The Importance of Being Richard
by Scott Hardie on August 16, 2006

A conversation drifted today into weird shortening of names, like Robert into Bob and William into Bill (how come Michael doesn't become Bike?), and inevitably Richard into Dick came up. How did that even happen, anyway? As usual, Straight Dope had the answer, but in my car I didn't have much chance to check it. Knowing how much I dislike my first name and never use it, I expressed relief not to be named Richard/Dick instead, but then it was pointed out how I could pretty much make my own career in the porn business with the name Dick Hardie. Nobody would believe it was true; I'd have to go by a screen name like Ralph Yastrezimski or something. Can I honestly say I wouldn't consider a name change based on that?
In the news, Kentuckyfriedcruelty.com has changed his name back to Chris Garnett. I may not agree with his cause, but I applaud his determination for hanging on this long after the headlines faded. At least he's not in such bad shape as the woman who tattooed goldenpalace.com into her forehead.
Six Replies to The Importance of Being Richard
Denise Sawicki | August 16, 2006
We've been calling our dog Philip by a bunch of stupid nicknames: Pillip, Pill, Billip, Bill, Pillbert, Docket, Huckabee, Blurple, Phil Freemantle, who knows what else.
Jackie Mason | August 17, 2006
[hidden by author request]
Amy Austin | August 17, 2006
Heheh... Devil's been called "Big D", "Little D", Little Bit, Little Nicky (she sounds demonic when she "speaks" in her little devil-tongue sass) -- and let's not forget Wiggle-Butt, Dirt-Muncher, Snoopy-Dog, Scrumpchkin, Smiley, & Stinky... the list goes on. Angel, too (Cowgirl, Cow-Eyes, Cow-Tongue, Horsey, Livestock, Gargantua, Galoot, Behemoth, Sugar Sack, Big Scrumpchkin, Dirt-Muncher, & Stinky...) Too many nicknames to list, actually... ;-D
Jackie Mason | August 18, 2006
[hidden by author request]
Kris Weberg | August 19, 2006
Dogs need names, because they listen. All cats should simply be called "cat."
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Mac Killed My Inner Child
(link) nsfw Go »
Grievances
I haven't written about my life in this blog for a while because I haven't liked to think about the state of my life. Things could always be worse, but I still don't feel much optimism these days. - We're being pinched by the economy. Go »
This Blog Post Definitely Doesn't Conform to NPOV Standards
I once coined a rule that you couldn't read more than three complete articles on Wikipedia without running into a reference to some obscure joke from The Simpsons, Monty Python, or most commonly, Family Guy. Seriously: I just now clicked two links and landed at Anarcho-syndicalism of all things, and sure enough, there's Holy Grail in the "trivia" section. Should it be plural like that, since no one is ever going to enter another item of trivia? Go »
Ten Best of 2006
The feature is done. It was frustrating not being able to see more movies this year, and the brevity of the feature reflects that. Comments about the list, or mentions of your own favorite films last year, are welcome in the replies to this post. Go »
Warp Zone
President Bush has a new advisor: (link) Go »
Denise Sawicki | August 16, 2006
Girls' names have some weirder nicknames yet, in my opinion. For instance, Peggy and Daisy can be nicknames for Margaret, and Polly can be a nickname for Mary.
See here for examples. I can tell you the reason on Daisy if you don't know already, a daisy in French is un marguerite. I was obsessed with names as a kid.