Brenda and I attended a school meeting today to discuss the battery of assessments needed to properly develop an education plan for Olivia. After hearing the assessments from the primary teacher, occupational therapist, speech therapist and physical therapist, we got to the part that was a stunner to say the least - the school psychologist. After giving her report which mimicked the other reports to a large degree, she informed us that she felt it was time to officially put it in the record that Olivia was intellectually disabled. Prior to October of this year the term was mentally retarded.

This is something that Brenda and I have discussed amongst ourselves but it has never been part of an official report. The evidence was fairly apparent. She's two standard deviations from her same age peers academically, adaptively and cognitively. The education gap she faces is expected only to widen. I asked several questions and tried to respond to questions asked of me while Brenda wept quietly beside me. My primary concern was not in avoiding such a stigmatizing label, but to understand the implications of the term on an educational level. Her education program will remain unchanged. Her primary diagnosis is autism. This will only be more descriptive information to Olivia's future educators in Middle and High School to assist them in meeting her needs.

I withheld any emotion at the time because Olivia needed a sober listener to the facts. I cried later when thinking of this little child, who already has a huge strike against her being confronted with another burden. What can I do more? How can I help her to be an independent adult when I can't be there for her any longer? What am I not doing now? The one thing that won't change is how I feel for my baby. I am truly thankful for the heart I've been given to know that my feelings of love and obligation are unchanged since the day she was born. I love you, sweetheart.


One Reply to Strike Two

Scott Hardie | November 6, 2010
Your family has been in my thoughts all day, Steve. Olivia did win something in the genetic raffle and that's having you and Brenda as wonderful parents, and I don't just mean that as some flattering platitude. You're both determined to see her get the very best support that she can, which is what this diagnosis will help to achieve. I wish the best for her and for all four of you.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Ice Cream That Would Make Homer Simpson Retch

In all honesty, I felt physically ill after about 1/3 of the way through this list. I could actually taste some of this nauseating stuff and it made my stomach churn. I don't even want to know what raw horseflesh flavor is like. Go »

Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster

So we got this gift from a mother-in law who shall remain nameless; a "super-mega-nuclear look at me long enough and your face will melt like that guy in Raiders toaster. There was nothing wrong with our existing toaster but when she saw it on QVC, my nameless mother-in-law had one of those have to have it moments. I've nicknamed the toaster Darth Vader because regardless of the setting, it turns the bread to the dark side every time. Go »

Halloween Is For The Cats

Lest our feline readers feel left out, follow the links to some pretty cool costumed cats. They really look a lot more regal than their canine counterparts. Satan's kitty Earl, the cross-eyed cowboy kitty I am Me-owl from Krypton There isn't any garlic in that catnip, is there? Go »

For Your Consideration...

So many actors are on their best behaviour come Oscar time because they don't want anything to interfere with their chances to win in this rare opportunity. The rarest of opportunities occurs this year for Mickey Rourke who is not exactly on a first name basis with Oscar nominations. And may never be there again. Go »

Punched In The Nose With A Stinky Fist

The complete culinary compilation of Steve, Don't Eat It! at Sneeze.com. My reading was interrupted by a need for defibrillation - laughed so hard my heart stopped. Go »

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

Because it's Iran Defense Week, their military was on parade to show their strength. Ahmadinejad claimed there were no gay men in the country. Perhaps, but a lot of them resemble Lady Gaga (Scoopy joke). Go »