Jeffrey Katzenberg is a Crazy Person
by Scott Hardie on December 26, 2008
I'm no fan of 3-D. I have lazy eye, which makes my right eye blurry and my left eye sharp. During a normal movie, I usually sit up front to be absorbed in the picture so that it doesn't matter, or if I sit in the back, I can concentrate to correct my vision. But 3-D doesn't work for me. The images come floating out from the screen with 50% opacity, since I only see them with one eye. They look superimposed on the solid background like transparent holograms.
That's why I dread the future predicted by Jeffrey Katzenberg, Robert Zemeckis, and James Cameron, who say that all films will soon be 3-D. They're doing their part to bring about that future by only making their own films that way. I can take or leave the films of Katzenberg and Zemeckis, but Cameron is something else, a man who makes entertainments like nobody else and whose work I will not want to skip. Still, as much as I dread it, I doubt that their future will come to pass, since there are so many "wave of the future" ideas that never come to pass. Just a few years ago, all films were going to be shot against bluescreen with CGI sets, and that turned out great.
All this is why I read with interest Roger Ebert's interview of Katzenberg, who is gearing up for release of his 3-D magnum opus Monsters vs Aliens this spring. Katzenberg comes off like the hilariously out-of-touch movie executive that he is, talking about how "story matters" and "quality makes the difference" in a movie about a gelatinous blob fighting a robotic hamster from space. Pixar has demonstrated the importance of putting story and character first in an animated production, but Katzenberg's Dreamworks Animation keeps churning out craptacular toons year after year that fail to learn that lesson. Maybe Monsters vs Aliens will be the Gone with the Wind of talking CGI animals, but I doubt it. Katzenberg's description of the film, especially the emphasis on what he thinks is important (character name puns, Will Arnett in the voice cast), indicates that this will be yet another forgettable piece of garbage from the Dreamworks Animation crap factory.
And that's what makes him sound even crazier with his "end is near" prophecies about 3-D taking over: He's convinced that quality will lead the charge and make 3-D adoption inevitable, but he wouldn't know a quality film if it bit his box office returns in the ass. He's tone-deaf for what makes a movie good. Against this backdrop, all of his other predictions start to sound crazier: People can't watch 3-D movies at home because they can't make their living rooms dark! People are going to buy widely-available prescription 3-D glasses that they walk around wearing in their daily lives! Wow, Jeffrey, it's like you have your finger on the pulse of America. The more I read of this fool's ravings, the more I breathe easier about a 3-D future that will clearly never come, at least not the way this idiot says it will.
Two Replies to Jeffrey Katzenberg is a Crazy Person
Amy Austin | December 31, 2008
I had not heard such things about these filmmakers... crazy indeed.
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »
Who's Got (Car) Trouble
I'm not even halfway through paying off my new car and already it's being towed to have the engine worked on, since it won't start tonight. It didn't deal well with Kelly's camping event last weekend, coming home with creaking suspension and broken power locks, and now this. He's hoping all four tires (just replaced in the spring) make it through GooCon this time. Go »Mars Needs Kitties
Thanks to Lori for sending me this: That gets me thinking: Do you think if people hadn't had the idea for crop circles until a decade later that the fad would have even happened? In this decade we have the tools on personal computers to fake images like this with photo-perfect results, and hoaxers could just distribute photos with the click of a mouse. Photos have been doctored for decades, of course, but now your grandma can do it, you know? Go »His Name is Bond
[Spoilers for Casino Royale.] One of my favorite bits of any fan-invented mythology is the identity of 007: It is held by some series fans (and me) that "James Bond" is merely a codename. When one Bond is killed or retires, another one takes his place and assumes the same name, which is why you see a different actor every decade and the man doesn't age despite having been around since the Kennedy administration. Go »More Free-Fallin'
A skydiver's chutes won't open, he falls 12,000 feet and survives with minor injuries, and the whole thing is captured on his helmet camera. (link) You have to click on the speaker to activate the sound. Go »Hello Stupid
I don't know why car companies insist on calling their products "vehicles" now. Apparently "cars" became a dirty word and I missed it. But if you're going to change the term, consider your marketing messages carefully: As a matter of fact, yes, I have heard about radar, sonar, and infared technology in vehicles, such as submarines, aircraft carriers, and helicopters. Go »
Scott Hardie | December 26, 2008
For the record, if the future really is all 3-D, then I hope Katzenberg is right about prescription glasses becoming available, even if only by specialty order. It might finally solve the vision problems that prevent me from seeing a 3-D film properly.