Flight of the Conchords rule!

2 Quarts of Tanning Lotion, Stat!
Lots of stuff spilled in the road by trucks.
These dolls define my childhood heroes.
Week's worth of dumbasses - I'm the crab guy halfway through.
M*A*S*H stars, Where Are They Now? Who knew Loretta Swit was 70? Liar.
Brand names that will soon disappear. K-mart, Old Navy, Motorola, Dodge...
Latest "Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey.
A good friend of mine admitted to wearing dragon's eyes contacts when she was a teenager. "It was a phase I passed through." Now she can relive those awkward teenage years with lots and lots of choices. F/X contacts.
Stand-up of the week: Anjelah Johnson


Three Replies to I'm Down To My Socks... It's Posting Time.

Amy Austin | March 8, 2008
That's it? Aww, yeah, that's it. I hope this doesn't mean that posting hours are over, Steve... ever!

Once again -- in case no one else is as curious enough like I am to read the follow-up comments...
Earth boys are sleazy! (And I'm pretty sure I saw Derek Zoolander's yang-twin in there...)

Steve West | March 8, 2008
That link was just as funny as the one I found. Zoolander, haha!

Amy Austin | March 8, 2008
Going back, it actually appears that there were a few Dereks in there, but I think you know the one I'm talking about, right? Matilda was right there along with him! ;-D

Wow, so my new computer is likely to be one of the last Gateways, huh... that's kind of sad. As are a few others on the list. Ahh... c'est la vie.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

The Cause And The Cure For The Munchies

So, you're an executive pothead sitting around the confernce room table with all the stoner VP's. The discussion centers on marketing a product that, while overtly illegal, has such an upside in monopolizing the market and growth potential. And whose turn is it to change the bong water, anyway? Go »

That Guy With The Glasses

Small representative sample of the films presented "in 5 seconds". Several are inspired by the original joke and many last more than 5 seconds, but all are abridged to hilarious result. These are my favorites: Rocky I, II, III, IV, V, & VI; Scarface; Snakes On A Plane; Titanic; and Gladiator. Go »

I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!

My toaster has a timer on it that let's you know when it's finished. It seems a little silly to add a timer beeping that's a redundant addition to the toast loudly popping up from the machine that means the same thing. So now, because the timer emits a sound eerily similar to an EKG indicating flatline, every time it goes off I'll say to Brenda, "He's bread, Jim." Go »

Lauren the Builder

Here’s a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between my 5-year-old daughter, Lauren, and some construction workers. I embellished it only slightly. It will make you believe that we can all make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time. Go »

It's The Plumber!

The punchline to the old talking parrot joke recently leaped into my mind. Lauren dropped a lipstick tube down her bathroom sink because it has nothing to cover the drain hole. That thing that goes up and down to close the sink drain isn't part of this particular sink. Go »

Fast Food, Clowns & Intestinal Disease

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: I really don't feel like cooking tonight. Is Chick-fil-A okay with you? me: As long as it's not McDonald's. Go »