- Aren't all of these books in the clearance aisles the same ones I saw while Christmas shopping?

- Sarasota must be really obsessed with astrology, Barack Obama, pet psychology, and Eastern cooking. Or the whole country is.

- Is that a Juno songbook in the guitar tablature section? Somebody actually wrote those crappy songs instead of making them up on the fly?

- There's also a Guitar Hero book of guitar tabs. Is it just red-blue-blue-red-green-red-blue-green-red...?

- My back sprain is not as healed as I thought. Thank goodness I'm in a store with chairs.

- Why am I drawn to trivia books? I already knew that flamingos eat with their heads upside down and Bill Clinton was the first left-handed president to serve two terms. I didn't know that Attila the Hun was a dwarf, though.

- The teen books section in three words: Vampires, vampires, vampires.

- Why is there always the same stack of globes in the back of the store? Who buys those? Apparently nobody.

- I know how much of an incredible nerd this makes me sound, but I confess that I was actually drawn to Star Trek Monopoly for a moment. What is wrong with me?


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

DMV Mystery

My last car, a 1996 Mercury, was registered in my mother's name, so every year in December (the month of her birthday), the registration sticker would be delivered to her at her house and she'd have to pass it to me to put on the license plate. No big deal. A few months ago, I bought a 2007 Dodge in my name, though she co-signed the credit application since I had no credit history. Go »

Scott's Pet Peeve #2519

Why do some microwaves have a convenient quick-start option if you press 1 or 2 or 3, so that they instantly start cooking with 1:00 or 2:00 or 3:00 on the clock... but DON'T have this same functionality programmed into 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, or 9, which do nothing when pressed alone? How does an engineer possess both the vision to provide the former and the lack of imagination that results in the latter? Go »

Open Letter to a Lab Technician at Manatee Memorial Hospital

Just a few things that I would have liked to have said if I could have gotten a word in edgewise: - Yes, there is a strong correlation between ultra-processed food and obesity, but so far, no causal connection has been proven. - No, organic produce is not *all* covered in pesticides anyway, although some is farmed using non-synthetic pesticide and some winds up exposed to synthetic pesticide anyway for a variety of reasons. - Bill Gates promotes and invests in soy-based meat replacements because he believes that soy products are better for the environment and for human health. Go »

Dodgy

"Is that a Dodge Dakota pickup truck? I heard that Native American tribe is really upset at the commercialization of their name." "Yeah. Go »

Everybody Loves George

As long as everyone already knows I'm years behind the rest of the culture, can I recommend That's My Bush! before Dubya actually concludes his presidency? We just finished watching the short series; it starts weak but gets pretty strong by the end. Go »

Snowbound

I'm off to Springfield for the weekend to help Kelly move. YAY SNOW. Back late Monday night. Go »