"You are very generous, and always think of the other fellow."


Four Replies to In Bed

Steve West | October 25, 2009
When Ellen Degeneres finally came out of the closet and announced, "I'm gay," most people responded sarcastically, "Oh, really." Richard Simmons gained some inspiration from her courage and announced to the world that he was "really, really, really, really gay." Welcome to the club, Scott.

Lori Lancaster | October 26, 2009
[hidden by author request]

Jackie Mason | October 26, 2009
[hidden by author request]

Scott Hardie | October 26, 2009
I'm used to fortune cookies lying to me, like "You will live a long and healthy life by eating lots of Chinese food."


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Signs of Summer

The recent Florida wildfires have been a nasty reminder (I drove through one burned-down forest and it was a terrible sight), but if you need any more indication that summer is here, just step outside: It's scorching. Apparently one local still didn't think it was hot enough to take precautions, as evidenced by the recent explosion in the parking lot when we pulled into a strip mall for lunch. An entire trailer had burned into ash with only a skeletal frame and two melted tires remaining. Go »

It's a Small World

Somehow "small" doesn't do Earth justice. (link) Go »

Protecting the Children

"Oh yeah, well you can suck my anus!" "Dude, watch your language! There are kids around." Go »

Jeffrey Katzenberg is a Crazy Person

I'm no fan of 3-D. I have lazy eye, which makes my right eye blurry and my left eye sharp. During a normal movie, I usually sit up front to be absorbed in the picture so that it doesn't matter, or if I sit in the back, I can concentrate to correct my vision. Go »

2012

What a great year. Kelly and I got engaged. Kelly gained permanent employment and health benefits. Go »

A Friend Received This Fortune in His Fortune Cookie

"Wow! A secret message from your teeth." Go »