As an honor to Brenda, we got her some plants for the house and lawn. Nice plants. All now dead from neglect. It really doesn't take long to go from that nursery look of health and heartiness to something that a starving rabbit wouldn't touch. I don't have a picture of the actual plants but these are reasonable facsimiles. I looked at the plants and gave Brenda the official Dr. Brown Thumb diagnosis: Rosenplantz and Guildenfern are dead.


Four Replies to Mother's Day Gifts

Scott Hardie | June 1, 2011
Next year, plastic plants? If she manages to do the same thing to those...

Erik Bates | June 1, 2011
[hidden by author request]

Chris Lemler | June 1, 2011
How about baseball tickets to a game.

Jackie Mason | June 11, 2011
[hidden by author request]


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Never Volunteer, Dummy

Ever since seeing Anthony Hopkins in Magic, ventriloquists and their evil dummies have given me the creeps. This guy does as well but I laughed nonetheless. I think I could sit through his entire act but could never get past the queasiness and actually volunteer like this guy did. Go »

49 Out of 50 is Pretty Compelling

Forty-nine out of fifty states currently have snow on the ground from recent snowfalls. Guess which state is the only one without snow. That's right, Brenda. Go »

Random Thoughts While Stuck in Traffic

There's a serious traffic jam on the 495 Washington beltway that I happen to be stuck in. It's worse than stop & go, stop & go - it's more like stooooooop & go, stoooooooooooop & go. Trying to stay awake, my mind is wandering, giving me images and sounds. Go »

Really Cheap Costumes

Looking for a great photo for a future Halloween section in that photo album you can show the grandkids? Just wear one of these T-shirts. And then get arrested. Go »

Japanese Terebi Game Shows 2

Sometimes clever but usually hilarious clips from one particularly wacky game show. Human Tetris I; Human Tetris II; Human Tetris III. Go »

Brenda's Diet Diary

Dear Diet Diary, As a Christmas present this year, my daughter, Lauren (what a thoughtful darling), bought me a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in reasonable shape since being a high school cheerleader 40 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Juan Antonio (ooh what a name) who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. Go »