonna do?"

Me (blahblahblahblahblah): "What I'm going to do involves three things: First, it's going to be relaxing; Second, it's going to be enjoyable; Lastly, I'm going to make sure that it's cost-effective so I don't get into a deficit. Four weeks ago, I said I was going to do something - and I did. This weekend will be no different!"

On second thought, talking like this made me want to punch myself in the face. So, never mind.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Good Morning, Let's See Who's Dead

A website devoted to tracking who's alive and who's not. Most entries are for the recently passed but also some entries to silence rumors. Also, a neat feature to read obituaries and find photographs of actual grave locations. Go »

I Must Really Be Sick

Recent conversation with Brenda while recuperating in hospital: Me: Hey, wanna hear a joke I made up? I'm gonna tell my RN the next visit she makes. Brenda: Of course. Go »

Mean Husband... or Funny Guy?

Since Brenda is home and doing well, I will share yet another reason I will spend ETERNITY IN HELL. At the hospital, after her surgery and recovery, she began to wake up in the room. She was covered in a blanket up to her neck, and as her eyes barely fluttered open and she saw me standing over her caressing her cheek, I said, "Baby, something went wrong and they had to remove your whole body. Go »

GooCon: Siesta Key

What can I say? It was the best time ever! Future GooCons now have a standard that will be difficult to surpass. Go »

Schadenfreude

Is it wrong to laugh at goofy-looking mugshots? Probably on some level. I mean, the circumstances that led to these photographs being taken had to be well, criminal. Go »

It's That Time Of Year

Snow time. I don't live in Fargo so I defer to Denise and others for even more horrible snow stories. But the forecast yesterday was for anywhere between 6 and 32 inches of snow depending on a whole bunch of meteorological variables and other mysteries. Go »