Obama Criticizes Obama Over Rising Gas Prices
by Scott Hardie on April 24, 2011

I was going to share this fake news article that I drafted in a chat with friends...

Stopped at a DC-area gas station to fill up his motorcade, President Obama groaned as he watched the numbers climbing ever higher on the pump. "God, why don't I get off my ass and do something about the price of gas?" he said to himself. "What am I doing that's so important? Aren't I supposed to be fixing this economy already?" The president shifted his weight and elaborated. "I should probably get tough on the Saudis and just tell them to sell us oil cheaper if they know what's good for them. Oh, wait! Isn't there, like, some strategic reserve or something that I could tap? I should definitely open that up. Americans are losing their jobs!" Twisting shut the cap on his gas tank, Obama speculated about his motives. "Maybe I don't take this seriously because we didn't have to worry about gas where I grew up in Kenya."

One Reply to Obama Criticizes Obama Over Rising Gas Prices

Jackie Mason | April 29, 2011
[hidden by author request]

Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Sup

Miscellaneous goings-on: - Work is a joy. I have become accustomed to operating in ongoing semi-crisis mode because something's going wrong at any given time, and I love it. I love seeing the pressures of schedule and interpersonal conflict force my staff to devise innovative new solutions. Go »

Real Predictions, from a Guy Who Takes This Too Seriously

Some of my Oscar contest predictions are solely based on my odds of "winning" the contest. I'm curious to find out if what film I really think will win in certain categories comes out on top. Best Picture: Babel Best Original Screenplay: Babel Best Original Score: Babel Best Film Editing: Blood Diamond Best Costume Design: Marie Antoinette Here's looking forward to a good show tonight. Go »

Ten Things I Learned While Kelly's Parents Pat & Russ Spent a Week Visiting Us

• Florida reminds me of Dave Barry's quip that vacationing in Britain is great because you meet people from entirely different states. We stopped a woman to take our picture; she was visiting from New Jersey and her daughter beside her was from California. The only local we met warned us what bridge not to jump off for swimming because the water is shark-infested. Go »

Ketchup Packets

I was verbally mugged by a former coworker today, a guy I used to think of as a friend some time ago. I had the displeasure of laying him off last year, and after months of struggling to get by with nothing but condiments in his fridge, he started a blog to vent his frustration at me and a few other coworkers he disliked. The comments are very mean-spirited, from professional criticisms about my managerial competence and decision-making, to personal and apparently very nasty jokes about my weight and appearance. Go »

Things I Learned About Disc Golf Today

- There are different kinds of Frisbees, like heavy ones for putting and thin ones for long drives. - There's no sweeter sound than the jangle of those chains when your disc drops in. - Yelling "fore!" Go »

Bill$

Saving up is hard to do. I'm spending every dollar I have after the holidays to move Kelly here next week, then we have to move again in two months to a larger place. And I have more than a grand to pay in taxes. Go »