During my visit to Springfield last weekend, Kelly and I went to a historical reenactment on the outskirts of town. Every small city that can do so builds shrines to its homegrown celebrity, but Springfield takes worship of Abraham Lincoln to new levels of ridiculousness. Besides the museum with the ordinary tools used by Lincoln during his early twenties, the historical community had the actual buildings he slept in and worked in. Here's where Abraham Lincoln owned his first business! Here's where he first arrived in Springfield! Woo.

Clearly, Kelly and I need to build our own village and charge admission. Here's where Abraham Lincoln invented the Internet! Here's where Abraham Lincoln defeated Hitler! Here's where Abraham Lincoln produced Let It Be! Here's where Abraham Lincoln taught Copernicus! Here's where Abraham Lincoln built the first mecha!

Kelly, thank you for showing me a great time around town. Next time, you visit Sarasota and I'll show how much John Ringling is worshiped around here.


Six Replies to Abe, Honest

Amy Austin | October 16, 2007
Ha! Just last week, Stephen Colbert was touting Reagan in the time of Lincoln...

the Reagan commemorative coin

Maybe he had just visited Springfield, too.

Lori Lancaster | October 16, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Amy Austin | October 16, 2007
The darkest blonde I know. ;-)

Jackie Mason | October 17, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Lori Lancaster | October 17, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Kris Weberg | October 23, 2007
Try growing up there, Scott.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Bad Housekeeping

If you're lazy like me, there's not a right time to put away the clean dishes. Who cares if you use them one-by-one out of the dishwasher? But there *is* a right time to discover that they're still dirty, and that's long before you're putting away the last couple of items after eating out of the dishwasher for days. Go »

Documenting My Discomfiture

My company hired a new guy to do documentation a few weeks ago, Rajeev. I've seen him walking around talking to the software developers, and attending meetings with managers in glass-walled rooms. I've heard several managers praising Rajeev by name and telling me that we need to get Rajeev to review prior documentation before we begin on projects. Go »

Party Time, Excellent

I rarely enjoy going to parties and I never drink, so it has come as a surprise to me that I have lately developed a love of hosting parties where friends drink. Kelly and I have thrown three parties in three months, each with around 20-25 guests: A Labor Day cookout with swimming in the pool, a Halloween party with costumes and horror games, and a Christmas party with a gift swap. I think we're done for a little while, just to give ourselves a break, because it takes a lot of cleaning and shopping and preparing to throw parties like this. Go »

The News is Scary

Sixth-grader admits stabbing ducks with pencil. Does anyone else read this and think, this kid will grow up to be Jeffrey Dahmer? Vegan parents guilty of murder. Go »

The Serpent

This is the third of four weekly blog posts about diagnoses that have completely changed my life since the pandemic started, after The Dragon and The Tiger. 2020 was hard on all of us. We all lost friends and family. Go »

Upstream Color

Every since seeing the strange and poetic Upstream Color, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I highly recommend it if you're in the mood for something weird and beautiful. After a very limited theatrical release in April, it jumped straight to VOD in May, and now it's on Netflix Streaming and Amazon Instant. Go »