"You are very generous, and always think of the other fellow."


Four Replies to In Bed

Steve West | October 25, 2009
When Ellen Degeneres finally came out of the closet and announced, "I'm gay," most people responded sarcastically, "Oh, really." Richard Simmons gained some inspiration from her courage and announced to the world that he was "really, really, really, really gay." Welcome to the club, Scott.

Lori Lancaster | October 26, 2009
[hidden by author request]

Jackie Mason | October 26, 2009
[hidden by author request]

Scott Hardie | October 26, 2009
I'm used to fortune cookies lying to me, like "You will live a long and healthy life by eating lots of Chinese food."


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Where the Hell I Have Been All Year, Part II

I have a job! It sounds silly to keep that a secret, and yet I did for two years. I was fearful of being dooced for the slightest remark, since nearly anything can be interpreted as inappropriate with enough reasoning. Go »

Give Me a Little Credit Here

Today's junk-mail pitch from Visa: "Most credit card companies know you as a number. Sean, we know you by name." Go »

Not Exactly Red Hot

Her: "What's that CD you're holding?" Me: "Chili Peppers. I still haven't gotten over their album from last summer." Go »

Gossip Grrr

I didn't mean any harm by it. But I still transgressed against someone I don't even know. My department at work is somewhat isolated, so I don't really know other people in the company well. Go »

I Have Boring Dreams

Real men don't play tennis, and they don't play chess. They play tennis on a giant virtual chessboard where every step of their feet and bounce of the ball instructs the computer where to move the next piece. And they call it chennis. Go »

Mario in Hell

Classic video game fans have been modding their favorite programs for years to make insanely weird and difficult levels. What does it sound like to play Super Mario Bros. in Hell? Go »