The Maryland Renaissance Festival is an annual event that takes place on eight consecutive weekends each year at an outdoor site in Crownsville, MD. It usually starts right around when school does so Brenda and I have been distracted away from going for several years. We promised the girls we would absolutely go this year for their mini-vacation.

The Festival in one word would be cleavage. I saw more cleavage than an Elvira marathon. Without even trying to, you understand. Costumed people say period things and engage each other in mock conversation for any passersby benefit and amusement. A hundred different booths and shops sell clothing and costumes, glass blown objets d'art, sculpture, wax casts of your face and hands, face painters, masks, satyr and nymph horn headgear, fake weapons, hand carved walking sticks, etc., etc., etc...

The foods were hilarious but tasty offerings like 'steak on a stake' and entire turkey legs. And lots and lots of mead.

Entertainment (besides cleavage) consisted of sword swallowers, jugglers, people on stilts, pony and elephant rides, story tellers, short plays like Macbeth in 20 minutes or less, jousting and archery demonstrations, as well as modern day boardwalk games done with a middle ages twist.

Most items (including admission) were incredibly reasonable except for the elephant ride which cost me $30.00 for the four of us. But now I can check that off of the list of things to do before I die. The jester that was annoying me backed off when I told him that, "Methinks you better back the hell off or I'll putteth my foot up your ass" Tried to stay in the spirit of things but that guy was not funny and he was scaring my kids. Cute little playground was there too and after I bought Lauren a souveneir princess cone hat with the silk veil thingy coming out of the top, a lot of the characters began referring to her as M'lady and one goth chick stopped her and said, "Awesome hat!" That made her day. Now she loves pirates because they're so gallant. How many bad marriages occur because young girls think pirates are gallant? Sigh.

Overall, it was the highlight of our vacation and I hope we go again sometime.


Four Replies to Renaissance: Everything Old Is New Again

Amy Austin | August 24, 2008
How many bad marriages occur because young girls think pirates are gallant?

Is that a rhetorical question??? I wasn't *that* young...

Steve West | August 24, 2008
Yes, completely rhetorical and thoroughly tongue in cheek. It's just I didn't have the heart to tell her that pirates were thieves and murderers, she was so enchanted.

Amy Austin | August 24, 2008
As was mine...

Though it just so happens that a certain party is attending a conference in your neck of the woods, and I can't help but imagine an intervention... ;-)

Tony Peters | August 24, 2008
I remember mead and oyster shooters at that festival...I have yet to find one as good as that one


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Differences That Make All The Difference

Recent discussion with Brenda: me: There's such a huge difference between how I interact with people at work and how I interact with the people in my home. Brenda: How so? me: At work, I spend all day talking about banking practices and domestic and international finance. Go »

Special Olympics

Today, Brenda and I had our annual meeting for Olivia's Individual Education Plan (IEP). The whole team meets which is comprised by at least 6 various educators and the parents. Some teachers just pop in for just a few minutes. Go »

My Favorite Memory

Yesterday, we held the memorial service for my father-in-law. There were approximately 100 people attending and afterward about 1/3 gathered at his home for a small meal and sharing remembrances. I chose to share my memory of the time, twenty years ago, when I asked him for his blessing for my planned proposal to Brenda, his eldest daughter. Go »

My Faith in Humanity is Restored

This is a true story I saw on a travel blog website. Late one night, a woman and her husband received the tragic news that their three-year-old grandson in Denver had been murdered by their daughter’s live-in boyfriend. The boy was being taken off life support at 9 o’clock that evening and his parents opted for organ donation which would take place immediately upon his passing. Go »

Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes...

My wife has been bugging me lately about the amount of time I spend on the computer. She claims she's merely trying to restore my perspective. Fine. Go »

Toothpicks, They're Not Just For Club Sandwiches Anymore

Remember back in fifth grade when you had to build that bridge, vague geometric shape, outhose, etc. out of toothpicks? The project so fragile if the bus to school took a turn at more than 2 mph, it would crumble to pieces. Go »