Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: I really don't feel like cooking tonight. Is Chick-fil-A okay with you?

me: As long as it's not McDonald's. Chick-fil-A isn't my favorite but at least I know it's chicken.

Brenda: I'm okay with McDonald's. I kinda like their nuggets.

me: At least when I bite a Chick-fil-A nugget I see chicken. I bite a McDonald's nugget and all I see is hair, teeth, skin and bone. There's probably a good dose of squirrel parts and sawdust, too.

Brenda: But Ronald looks so happy serving them to Hamburglar.

me: Hamburglar went for hamburgers, of course - the friggin' thief. I think it's Grimace that gets sentenced to the nuggets. And what kind of name is Grimace, anyway? A grimace is that look on your face when nuggets give you Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Brenda: A nice clown like Ronald wouldn't give you gas on purpose.

me: Oh, really. And what in the history of clowns gives you that impression? I have no doubt that if you dug deep enough you'd find out that Emmet Kelly was a heroin dealer. Bozo was probably an arms merchant.

Brenda: Clowns are not evil - they're charming.

me: John Wayne Gacy dressed up like a clown. Serial killers are even a step lower on the evil heirarchy compared to clowns.

Brenda: Don't worry - I'm not getting McDonald's.

me: Good, 'cause I'd hate to think what my laundry would look like if I contracted Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Brenda: Just remember when you put on any "clean" laundry that yellow goes in front, brown in back.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Adios Por Ahora

So I've dragged my old college spanish texts off the shelf trying to prep for my trip to Spain. Four days in Barcelona and 2 days in Madrid. I should see plenty of the Mediterranean in Barcelona with temperatures in the low eighties the entire time. Go »

Turn Left At Alpha Centauri

So you've been abducted by aliens. How on Earth (literally) are you going to get back home? Fortunately, you are a forward thinker; a planner; an "any room I enter I have an escape route" thinker. Go »

Brenda's Diet Diary

Dear Diet Diary, As a Christmas present this year, my daughter, Lauren (what a thoughtful darling), bought me a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in reasonable shape since being a high school cheerleader 40 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Juan Antonio (ooh what a name) who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. Go »

Bingo!

I just came back from a Daddy/Daughter event at Lauren's school. It was a PTA sponsored Bingo night. Lauren and I spent two hours playing Bingo laughing in frustration about coming so close to winning and just hugging and sharing a good time. Go »

Sometimes Comedy = Pain

Once upon a time, the entire clip of this sketch was available on-line. It's been removed from YouTube but I found it here in a shortened version. It's too bad because the full explanation of what they're doing and why they're doing it makes it that much more enjoyable. Go »

Christmas Post #8: Political Pun Waiting To Happen

Very obvious Hillary pun that still amused me. Hillary nutcracker in action. Check out this site for a lot of clever gifts although you'll have to wade through a lot of truly idiotic stuff as well. Go »