During my visit to Springfield last weekend, Kelly and I went to a historical reenactment on the outskirts of town. Every small city that can do so builds shrines to its homegrown celebrity, but Springfield takes worship of Abraham Lincoln to new levels of ridiculousness. Besides the museum with the ordinary tools used by Lincoln during his early twenties, the historical community had the actual buildings he slept in and worked in. Here's where Abraham Lincoln owned his first business! Here's where he first arrived in Springfield! Woo.

Clearly, Kelly and I need to build our own village and charge admission. Here's where Abraham Lincoln invented the Internet! Here's where Abraham Lincoln defeated Hitler! Here's where Abraham Lincoln produced Let It Be! Here's where Abraham Lincoln taught Copernicus! Here's where Abraham Lincoln built the first mecha!

Kelly, thank you for showing me a great time around town. Next time, you visit Sarasota and I'll show how much John Ringling is worshiped around here.


Six Replies to Abe, Honest

Amy Austin | October 16, 2007
Ha! Just last week, Stephen Colbert was touting Reagan in the time of Lincoln...

the Reagan commemorative coin

Maybe he had just visited Springfield, too.

Lori Lancaster | October 16, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Amy Austin | October 16, 2007
The darkest blonde I know. ;-)

Jackie Mason | October 17, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Lori Lancaster | October 17, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Kris Weberg | October 23, 2007
Try growing up there, Scott.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Pigeon Panic

Since Adrianne doesn't permit replies to her posts, I'll link it here: Poisoned pigeons fall from sky in Texarkana. The chain of events is too bizarre not to reiterate: A pigeon flew into a bank and defecated on a customer, so the bank put poisoned grain on the roof hoping to drive away the pigeons. Instead, dozens of birds flopped dead on the ground downtown – right during the city's annual festival. Go »

Bill$

Saving up is hard to do. I'm spending every dollar I have after the holidays to move Kelly here next week, then we have to move again in two months to a larger place. And I have more than a grand to pay in taxes. Go »

Back in Black

Is it already the end of December? It feels like it's been three days since Thanksgiving. Between late nights at work, holiday parties, and shopping for the big day, this month has been a blur. Go »

Pico de Greedo

On Friday, my company threw a part Mexican, part Star Wars party in celebration of Cinco de Mayo and Star Wars Day ("May the 4th be with you"). It was a weird combination but it worked, with games like a lightsaber piñata bash. Kelly made "lightsabers" (pretzel rods frosted with blue and red frosting), but she really got interested when I mentioned that the salsa contest offered three prizes and only had three teams on the signup sheet. Go »

Feeling Lucky

Yesterday was my 13th anniversary of dating Kelly. We've been through many ups and downs together, and those downs have to do with why we're not married yet, but I love her as much now as I ever have. Here are 13 things that have been a part my life for less time than we've been dating: - The Internet. Go »

Cliché

Mighty Girl found a fun and simple way to make her announcement. Go »