I'm starting to shift my thinking on who's the problem in my relationship with UOAS. Even the most passably inane thing she says requires a sarcastic comment from me. It seems to have become a moral imperative in my mind.

UOAS: Wow look at all those Boston Market dinners. I live on these things.
Me: Really? I take the meatloaf one and make little meat sculptures. It's a really fantastic medium.
UOAS: (quizzical look)
Me: Maybe I'll eat one someday.

UOAS: You sure buy a lot of English muffins.
Me: I'm convinced that inside one of those tasty muffins awaits a toasted portrait of the Virgin Mary. I hear Golden Palace Casino will give me a cool million for that. (I buy muffins for consumption only. Never have I looked for hidden images)
UOAS: Really?
Me: Yeah. And if it includes Baby Jesus it goes up to a million five.
UOAS: I think I heard about that.
Me: Yeah, they were this close to paying me a hundred grand for St. Francis of Assisi but the deal fell through. They were only willing to give me 200 bucks for Bartholomew, though. I was holding out for more when it got moldy and they backed out.

UOAS: Flintstones vitamins, huh? Is there a Pebbles in there?
Me: I hear that every third bottle has a pornographic Great Gazoo flashing the other vitamins. Some disgruntled manufacturer had a weird sense of humor.

UOAS: (referring to the groceries being almost all checked out) There it goes a little at a time.
Me: I'm assuming you're talking about my money. (knowing full well what she's referring to)

Brenda is convinced that UOAS has a blog site of her own in which she talks about her weekly ordeal of having to deal with difficult customers. And then 'Gruesome And Smelly' said... I'm thinking I deserve it.


One Reply to Got Those Grocery Shop On Saturday Blues

Amy Austin | January 17, 2010
LOLLLLLL... and so you would. ;-)


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Differences That Make All The Difference

Recent discussion with Brenda: me: There's such a huge difference between how I interact with people at work and how I interact with the people in my home. Brenda: How so? me: At work, I spend all day talking about banking practices and domestic and international finance. Go »

Christmas Post #21: Christmas Songs

Spinner.com submitted their list of the 12 best Christmas songs. Songs, not carols. Go »

Yes, It's Hot Enough For Me

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: The weather's been getting a lot warmer lately. me: I believe I noticed. Brenda: I'm worried that our air conditioner is too old and won't be good enough this summer. Go »

The Anniversary Gift

My 10th anniversary of marriage to my lovely child-bride, Brenda will be on November 7th. I read the following story on Amyoops.com but it was not credited. Go »

Durante Made A Living With That Nose

I really wish it were talent alone that made actors succeed in Hollywood. But (big shocker) looks and "who knows whom" still co-reigns with ability. Some individuals succeed without perfect looks and even with somewhat flawed looks. Go »

Carnivores R Us

Someone in my neighborhood added his own sign to a nearby STOP sign which implored people to become vegetarian by adding "eating animals". Rather than tear off his sign, I added my own which read "without steak sauce". Go »