I'd like to think I'm getting better at white elephant games since I play them every December, but evidence proves otherwise: After losing out on a crock pot, a board game, a video game, a sushi kit, a yoga mat, and a nightrobe, I finally took home a Z-grade zombie movie on DVD, and a Ben Franklin t-shirt. Woo! On the other hand, I scored a quesadilla maker at another party that has been pretty good so far. Kelly's been cooking them with pepperoni, mozzarella, and marinara. Those zombies don't know what they're missing.


Eight Replies to De-Gifting

Kelly Lee | December 24, 2008
And I got a Mr. Beer at the first one! Hell yeah!
Well not so much the beer part, but I'm absolutely in love with the idea of making caramel apple cider.

Steve West | December 24, 2008
I would love to get a Mr. Beer. For the beer part.

Tony Peters | December 24, 2008
we got a Chia herb set this year which promptly went into the kitchen window with the Thyme and Marjoram we already had. it was definitely regifted to us there were two layers of wrapping paper.....

Aaron Shurtleff | December 24, 2008
Heh! My wife and I got a wedding gift that had a hand written congratulations note in it that was written for the person who gave it to us. :)

I didn't get to be in our company's white elephant gift exchange this year, because my gift got hijacked by ants the night before the party. >:( But i usually get the worst gift...

Jackie Mason | December 27, 2008
[hidden by author request]

Amy Austin | December 31, 2008
"Hijacked by ants"??? Wow. What kind of suckitude would that entail?

Aaron Shurtleff | December 31, 2008
It was a jelly sampler gift box, and the ants decided to have a party in one of the jars, which was apparently just ever so slightly opened. I couldn't get the offending jar out without opening the package and making it obvious I tampered with it. No one appreciates that in a gift! ;)

Amy Austin | December 31, 2008
Unless you're going for the "worst" gift...


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Heart Burn

The recurring pericarditis that I mentioned elsewhere is now believed by my primary-care doctor to be heartburn or possibly an ulcer. The latter explanation is possible I suppose, but I'm skeptical about the former since it feels less like an acidic burning than like a sharp localized lower-chest pain such as a knife wound or bullet wound. Either way, it still keeps occurring every few weeks, it still hurts like a son of a bitch and keeps me awake all night, and I'm way beyond sick of it happening. Go »

And If You're Not Careful, You Might Learn Something

Ten things I learned from watching the entire run of The Cosby Show over the last few months on Netflix streaming: - Cliff wasn't the only one who wore wild sweaters. - Seinfeld was celebrated as the "show about nothing," but this show had even less plot. Entire episodes just riffed for twenty minutes on Vanessa fretting over a test or Theo having a crush on a girl, nothing more. Go »

That's All I Have to Say About That

Remember those somber anti-piracy messages before theatrical movies a couple of years ago? Like the near-weepy set painter whose wife and kids were going to live in the poorhouse if you illegally downloaded The Big Chill? They must have had an effect on me, because instead of sadness or sympathy, they were all I could think about when I read that the make-up artist for Forrest Gump killed herself and her husband. Go »

Abortion Aborted

Earlier this week, The Onion published another eyebrow-raiser: Actress' Abortion Written Into TV Show, with a photo of Leah Remini. Later that day, it changed without explanation into the much tamer Apple Unveils New Product-Unveiling Product. (link) Normally they never back down from a legal challenge or controversy, and good taste obviously isn't a factor, so I wonder why they changed the article. Go »

Without Teeth

Turns out I'm not the only one in this household in need of medical attention. I took my cat to the vet for an eye infection, wound up getting her a $500 physical since she's overdue, and the doctor wants to pull her teeth in a few weeks for another $400. He says her teeth and gums are impossibly infected and there's nothing else that can be done now. Go »

The Ten Best Films of 2009 That I Saw

10: Thirst - A priest must cope with having become a vampire. It's a psychological power struggle between two outcasts with their souls on the line. Slow but very methodical in its effect; every moment matters. Go »