Kelly and I just took a short vacation to Gatlinburg: Two days there, with two full days of driving to make it happen. We've been itching to get out of the house during this awful pandemic (and to use Kelly's PTO before it expires), but with options limited for places to go safely, we realized that we could rent a cabin with family and just go hiking and birdwatching and grilling, avoiding crowds in favor of natural spaces. Kelly's immediate family from Illinois drove over to join us.

I'll get the one negative out of the way first: I didn't get the trip that I agreed to take. We all discussed before booking the trip what our comfort levels were with going out in public, and I was emphatic that I wanted no public contact at all. Just seeing family was all of the risk that I was willing to take. Kelly and I even agreed to leave a day early so that her family could spend the last day shopping. What happened once we got there? Numerous trips to local shops and attractions each day, on top of grocery runs and other assorted exposures. I was livid. I would never have agreed to go on a trip with people who were going out to crowded indoor shops the whole time.

That said, I enjoyed most of the trip. The best activity for me (possibly because I didn't have to drive it) was Cade's Cove, a popular historical area with a driving tour. It's apparently super popular, so it was like sitting in a traffic jam in a forest; signs warned that the 7-mile trip can take up to four hours to complete because of congestion. But the Smoky Mountains are gorgeous up close, and I didn't realize how much I missed fall colors. We saw bears and other wildlife, crossed streams and drove through tunnels and skimmed the edges of ravines, and I found the whole thing very satisfying. I think the traffic-jam aspect of it got on everyone else's nerves, but I was there to relax and it worked.

As for the shopping, the highlights were the world's largest knife store (where Kelly bought a sword) and a fine pottery shop. But seeing family was undoubtedly the best part of the trip: Kicking back for hours just conversing and laughing. We broke open a new Cards Against Humanity expansion and got giggle fits; I badly needed a good, long laugh at this point in 2020. I made a deliberate effort to unplug from the Internet during the trip, especially regarding news, and it was so good for my mood that I plan to continue now that I'm home. I found myself being uncharacteristically short-tempered and emotional in the week before the trip, as this awful year continued taking its toll on me, so a relaxing vacation booked months earlier turned out to be what I needed just in time.


Three Replies to Pass Me the Green, I Need Some Trees with My Tennessee

Matthew Preston | October 18, 2020
Wow, great minds and all that. The family and I just arrived last night in Chattanooga, TN for an extended getaway. We are doing a trip just like you: a cabin in the woods to get out and enjoy nature. Not meeting anyone here though so we can maintain our social distancing level of comfort.

I am so glad to hear that you had a relaxing time! I know you have sacrificed a lot in the name of safety and I’m proud of you guys for being logical. It does take its toll though. Connecting with nature works wonders when you let it.

Scott Hardie | October 18, 2020
Yeah, I underestimate the relaxing qualities of nature, "the peace of wild things" and all. I might try again for such a trip at some point before this pandemic ends.

Have a great trip! Relax and enjoy it.

Steve West | October 18, 2020
The closest I come to camping is the odd occasion when I'm told to sleep on the couch. They're very similar. It's like sleeping in a tent with a very angry bear nearby.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

When Anxieties Attack

It feels weird to write about a fairly minor health incident in my life after someone else on this site just went through a major crisis. But people have been asking since Kelly's cryptic Facebook comment on Tuesday morning and I guess I should explain. I had been working every night last week on a project for work and getting a couple of hours of sleep each night, which turned into an all-weekend thing, and the avalanche of tasks didn't stop when the site launched early Monday morning. Go »

Ten Best of 2006

The feature is done. It was frustrating not being able to see more movies this year, and the brevity of the feature reflects that. Comments about the list, or mentions of your own favorite films last year, are welcome in the replies to this post. Go »

No R'lyeh, I'm Not a Fan

I never thought of myself as a fan of H.P. Lovecraft. I don't think I've read more than a couple of his short stories. Go »

PS3: First Impressions

On Tuesday, which happened to be Denise's birthday (we celebrated the night before), an acquaintance sold me a brand new Playstation 3 and I hit Best Buy to choose carefully from among the whopping half-dozen titles available. When I unpacked the system with a friend, I found it to be much bigger and heavier than I expected, but it's sleek and doesn't have any buttons; you just wave your finger over it to turn it on. The far left edge of the screen is cut off on my TV set, since the system doesn't include any display-centering option, but I hope to figure out a solution. Go »

That's All I Have to Say About That

Remember those somber anti-piracy messages before theatrical movies a couple of years ago? Like the near-weepy set painter whose wife and kids were going to live in the poorhouse if you illegally downloaded The Big Chill? They must have had an effect on me, because instead of sadness or sympathy, they were all I could think about when I read that the make-up artist for Forrest Gump killed herself and her husband. Go »

Heart Burn

The recurring pericarditis that I mentioned elsewhere is now believed by my primary-care doctor to be heartburn or possibly an ulcer. The latter explanation is possible I suppose, but I'm skeptical about the former since it feels less like an acidic burning than like a sharp localized lower-chest pain such as a knife wound or bullet wound. Either way, it still keeps occurring every few weeks, it still hurts like a son of a bitch and keeps me awake all night, and I'm way beyond sick of it happening. Go »