Renaissance: Everything Old Is New Again
by Steve West on August 24, 2008

The Maryland Renaissance Festival is an annual event that takes place on eight consecutive weekends each year at an outdoor site in Crownsville, MD. It usually starts right around when school does so Brenda and I have been distracted away from going for several years. We promised the girls we would absolutely go this year for their mini-vacation.
The Festival in one word would be cleavage. I saw more cleavage than an Elvira marathon. Without even trying to, you understand. Costumed people say period things and engage each other in mock conversation for any passersby benefit and amusement. A hundred different booths and shops sell clothing and costumes, glass blown objets d'art, sculpture, wax casts of your face and hands, face painters, masks, satyr and nymph horn headgear, fake weapons, hand carved walking sticks, etc., etc., etc...
The foods were hilarious but tasty offerings like 'steak on a stake' and entire turkey legs. And lots and lots of mead.
Entertainment (besides cleavage) consisted of sword swallowers, jugglers, people on stilts, pony and elephant rides, story tellers, short plays like Macbeth in 20 minutes or less, jousting and archery demonstrations, as well as modern day boardwalk games done with a middle ages twist.
Most items (including admission) were incredibly reasonable except for the elephant ride which cost me $30.00 for the four of us. But now I can check that off of the list of things to do before I die. The jester that was annoying me backed off when I told him that, "Methinks you better back the hell off or I'll putteth my foot up your ass" Tried to stay in the spirit of things but that guy was not funny and he was scaring my kids. Cute little playground was there too and after I bought Lauren a souveneir princess cone hat with the silk veil thingy coming out of the top, a lot of the characters began referring to her as M'lady and one goth chick stopped her and said, "Awesome hat!" That made her day. Now she loves pirates because they're so gallant. How many bad marriages occur because young girls think pirates are gallant? Sigh.
Overall, it was the highlight of our vacation and I hope we go again sometime.
Four Replies to Renaissance: Everything Old Is New Again
Steve West | August 24, 2008
Yes, completely rhetorical and thoroughly tongue in cheek. It's just I didn't have the heart to tell her that pirates were thieves and murderers, she was so enchanted.
Amy Austin | August 24, 2008
As was mine...
Though it just so happens that a certain party is attending a conference in your neck of the woods, and I can't help but imagine an intervention... ;-)
Tony Peters | August 24, 2008
I remember mead and oyster shooters at that festival...I have yet to find one as good as that one
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 3
Another small collection of weird legal matters. Yeah research, that's the ticket; Too manly for the ladies' room; Chi-tonw blues; Cat's got yer what?; and finally, I have no idea what it's like to be busted for DUI, taken for mugshots wearing a shirt displaying my love for midget sex, and then being forever haunted by that image surfacing on the internet, but I know who to ask. Go »
Got Dem Sunday Shopping UOAS Blues
Weekly shopping or as it has become, my weekly stroll through Satan's marketplace. I consciously avoided UOAS's line and since there were only two lines, chose the one next door. Let's call this one Slightly Less Ugly On A Stick. Go »
Christmas Post #21: Christmas Songs
Spinner.com submitted their list of the 12 best Christmas songs. Songs, not carols. Go »
Me and Al Bundy
Recently, Brenda made the mistake of asking me to fix the toilet. It seemed to have gunk in the thingy that supplies the water and would only filll if I poked it with a paper clip in the spout thingy. You can tell I'm a semi-professional because of all the technical jargon. Go »
Halloween Post #3: Haunted Houses
Getting scared for the fun of it. What a concept. Sorry to say I can't fathom it in the least. Go »










Amy Austin | August 24, 2008
How many bad marriages occur because young girls think pirates are gallant?
Is that a rhetorical question??? I wasn't *that* young...