- Aren't all of these books in the clearance aisles the same ones I saw while Christmas shopping?

- Sarasota must be really obsessed with astrology, Barack Obama, pet psychology, and Eastern cooking. Or the whole country is.

- Is that a Juno songbook in the guitar tablature section? Somebody actually wrote those crappy songs instead of making them up on the fly?

- There's also a Guitar Hero book of guitar tabs. Is it just red-blue-blue-red-green-red-blue-green-red...?

- My back sprain is not as healed as I thought. Thank goodness I'm in a store with chairs.

- Why am I drawn to trivia books? I already knew that flamingos eat with their heads upside down and Bill Clinton was the first left-handed president to serve two terms. I didn't know that Attila the Hun was a dwarf, though.

- The teen books section in three words: Vampires, vampires, vampires.

- Why is there always the same stack of globes in the back of the store? Who buys those? Apparently nobody.

- I know how much of an incredible nerd this makes me sound, but I confess that I was actually drawn to Star Trek Monopoly for a moment. What is wrong with me?


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Illinois 2013: Four Pictures

As a follow-up to my Illinois road trip, here are photos taken at our engagement party. Shown are Kelly and me, Matthew Preston with his wife Liz, and Jackie Mason with her husband Will. I wish that our photographer Lori Lancaster was in one of the shots, but I'm grateful to her for taking the pictures all the same. Go »

Jump to Conclusions

Walking through the store tonight, I came across this product... ...and upon seeing the little girl thinking of all the things she could do with her toy egg, I thought, BACK UP IN YO ASS WITH THE RESURREC-SHUN! Go »

Pass Me the Green, I Need Some Trees with My Tennessee

Kelly and I just took a short vacation to Gatlinburg: Two days there, with two full days of driving to make it happen. We've been itching to get out of the house during this awful pandemic (and to use Kelly's PTO before it expires), but with options limited for places to go safely, we realized that we could rent a cabin with family and just go hiking and birdwatching and grilling, avoiding crowds in favor of natural spaces. Kelly's immediate family from Illinois drove over to join us. Go »

Summer of Suck

It's been a tough summer so far. Here's venting. - Some good people were laid off in my department. Go »

Key Words

I wonder what would come up if you searched IMDb keywords for "train wreck"? Unbreakable? The Fugitive? Go »

Unexpected Easter

This has been an unusual few days. Kelly's father had a stroke on Thursday, so we left town suddenly to see him, ultimately choosing to drive since we can't afford plane tickets on no notice. He's going to be fine; his vision was affected at first but he seems recovered now, pending another examination. Go »