My God, bowling has gotten expensive. Sorry to speak of the costs of things so much but hey, this is a getting a little ridiculous. One game cost me $17.00. $17.00 and I don't get to take anything home with me. Sure it was fun but for that kind of money I want a case of scotch to go with it! Three games for the four of us would have cost $40.00 not counting the shoe rental, but Olivia was done after one. We came home after the one game which took an hour because of Olivia's slow play. She's still at that legs spread, two-handed pendulum kick start stage of bowling. Lauren was so proud of herself for getting a better score than Brenda did and Brenda tried to use the excuse of the girls taking advantage of the gutter bumpers. I told her the bumpers were there for her too, so she could have used them. She threatened to put a certain part of my anatomy in the ball polisher, if you know what I'm saying.

After lunch, it was time for a couple hours at kiddie heaven - Chuck E. Cheese's! The girls are hilarious there. Olivia throws the skee balls over-handed when I'm not looking. Lauren crawls throught the tunnels and stops at each window to wave and/or make sure I'm still watching. We took turns in the Chuckie sketch booth and the results weren't bad.

Me & Lauren


Brenda & Olivia


Lauren opted for these goofy glasses as her ticket collection reward.


Olivia wisely opted for a lollipop. Hershey Park tomorrow. God give me strength.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

What'd I Step In?

Things stuck to the bottom of my internet shoe. Things not to do while wearing briefs made of beef jerky. (Besides wearing briefs made of beef jerky) Venezuelans believe children should not watch The Simpsons, offer more wholesome fare instead. Go »

No Clowns On Halloween Allowed At My Door

Or "How Ronald McDonald Kicked My Ass" About ten years ago, shortly before Brenda and I got married, we attended a Halloween party at a friend's house. The primary reason to get together was obviously to dress up like we did when we were little but secondarily to get drunk as a sailor on shore leave. The standard "funny name" cocktails were offered like "sex on the beach" and "southern screw" and "raw sewage". Go »

The Fragrance of Introverts

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: You look so busy. What are you working on now? Me: An advertisement for a cologne for introverts that hasn't been created yet. Go »

Art Imitates Life

I had a flat tire this morning and it momentarily bummed me out. I ran over a bolt and could see it sticking out of the damned thing. I really didn't feel like crawling around on the oily pavement in my work clothes, so I called roadside assistance provided by my insurance carrier. Go »

Dear Miriam...

Oh, thank you Miriam, that's great advice. BTW this letter is indeed a spoof of the "Dear Miriam" column in The Daily Mirror that appeared in the satirical publication Viz. Pretty damn funny, though. Go »

Crazy For You, Baby

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: You know how crazy I am for you? Brenda: Crazy enough to raise three kids. me: I'm crazy enough to ignore the voices in my head when we talk. Go »