Jeffrey Katzenberg is a Crazy Person
by Scott Hardie on December 26, 2008
I'm no fan of 3-D. I have lazy eye, which makes my right eye blurry and my left eye sharp. During a normal movie, I usually sit up front to be absorbed in the picture so that it doesn't matter, or if I sit in the back, I can concentrate to correct my vision. But 3-D doesn't work for me. The images come floating out from the screen with 50% opacity, since I only see them with one eye. They look superimposed on the solid background like transparent holograms.
That's why I dread the future predicted by Jeffrey Katzenberg, Robert Zemeckis, and James Cameron, who say that all films will soon be 3-D. They're doing their part to bring about that future by only making their own films that way. I can take or leave the films of Katzenberg and Zemeckis, but Cameron is something else, a man who makes entertainments like nobody else and whose work I will not want to skip. Still, as much as I dread it, I doubt that their future will come to pass, since there are so many "wave of the future" ideas that never come to pass. Just a few years ago, all films were going to be shot against bluescreen with CGI sets, and that turned out great.
All this is why I read with interest Roger Ebert's interview of Katzenberg, who is gearing up for release of his 3-D magnum opus Monsters vs Aliens this spring. Katzenberg comes off like the hilariously out-of-touch movie executive that he is, talking about how "story matters" and "quality makes the difference" in a movie about a gelatinous blob fighting a robotic hamster from space. Pixar has demonstrated the importance of putting story and character first in an animated production, but Katzenberg's Dreamworks Animation keeps churning out craptacular toons year after year that fail to learn that lesson. Maybe Monsters vs Aliens will be the Gone with the Wind of talking CGI animals, but I doubt it. Katzenberg's description of the film, especially the emphasis on what he thinks is important (character name puns, Will Arnett in the voice cast), indicates that this will be yet another forgettable piece of garbage from the Dreamworks Animation crap factory.
And that's what makes him sound even crazier with his "end is near" prophecies about 3-D taking over: He's convinced that quality will lead the charge and make 3-D adoption inevitable, but he wouldn't know a quality film if it bit his box office returns in the ass. He's tone-deaf for what makes a movie good. Against this backdrop, all of his other predictions start to sound crazier: People can't watch 3-D movies at home because they can't make their living rooms dark! People are going to buy widely-available prescription 3-D glasses that they walk around wearing in their daily lives! Wow, Jeffrey, it's like you have your finger on the pulse of America. The more I read of this fool's ravings, the more I breathe easier about a 3-D future that will clearly never come, at least not the way this idiot says it will.
Two Replies to Jeffrey Katzenberg is a Crazy Person
Amy Austin | December 31, 2008
I had not heard such things about these filmmakers... crazy indeed.
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »
Scooter
Headline: Bush Commutes Libby's Prison Sentence Yeah, there are complicated legal and political factors involved, but to the average citizen (me) it reads like "President's friend gets out of jail free." Man, I gotta track down George's MySpace and add him as a friend. Go »Firsties
It's been one year today since Kelly and I got married, but that feels strange to say, since it's been nineteen years today since our first date back in high school. I don't mind that it took us so long to get to this "first" anniversary; I'm just glad that we got here at last. We spent the day out feeding flamingos at a local animal sanctuary and eating at some favorite restaurants before I go back on diet tomorrow. Go »Signs of Summer
The recent Florida wildfires have been a nasty reminder (I drove through one burned-down forest and it was a terrible sight), but if you need any more indication that summer is here, just step outside: It's scorching. Apparently one local still didn't think it was hot enough to take precautions, as evidenced by the recent explosion in the parking lot when we pulled into a strip mall for lunch. An entire trailer had burned into ash with only a skeletal frame and two melted tires remaining. Go »Real Predictions, from a Guy Who Takes This Too Seriously
Some of my Oscar contest predictions are solely based on my odds of "winning" the contest. I'm curious to find out if what film I really think will win in certain categories comes out on top. Best Picture: Babel Best Original Screenplay: Babel Best Original Score: Babel Best Film Editing: Blood Diamond Best Costume Design: Marie Antoinette Here's looking forward to a good show tonight. Go »Moving Day
You don't think about how much unnecessary stuff you own until you're paying someone by the hour to move it all. After Kelly and I moved into our new home last night, here's the current state of our living room, guest room, and garage. The house is a mess, and so are we. Go »
Scott Hardie | December 26, 2008
For the record, if the future really is all 3-D, then I hope Katzenberg is right about prescription glasses becoming available, even if only by specialty order. It might finally solve the vision problems that prevent me from seeing a 3-D film properly.