I love waking up early
by Denise Sawicki on February 18, 2008
I got up before 5, took a shower, did a bunch of my fun and addictive getting-free-stuff-on-the-internet activities, had breakfast, and went and found some treasures in Kameo, all before heading out to work at 7:50. That was awesome. We always go to bed before 10 anyway so what's the point hanging around in bed in the morning when I'm not tired. Anyway I must be on my "manic" phase and will probably lash out in anger and descend into depression before too long. You guys do not witness these sides of me because if I'm depressed, I have nothing to say to anyone. Who knows if I may go postal on this site sometime though. I was toying with it in my last post. I just get really mad at life sometimes.
Speaking of Kameo, Darrell is impressed with me for having some measure of success at an actual action game. I'm able to enjoy it mainly because it is so cute and colorful. I don't have too much interest in all those dark and gloomy looking video games. I defeated this big jellyfish boss last night, which has to be the biggest video game success I ever had. Never mind I had a health-regenerating thingy equipped that Darrell hadn't found when he played the game. I'm actually quite pathetic and am always flailing about punching empty space and getting beaten down by my enemies but with my health regenerating it is all quite easy and painless. Just tedious, but I like tedium. :P Well that is *after* Darrell had to explain to me how to swim using my controller, I couldn't seem to figure it out on my own. :P
This post is for Steve who is wondering what is up in my charming life!!! hehe
EDIT: I know I don't have manic highs, that's why the quotation marks. I do have rapid cycling moods though and feel more energetic and talkative at times. I mention because I know it's irritating when I appear to throw about bogus diagnoses of myself.
Eight Replies to I love waking up early
Amy Austin | February 18, 2008
"Health-regenerating thingy", huh... sure the hell sounds like something I could sorely use right now.
Denise, the only thing worse than being "manic" or "depressed" is being manically depressed... believe me. And if you "go postal" here, it will just save me the trouble... on this site or on myself, so... I say go for it! ;-)
Denise Sawicki | February 18, 2008
Your picture's gone! I thought you were someone else.
I have posted things that are a bit on the angry side (not directed at anyone here, but at life in general or people from the past) but I don't let these posts sit for long without deleting them.
Best of wishes in whatever you may be going through, Amy... good health!
Amy Austin | February 18, 2008
Yeah, I deleted it and made another request of Scott, if that tells you anything... don't know when I'll put up another picture, but right now, I don't really feel like I exist.
I understand about the manic in quotes, too... it's called hypomania. But when you're manic (or hypomanic, as the case may be) and depressed at the same time, it's sheer torture... and rapid cycling is the catch-22 effect.
Thank you for the wishes... I can use all that anyone has to give... especially if the donor happens to be jinn. ;-)
Denise Sawicki | February 18, 2008
That sounds like a sucky mood to be in, to be sure. As for the "other request" I can guess and it can't be good...
Do you have an official diagnosis, then? I don't, but bipolar II seems fairly close for me. I don't like to pry so feel free to ignore, of course! I think you're cool and wouldn't care one way or the other, for the record :P Heheh, I can also delete any portion of this discussion if you wish, if I've already coaxed you to say too much.
Amy Austin | February 18, 2008
It's all right... I feel a wee bit safer in the blog section. Having suspected it for many years, I was initially diagnosed bipolar when I sought individual and marital counseling two years ago. Last year, when I resumed individual counseling up here with different doctors, the diagnosis became more specifically bpII... and so I can relate very well to the things you describe and would concur with your feeling about it. We can always discuss it more offline, too, if you wish. ;-)
Scott Hardie | February 19, 2008
I'm glad you're enjoying Kameo, and everything else too of course. I had trouble with the controls in that game. I'm sure if I had kids they would school me in it.
Denise Sawicki | February 19, 2008
Sure thing, my e-mail is pangolin22@yahoo.com if you wish to talk. That would be cool :)
Glad I'm not the only one who had troubles with the controls, Scott!
Prayer for the Paranoid
Denise Sawicki posts whatever she feels able to post without serious consequences Read more »
Found things, jerkishness, fuzziness
This morning I found my black pants that have been gone for nigh on a year. They weren't even anywhere weird. They were just on the floor in the closet. Go »My stupid brain
It seems I have quite a lot of former friends who wound up really, really, disliking me. So I am always alert to signs of that happening again. It's nobody's fault but my own, I assure you. Go »People charging me money for nothing...
I guess the saga of me and numberonemusic.com is not over yet. They went and charged my credit card for another $59.95 Go »False Hope
So the guys' band had a show on Saturday and it went really well. A bunch of people came up to say they did a good job, and the headlining band (another local act) really liked the music and wants to do other shows together. And they even got paid! Go »Narcissist
Oh lord, new worry, what if I'm a narcissist. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_Personality_Disorder "NPD is considered to result from a person’s belief that he or she is flawed in a way that makes the person fundamentally unacceptable to others [8]. Go »
Steve West | February 18, 2008
Haha! Many thanks. Wouldn't have had a clue what Kameo is if you hadn't mentioned it. And Tedium = Steve, so I can relate. Thanks again for the update. Keep it comin'!