Chapter 26: Vancouver
by Deke Bishop
This entry marks the point at which I must say goodbye to Vic Breslin. I do not think that I can truly call him a friend. I have had few friends in this life and the only time I ever saw Vic before all of this was when I needed a drink. And his brother is a drunk, a liar and a psychopath. But he was a good man; he was a better man than I will ever be. I have to say that I will miss him a lot.
With Vic no longer with us, there are times at which I feel more alone than I ever have before. I am completely isolated from my home and I do not think that I will ever return there. But at other times, my new companions feel like a family. I have never had a family, so it is hard for me to get used to the sensation.
Even the new boy, Nannarannarimram or whatever, feels like my brother. When I first met him, I was unsure quite what to make of him. But he has proven himself to be loyal, which is good enough for me. There are times in which he annoys me as much or more than anyone I have ever met, and he does not understand a word I say. It is almost humorous that the fact he turns into a bear is one of the last things that come to mind, I suppose that with all of the things that I have seen, very little can continue to surprise me.
His people in general seem to be of solid standing. They are not the same vicious animals as the apache, and they are mostly alright in my book. It was good to meet some natives that were not savage, it makes me wonder whether there are more tribes that behave like human beings.
I have noticed that I grow more powerful by the day. I am able to transmit my thoughts to other people and bend them to my will. It is difficult to prevent myself from doing this more often, and I have to constantly remind myself to try to use this power for good.
Thinking about what I just wrote, it startles me to realize that I have changed. In my younger days, I did not care about such things and I assumed that anything done for the greater good was okay even if it harmed other people. But this is no longer the case, I find myself trying to rise to the level of my companions, even to the injun boy.
Because of this, I fear what would happen if they ever discovered my former misdeeds. In trying to start a new life, I constantly am haunted by the things that I have done in my old life. And even now, I find that my temper gets the best of me and prevents me from righteousness. I am unsure what the future holds, but at least for now, I feel I have a purpose.