There are some dangerous intersections in our neighborhood, where trucks come barreling through after the light turns red. This morning, Kelly and I were waiting at the light when she dropped her sunglasses. "Fuck beans," she muttered, unbuckling her seat belt and leaning forward just as the light turned green. With trepidation, I glanced both ways, then rolled forward and coasted through the intersection, reaching the other side safely. When she buckled up again and I breathed a sigh of relief, she asked me what was the matter. I told her I had a terrible vision that we would be hit by a truck and her last words on this Earth would be "fuck beans."


One Reply to Crash

Justin Conner | September 12, 2009
Thats Hillarious, I can just picture that whole event.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

February 10-16

I don't really blog much about my day-to-day existence because it feels too mundane. But life is made up of those little days, and we don't get an accurate picture of each other's lives if we only discuss the big events. Here's a snapshot of my life last week. Go »

Upstream Color

Every since seeing the strange and poetic Upstream Color, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I highly recommend it if you're in the mood for something weird and beautiful. After a very limited theatrical release in April, it jumped straight to VOD in May, and now it's on Netflix Streaming and Amazon Instant. Go »

Nuts and Veggies

If you haven't heard, VeggieTales is coming to NBC. Without reference to God. And the creator feels duped. Go »

Flak Album

Lately I've been enjoying Aimee Mann's I'm with Stupid. Oh, how I wish she'd saved that title for a duets album. Go »

Ten Stress-Relieving Tips for Visiting Walt Disney World

I know a few people visiting the self-proclaimed Happiest Place on Earth for the first time in 2008, and I've been there a lot, so here's what I tell them. 1) Go during the off-season: Between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, or between New Years and Valentines Day. The hotels are a fraction of their normal cost, the Florida weather is dry and cool, and best of all, park attendance is at a minimum. Go »

Tom's Ball Smells Like Apple Pie

For the last four months, I've spent Tuesdays at a bowling alley playing in a just-for-fun league. Score was kept, but the mood was friendly and non-competitive, except for one of my teammates who kept competing with us instead of the other teams. :-) I struggled with it at first, partly because I thought I was signing up for a six-week league and it turned out to be a sixTEEN-week league, and partly because my skills had somehow diminished even though I'm in better shape now. Go »