I'd like to think I'm getting better at white elephant games since I play them every December, but evidence proves otherwise: After losing out on a crock pot, a board game, a video game, a sushi kit, a yoga mat, and a nightrobe, I finally took home a Z-grade zombie movie on DVD, and a Ben Franklin t-shirt. Woo! On the other hand, I scored a quesadilla maker at another party that has been pretty good so far. Kelly's been cooking them with pepperoni, mozzarella, and marinara. Those zombies don't know what they're missing.


Eight Replies to De-Gifting

Kelly Lee | December 24, 2008
And I got a Mr. Beer at the first one! Hell yeah!
Well not so much the beer part, but I'm absolutely in love with the idea of making caramel apple cider.

Steve West | December 24, 2008
I would love to get a Mr. Beer. For the beer part.

Tony Peters | December 24, 2008
we got a Chia herb set this year which promptly went into the kitchen window with the Thyme and Marjoram we already had. it was definitely regifted to us there were two layers of wrapping paper.....

Aaron Shurtleff | December 24, 2008
Heh! My wife and I got a wedding gift that had a hand written congratulations note in it that was written for the person who gave it to us. :)

I didn't get to be in our company's white elephant gift exchange this year, because my gift got hijacked by ants the night before the party. >:( But i usually get the worst gift...

Jackie Mason | December 27, 2008
[hidden by author request]

Amy Austin | December 31, 2008
"Hijacked by ants"??? Wow. What kind of suckitude would that entail?

Aaron Shurtleff | December 31, 2008
It was a jelly sampler gift box, and the ants decided to have a party in one of the jars, which was apparently just ever so slightly opened. I couldn't get the offending jar out without opening the package and making it obvious I tampered with it. No one appreciates that in a gift! ;)

Amy Austin | December 31, 2008
Unless you're going for the "worst" gift...


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Neighborhood Botch

I've heard that riding in the front seat of an Uber signals that you want to chat with the driver, and riding in the back seat means that you prefer silence. I always sit in the back. But when I went to catch a ride from my house the other night, there was stuff in the van's back seat, so the front was the only option. Go »

Blood Lines

A few weeks ago, I dropped a glass bottle of salad dressing on the kitchen floor, making the house smell like vinaigrette for a day. Today, I stepped on the last errant bit of glass hiding in a crack of tile by the corner. Better my foot than the cat's paw, I guess; I don't lick between my toes. Go »

Scott's Pet Peeve #2519

Why do some microwaves have a convenient quick-start option if you press 1 or 2 or 3, so that they instantly start cooking with 1:00 or 2:00 or 3:00 on the clock... but DON'T have this same functionality programmed into 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, or 9, which do nothing when pressed alone? How does an engineer possess both the vision to provide the former and the lack of imagination that results in the latter? Go »

Unexpected Easter

This has been an unusual few days. Kelly's father had a stroke on Thursday, so we left town suddenly to see him, ultimately choosing to drive since we can't afford plane tickets on no notice. He's going to be fine; his vision was affected at first but he seems recovered now, pending another examination. Go »

WLW: No Payin', No Gain

My weight loss plan – which has become our weight loss plan, since Kelly intends to do just about everything I do – is on hold until I can recover from the move, which took my last penny and then some. On the bright side, I've been eating less since getting together with Kelly, and I burned what felt like a week's worth of calories during that move. We should start walking soon before we settle into a daily routine. Go »

The Time Has Come

My kingdom for an alarm clock that beeps once, gently, 60 seconds before it really begins going off. That way you're woken up comfortably and given a chance to turn it off, instead of being startled awake by loud shrieking and having to scramble for it. Go »