It's The Plumber!
by Steve West on September 17, 2011

The punchline to the old talking parrot joke recently leaped into my mind. Lauren dropped a lipstick tube down her bathroom sink because it has nothing to cover the drain hole. That thing that goes up and down to close the sink drain isn't part of this particular sink. I got a wrench to unscrew the trap and just a small amount of pressure broke the corroded pipe just after the trap. Broke it good. While I would like to think it was my Schwarzenegger-like strength that caused steel to break in half, it's just the fifty year old pipes failing. Fifty years just doesn't seem that old to me but what else could it be? It's not like we have extra hydrochloric acid in our water in Bowie.
I called the plumber and it's one of those $150 just to pull into your driveway kind of things. I have to supply the new faucet so it has the drain hole cover but he'll install it. I'm going to Lowe's now because I need a lawnmower. Grass-zilla is taking over my backyard in the two weeks I've owned this place but I never needed a lawnmower till now - a weed whacker sufficed on the quilt sized lawn I had before. A new electric mower should whack his radiated ass back to the stone age.
Home ownership costs money to maintain, I know. I'm not surprised by this. But there was so much repairing I already knew going into this sale so I wasn't counting on a new repair to pop up only two weeks after moving in. I'm putting my toolbox in the attic before I "fix" something else.
One Reply to It's The Plumber!
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

If It's Human Waste, Save Some For Me
Should Burt Reynolds' fecal matter be worth more than Crispin Glover's? Which costs more: David Lee Roth's fecal matter or Sammy Hagar's urine? Start your Christmas list now for Celebrity Organic Waste Products. Go »
New Talent On 60 Minutes
Funny clip of various characters who have said, "I am ...," taken from a film or TV segment and then added to the opening of 60 Minutes. (link) Go »
Halloween Is For The Dogs
Last year for Halloween, I took all of Lauren's stuffed dogs and sewed their mouths to parts of my shirt and pants (with fake bleeding cuts on my arms and face) and went as an attack dog trainer. This year, I need to adopt or at least rent a dog so I can dress it like this for Halloween. Holy Kibbles & Bits Or this... Go »
We Were That Close
Brenda and I looked at a house a few days ago and were very charmed by it. It was a ranch style home with four bedrooms, a large fenced yard and was selling at a reasonable price. Brenda was a little unsure of the size of the bedrooms but agreed to go back and specifically measure them with a tape measure and if they met her minimum standards, she would agree to make an offer for the house. Go »
Get 'Em While They're Hot
Good stuff. Video of the week 1: Cactus gameshow. We have the technology. Go »










Jackie Mason | October 6, 2011
[hidden by author request]