Renaissance: Everything Old Is New Again
by Steve West on August 24, 2008
The Maryland Renaissance Festival is an annual event that takes place on eight consecutive weekends each year at an outdoor site in Crownsville, MD. It usually starts right around when school does so Brenda and I have been distracted away from going for several years. We promised the girls we would absolutely go this year for their mini-vacation.
The Festival in one word would be cleavage. I saw more cleavage than an Elvira marathon. Without even trying to, you understand. Costumed people say period things and engage each other in mock conversation for any passersby benefit and amusement. A hundred different booths and shops sell clothing and costumes, glass blown objets d'art, sculpture, wax casts of your face and hands, face painters, masks, satyr and nymph horn headgear, fake weapons, hand carved walking sticks, etc., etc., etc...
The foods were hilarious but tasty offerings like 'steak on a stake' and entire turkey legs. And lots and lots of mead.
Entertainment (besides cleavage) consisted of sword swallowers, jugglers, people on stilts, pony and elephant rides, story tellers, short plays like Macbeth in 20 minutes or less, jousting and archery demonstrations, as well as modern day boardwalk games done with a middle ages twist.
Most items (including admission) were incredibly reasonable except for the elephant ride which cost me $30.00 for the four of us. But now I can check that off of the list of things to do before I die. The jester that was annoying me backed off when I told him that, "Methinks you better back the hell off or I'll putteth my foot up your ass" Tried to stay in the spirit of things but that guy was not funny and he was scaring my kids. Cute little playground was there too and after I bought Lauren a souveneir princess cone hat with the silk veil thingy coming out of the top, a lot of the characters began referring to her as M'lady and one goth chick stopped her and said, "Awesome hat!" That made her day. Now she loves pirates because they're so gallant. How many bad marriages occur because young girls think pirates are gallant? Sigh.
Overall, it was the highlight of our vacation and I hope we go again sometime.
Four Replies to Renaissance: Everything Old Is New Again
Steve West | August 24, 2008
Yes, completely rhetorical and thoroughly tongue in cheek. It's just I didn't have the heart to tell her that pirates were thieves and murderers, she was so enchanted.
Amy Austin | August 24, 2008
As was mine...
Though it just so happens that a certain party is attending a conference in your neck of the woods, and I can't help but imagine an intervention... ;-)
Tony Peters | August 24, 2008
I remember mead and oyster shooters at that festival...I have yet to find one as good as that one
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Pedants 'R' Us
Today, we attended a celebration for a very good friend of mine whose daughter was graduating High School. It got me thinking in an educational mode so I thought I'd share a pictorial overview of air quotes. Go »Halloween Is Not For Kids
More and more, Halloween is becoming an occasion for parents to dress their kids for their own amusement and less and less for children to dress themselves as they want. I find it difficult to believe that any of these kids chose these costumes themselves and, although creative, are scary insights into the minds of their potential serial killer parents. The "rat eating brains" cap for infants disturbed me the most. Go »What's For Dinner?
After 22 years of marriage, I've discovered that when two people love each other, nothing is impossible. Except deciding where to eat. Go »The Texas Chili Cook-Off
Recently, at a Bowie Baysox baseball game, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Texas chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last minute, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans, probably) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. Go »Driftwood Horses
I walk along the beach and I see firewood and that opening scene from Jaws. This lady sees Go »
Amy Austin | August 24, 2008
How many bad marriages occur because young girls think pirates are gallant?
Is that a rhetorical question??? I wasn't *that* young...