It's The Plumber!
by Steve West on September 17, 2011

The punchline to the old talking parrot joke recently leaped into my mind. Lauren dropped a lipstick tube down her bathroom sink because it has nothing to cover the drain hole. That thing that goes up and down to close the sink drain isn't part of this particular sink. I got a wrench to unscrew the trap and just a small amount of pressure broke the corroded pipe just after the trap. Broke it good. While I would like to think it was my Schwarzenegger-like strength that caused steel to break in half, it's just the fifty year old pipes failing. Fifty years just doesn't seem that old to me but what else could it be? It's not like we have extra hydrochloric acid in our water in Bowie.
I called the plumber and it's one of those $150 just to pull into your driveway kind of things. I have to supply the new faucet so it has the drain hole cover but he'll install it. I'm going to Lowe's now because I need a lawnmower. Grass-zilla is taking over my backyard in the two weeks I've owned this place but I never needed a lawnmower till now - a weed whacker sufficed on the quilt sized lawn I had before. A new electric mower should whack his radiated ass back to the stone age.
Home ownership costs money to maintain, I know. I'm not surprised by this. But there was so much repairing I already knew going into this sale so I wasn't counting on a new repair to pop up only two weeks after moving in. I'm putting my toolbox in the attic before I "fix" something else.
One Reply to It's The Plumber!
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

The Texas Chili Cook-Off
Recently, at a Bowie Baysox baseball game, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Texas chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last minute, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans, probably) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. Go »
I Hate Dentists At Halloween
This list of the worst candies to give at halloween includes toothbrushes commonly given by dental professionals. My dentist when I was a kid not only gave out toothbrushes but floss and a stern lecture on the way out the door for me and my parents. Jerk. Go »
Catching Up On 2011
Not that I think my life is that interesting but writing about stuff is a little therapeutic. Highlights in a nutshell: Both girls are routinely making Honor Roll. The work Brenda and I have to do to help make that happen - not routine. Go »
Pedants 'R' Us
Today, we attended a celebration for a very good friend of mine whose daughter was graduating High School. It got me thinking in an educational mode so I thought I'd share a pictorial overview of air quotes. Go »
Post-Delaware Staycation
The last leg of our vacation was a trip to Dutch Wonderland in Lancaster, PA. This is a pretty terrific amusement park for kids, I mean little kids. Most of the rides are designed for children between the ages 6 & 10. Go »
Jackie Mason | October 6, 2011
[hidden by author request]