Lauren Peeks Into Imelda's Closet
by Steve West on July 23, 2016

Lauren is at Summer Camp until tomorrow and while she was gone, I sent her a card. It's become traditional for the card to be "shoe-themed". This year, the outside of the card featured a picture of the president awarding her a prize.
The President states, "Because you have saved the nation from all spiders I am awarding you this pair of magic shoes. While wearing these, you can run so fast that you can even outrun death itself."
Picture of Lauren with the quote, "Well, thanks..."
Inside the card starts with picture of Lauren pointing at a pair of individual toe shoes saying, "Wait, these are those shoes with the weird individual toes."
The President replies, "But wearing these shoes will make you immortal!"
Lauren responds, "I'm gonna have to think about this..."
One Reply to Lauren Peeks Into Imelda's Closet
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Post Florida is Literally Murder
Brenda and I recently returned from a wonderful week spent in Sarasota with Scott and Kelly. Lauren and her husband, Jon, were able to fly down from ND to care for Olivia while we were travelling. The trip started as a mixed bag of positives and negatives, as the people in the row in front of us spoke incessantly and at an annoyingly loud volume but the young lady who shared our row was delightful. Go »
If It's Human Waste, Save Some For Me
Should Burt Reynolds' fecal matter be worth more than Crispin Glover's? Which costs more: David Lee Roth's fecal matter or Sammy Hagar's urine? Start your Christmas list now for Celebrity Organic Waste Products. Go »
Halloween Is Not For Kids
More and more, Halloween is becoming an occasion for parents to dress their kids for their own amusement and less and less for children to dress themselves as they want. I find it difficult to believe that any of these kids chose these costumes themselves and, although creative, are scary insights into the minds of their potential serial killer parents. The "rat eating brains" cap for infants disturbed me the most. Go »
Halloween Post #8: Geek-O'Lanterns
Happy Halloween! Celebrate this absurdly lovable holiday with a time-consuming habit of making a jack-o-lantern. Despite the inherent silliness of carving a gourd as an act of celebration, these pumpkins are very impressive. Go »
Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 2
Another collection of dumb criminals/lawsuits. Over-salted burger; anger management irony; the writing is on the wall dope; porn = pain; and finally, from the "What Did They Expect?" department, Unwanted donation . Go »
Scott Hardie | August 7, 2016
Hehe, I like it. I take it there must have been some pretty good cards along these lines in previous years, too.