Thoughts from Barnes & Noble
by Scott Hardie on May 24, 2009

- Aren't all of these books in the clearance aisles the same ones I saw while Christmas shopping?
- Sarasota must be really obsessed with astrology, Barack Obama, pet psychology, and Eastern cooking. Or the whole country is.
- Is that a Juno songbook in the guitar tablature section? Somebody actually wrote those crappy songs instead of making them up on the fly?
- There's also a Guitar Hero book of guitar tabs. Is it just red-blue-blue-red-green-red-blue-green-red...?
- My back sprain is not as healed as I thought. Thank goodness I'm in a store with chairs.
- Why am I drawn to trivia books? I already knew that flamingos eat with their heads upside down and Bill Clinton was the first left-handed president to serve two terms. I didn't know that Attila the Hun was a dwarf, though.
- The teen books section in three words: Vampires, vampires, vampires.
- Why is there always the same stack of globes in the back of the store? Who buys those? Apparently nobody.
- I know how much of an incredible nerd this makes me sound, but I confess that I was actually drawn to Star Trek Monopoly for a moment. What is wrong with me?
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

R.I.P. Pat
Kelly's mother passed away last week. The event had been anticipated for decades: Pat was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as a child, suffered kidney failure in 1995 and survived on her brother's donated kidney, and had five strokes and five heart attacks and countless operations, including emergency brain surgery in 2007 that changed her personality. She obviously possessed quite an inner resiliency even if she seemed petite and frail on the outside, but it was inevitable that she would someday lose the fight with her own body. Go »
Meow Mix
Thanks Evgeni: Cat Music. Go »
Day 14
In lieu of "weight loss Wednesday" since I'm much too busy on Wednesdays even to get online, let me write today that I'm on day 14 of a new diet, which is 13 more days than nearly all of my attempts last. This is, in fact, the second-longest I've ever lasted on a diet, and in a few weeks it will be the longest. This should indicate how lousy my self-discipline is and why I've ballooned to this size, around 450 pounds. Go »
Signs of Summer
The recent Florida wildfires have been a nasty reminder (I drove through one burned-down forest and it was a terrible sight), but if you need any more indication that summer is here, just step outside: It's scorching. Apparently one local still didn't think it was hot enough to take precautions, as evidenced by the recent explosion in the parking lot when we pulled into a strip mall for lunch. An entire trailer had burned into ash with only a skeletal frame and two melted tires remaining. Go »
Scottish Highlands
Seeing a man in a kilt, the thought occurred to me, "Ha ha! I wonder if anybody has come up with 'upkilt' porn?" Then I checked online. Go »