Got Those Grocery Shop On Saturday Blues
by Steve West on January 16, 2010
I'm starting to shift my thinking on who's the problem in my relationship with UOAS. Even the most passably inane thing she says requires a sarcastic comment from me. It seems to have become a moral imperative in my mind.
UOAS: Wow look at all those Boston Market dinners. I live on these things.
Me: Really? I take the meatloaf one and make little meat sculptures. It's a really fantastic medium.
UOAS: (quizzical look)
Me: Maybe I'll eat one someday.
UOAS: You sure buy a lot of English muffins.
Me: I'm convinced that inside one of those tasty muffins awaits a toasted portrait of the Virgin Mary. I hear Golden Palace Casino will give me a cool million for that. (I buy muffins for consumption only. Never have I looked for hidden images)
UOAS: Really?
Me: Yeah. And if it includes Baby Jesus it goes up to a million five.
UOAS: I think I heard about that.
Me: Yeah, they were this close to paying me a hundred grand for St. Francis of Assisi but the deal fell through. They were only willing to give me 200 bucks for Bartholomew, though. I was holding out for more when it got moldy and they backed out.
UOAS: Flintstones vitamins, huh? Is there a Pebbles in there?
Me: I hear that every third bottle has a pornographic Great Gazoo flashing the other vitamins. Some disgruntled manufacturer had a weird sense of humor.
UOAS: (referring to the groceries being almost all checked out) There it goes a little at a time.
Me: I'm assuming you're talking about my money. (knowing full well what she's referring to)
Brenda is convinced that UOAS has a blog site of her own in which she talks about her weekly ordeal of having to deal with difficult customers. And then 'Gruesome And Smelly' said... I'm thinking I deserve it.
One Reply to Got Those Grocery Shop On Saturday Blues
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Christmas Post # 18: It's The Force, Not An Empty Box
My brother is a collector of sorts. He has various bits of Civil War memorabilia, Washington Redskins gear, and science fiction flotsam from Star Trek and Star Wars. If these toys actually existed, he'd be one of the first in line. Go »Odds & Ends
Yesterday, Lauren and I went to Toby's Dinner Theatre for her birthday and saw Happy Days, the musical. I was never a big fan of the series but had seen enough of it to get the inside jokes and references to the old sitcom. A few of the groaners included not seeing Chuck for a few years now, the Fonz not being the same since he jumped the shark and Richie commenting on his usual ability to solve problems in just one-half hour. Go »Special Olympics
Today, Brenda and I had our annual meeting for Olivia's Individual Education Plan (IEP). The whole team meets which is comprised by at least 6 various educators and the parents. Some teachers just pop in for just a few minutes. Go »My Child Bride
I've mentioned my wife, Brenda in numerous posts. Thought it was about time to introduce (at least her picture) her to my on-line friends. This is also the only picture to which she consented. Go »Homer Sings
Do-Re-Mi as sung by Homer Simpson DOh - The stuff that buys me beer. RAY - The guy that sells me beer. ME - The guy who drinks the beer. Go »
Amy Austin | January 17, 2010
LOLLLLLL... and so you would. ;-)