Brenda and I attended a school meeting today to discuss the battery of assessments needed to properly develop an education plan for Olivia. After hearing the assessments from the primary teacher, occupational therapist, speech therapist and physical therapist, we got to the part that was a stunner to say the least - the school psychologist. After giving her report which mimicked the other reports to a large degree, she informed us that she felt it was time to officially put it in the record that Olivia was intellectually disabled. Prior to October of this year the term was mentally retarded.

This is something that Brenda and I have discussed amongst ourselves but it has never been part of an official report. The evidence was fairly apparent. She's two standard deviations from her same age peers academically, adaptively and cognitively. The education gap she faces is expected only to widen. I asked several questions and tried to respond to questions asked of me while Brenda wept quietly beside me. My primary concern was not in avoiding such a stigmatizing label, but to understand the implications of the term on an educational level. Her education program will remain unchanged. Her primary diagnosis is autism. This will only be more descriptive information to Olivia's future educators in Middle and High School to assist them in meeting her needs.

I withheld any emotion at the time because Olivia needed a sober listener to the facts. I cried later when thinking of this little child, who already has a huge strike against her being confronted with another burden. What can I do more? How can I help her to be an independent adult when I can't be there for her any longer? What am I not doing now? The one thing that won't change is how I feel for my baby. I am truly thankful for the heart I've been given to know that my feelings of love and obligation are unchanged since the day she was born. I love you, sweetheart.


One Reply to Strike Two

Scott Hardie | November 6, 2010
Your family has been in my thoughts all day, Steve. Olivia did win something in the genetic raffle and that's having you and Brenda as wonderful parents, and I don't just mean that as some flattering platitude. You're both determined to see her get the very best support that she can, which is what this diagnosis will help to achieve. I wish the best for her and for all four of you.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Public Service Announcement

For those of you who will be pulled over by the police and asked the inevitable question, "Because I'm smokin' hot" is not the correct answer to "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Live and learn. Go »

How Old Is Too Old For Santa Claus?

My daughter Lauren wrote a letter to Santa in which she asked him for nothing - just a letter to say what a cool guy she thinks he is. It has a few misspellings and a grammar error or two and it's not written with the greatest penmanship. And it's completely adorable. Go »

One and One-half Is Not the Same As Two

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: There are not two scoops of raisins in my Raisin Bran. Brenda: Excuse me? me: There appears to be less than two scoops of raisins in my cereal box. Go »

Killer Home Decor (Literally)

From chalk outline welcome doormats to dead horse head pillows à la The Godfather (with protruding tongue, no less), this website features decorations to give your home that perfect serial killer feel. I especially like the pooling blood carpet. Go »

Placing Lust's Arrow In Cupid's Quiver

It's refreshing to reflect that the human race survived the sexually repressive Victorian Era. That women actually overcame their culturally reinforced suppression of sexual urges and ultimately spread their legs for something other than yeast related trail-blazing. Let's relive those glory days with the Victorian Sex Cry Generator and see where Fern Michaels gets her inspiration. Go »

Passion

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I've been thinking about our love life lately. Brenda: Have you been drinking? me: I think the best comparison would be to the cockroach. Go »