Brenda and I attended a school meeting today to discuss the battery of assessments needed to properly develop an education plan for Olivia. After hearing the assessments from the primary teacher, occupational therapist, speech therapist and physical therapist, we got to the part that was a stunner to say the least - the school psychologist. After giving her report which mimicked the other reports to a large degree, she informed us that she felt it was time to officially put it in the record that Olivia was intellectually disabled. Prior to October of this year the term was mentally retarded.

This is something that Brenda and I have discussed amongst ourselves but it has never been part of an official report. The evidence was fairly apparent. She's two standard deviations from her same age peers academically, adaptively and cognitively. The education gap she faces is expected only to widen. I asked several questions and tried to respond to questions asked of me while Brenda wept quietly beside me. My primary concern was not in avoiding such a stigmatizing label, but to understand the implications of the term on an educational level. Her education program will remain unchanged. Her primary diagnosis is autism. This will only be more descriptive information to Olivia's future educators in Middle and High School to assist them in meeting her needs.

I withheld any emotion at the time because Olivia needed a sober listener to the facts. I cried later when thinking of this little child, who already has a huge strike against her being confronted with another burden. What can I do more? How can I help her to be an independent adult when I can't be there for her any longer? What am I not doing now? The one thing that won't change is how I feel for my baby. I am truly thankful for the heart I've been given to know that my feelings of love and obligation are unchanged since the day she was born. I love you, sweetheart.


One Reply to Strike Two

Scott Hardie | November 6, 2010
Your family has been in my thoughts all day, Steve. Olivia did win something in the genetic raffle and that's having you and Brenda as wonderful parents, and I don't just mean that as some flattering platitude. You're both determined to see her get the very best support that she can, which is what this diagnosis will help to achieve. I wish the best for her and for all four of you.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

If I Were To Make A Children's Show...

...it would be similar to this promo for The Crime Channel featuring Gali the Alligator. The lyrics are a little hard to understand so I've attempted to transcribe them here. Go »

Real Baseball

I took the girls to a minor league baseball game last night. It was Autism Awareness night at the Bowie Baysox game which was the incentive for Brenda and I to go. The girls actually enjoyed the game for the first few innings but were more interested in the foods, carousel, moon bounce and face painting. Go »

Sages And Fools

UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however. UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue? Go »

Massage This

Recent conversation with Brenda: (After a massage and dinner as a birthday gift from her sister) me: How was everything? Brenda: I'm gonna be sore for the next few days. I made the mistake of asking for medium pressure. Go »

Tale Of The Mediocre Football Fan

Last Thursday, Brenda and I went to the final preseason football game of the Washington Redskins. The game was less than meaningful (as is the nature of preseason football) because rarely do actual starters play in the final preseason game. But the tickets and parking were free (gift from a friend), and it gave Brenda and I an opportunity to have an evening for just the two of us, a rarity for most parents. Go »

I Hate Dentists At Halloween

This list of the worst candies to give at halloween includes toothbrushes commonly given by dental professionals. My dentist when I was a kid not only gave out toothbrushes but floss and a stern lecture on the way out the door for me and my parents. Jerk. Go »