I'd like to think I'm getting better at white elephant games since I play them every December, but evidence proves otherwise: After losing out on a crock pot, a board game, a video game, a sushi kit, a yoga mat, and a nightrobe, I finally took home a Z-grade zombie movie on DVD, and a Ben Franklin t-shirt. Woo! On the other hand, I scored a quesadilla maker at another party that has been pretty good so far. Kelly's been cooking them with pepperoni, mozzarella, and marinara. Those zombies don't know what they're missing.


Eight Replies to De-Gifting

Kelly Lee | December 24, 2008
And I got a Mr. Beer at the first one! Hell yeah!
Well not so much the beer part, but I'm absolutely in love with the idea of making caramel apple cider.

Steve West | December 24, 2008
I would love to get a Mr. Beer. For the beer part.

Tony Peters | December 24, 2008
we got a Chia herb set this year which promptly went into the kitchen window with the Thyme and Marjoram we already had. it was definitely regifted to us there were two layers of wrapping paper.....

Aaron Shurtleff | December 24, 2008
Heh! My wife and I got a wedding gift that had a hand written congratulations note in it that was written for the person who gave it to us. :)

I didn't get to be in our company's white elephant gift exchange this year, because my gift got hijacked by ants the night before the party. >:( But i usually get the worst gift...

Jackie Mason | December 27, 2008
[hidden by author request]

Amy Austin | December 31, 2008
"Hijacked by ants"??? Wow. What kind of suckitude would that entail?

Aaron Shurtleff | December 31, 2008
It was a jelly sampler gift box, and the ants decided to have a party in one of the jars, which was apparently just ever so slightly opened. I couldn't get the offending jar out without opening the package and making it obvious I tampered with it. No one appreciates that in a gift! ;)

Amy Austin | December 31, 2008
Unless you're going for the "worst" gift...


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Windbag

I don't know what Polaroids he has of whom, but somehow Tom Skilling has elevated himself to some kind of all-important weather-broadcasting god. When I grew up in Chicago, I watched him gradually get a bigger and bigger budget for his animated graphics, and gradually get a larger and larger timeframe to deliver his dull reports. By the time I left town, he had a whole 20 minutes of the hour-long midday newscast for the fucking weather, and boy did he find trivia to fill it: Average dew points across Cook County on this day in 1854, theta-e temperature predictions for every Cubs home game next season, you name it. Go »

Can't Live With Her, Can't Live Without Her

This is the truncated version of a much longer and more ambitious post about my relationships and why I don't blog about them. Let's just leave the reason at "duh." Denise and I tried being friends again after breaking up, but it was based on each of us not saying what we really thought of the other, which is always unwise. Go »

Toothiness, Or: More Bad Dental Humor

You know what company makes my favorite commercials? Oral-B. (link) (link) The camera careens inside the "Oral-B Institute," where a legion of white-coated scientists look sternly at interactive hologram displays and lasers carve out futuristic technology inside reactor chambers. Go »

More Nerd Humor

Thanks, Kelly. Go »

Weight-Loss Wednesday: The Stress Test

Two weeks ago, I wound up in the hospital for what I worried was a heart attack, but turned out to be back spasms caused by too much weight on my frame. Either way, the lesson was ominous: Lose weight, or spend a lot more time in the hospital in the future. I would like to document my progress here on Wednesdays as I undertake this long journey. Go »

Heart Burn

The recurring pericarditis that I mentioned elsewhere is now believed by my primary-care doctor to be heartburn or possibly an ulcer. The latter explanation is possible I suppose, but I'm skeptical about the former since it feels less like an acidic burning than like a sharp localized lower-chest pain such as a knife wound or bullet wound. Either way, it still keeps occurring every few weeks, it still hurts like a son of a bitch and keeps me awake all night, and I'm way beyond sick of it happening. Go »