It's The Plumber!
by Steve West on September 17, 2011

The punchline to the old talking parrot joke recently leaped into my mind. Lauren dropped a lipstick tube down her bathroom sink because it has nothing to cover the drain hole. That thing that goes up and down to close the sink drain isn't part of this particular sink. I got a wrench to unscrew the trap and just a small amount of pressure broke the corroded pipe just after the trap. Broke it good. While I would like to think it was my Schwarzenegger-like strength that caused steel to break in half, it's just the fifty year old pipes failing. Fifty years just doesn't seem that old to me but what else could it be? It's not like we have extra hydrochloric acid in our water in Bowie.
I called the plumber and it's one of those $150 just to pull into your driveway kind of things. I have to supply the new faucet so it has the drain hole cover but he'll install it. I'm going to Lowe's now because I need a lawnmower. Grass-zilla is taking over my backyard in the two weeks I've owned this place but I never needed a lawnmower till now - a weed whacker sufficed on the quilt sized lawn I had before. A new electric mower should whack his radiated ass back to the stone age.
Home ownership costs money to maintain, I know. I'm not surprised by this. But there was so much repairing I already knew going into this sale so I wasn't counting on a new repair to pop up only two weeks after moving in. I'm putting my toolbox in the attic before I "fix" something else.
One Reply to It's The Plumber!
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Is This A Country Song Or What?
Playing a country song backwards, as the old joke goes, and your wife comes back, your dog is alive again, and your trucks rolls over onto its wheels. The Mickster has got it bad in Oscar week as his beloved chihuahua died in his arms. Not to make fun of what must have been a horrible event, but did he really need to display his mourning by attending a New York fashion show the very next day? Go »
Christmas Post #7: Coloring Crime
This website has some hilarious sections (most times intentionally, I think) offering many odd items for sale. My favorite is the Law & Order coloring book. Check out that connect the dots page - I wonder who that could be? Go »
The Texas Chili Cook-Off
Recently, at a Bowie Baysox baseball game, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Texas chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last minute, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans, probably) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. Go »
Durante Made A Living With That Nose
I really wish it were talent alone that made actors succeed in Hollywood. But (big shocker) looks and "who knows whom" still co-reigns with ability. Some individuals succeed without perfect looks and even with somewhat flawed looks. Go »
Love Letter and Goodbye
I had a very strange thing happen to me this morning. Overnight, I had a dream that featured my ex-wife, Betsy. I told Brenda about it and wondered what the image of Betsy represented in my subconscious that made me wake with such a clear image of her. Go »
Jackie Mason | October 6, 2011
[hidden by author request]