Lauren the Builder
by Steve West on September 13, 2022

Here’s a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between my 5-year-old daughter, Lauren, and some construction workers. I embellished it only slightly. It will make you believe that we can all make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.
We lived in a house next to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. Lauren naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them “gems-in-the-rough”, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. Lauren took this home to Brenda who suggested that she take her $10 “pay” to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked Lauren how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. She proudly replied, “I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.”
“Oh, my goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”
Lauren replied, “I will, if those assholes at Lowe’s ever deliver the damn sheet rock.”
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Santa Claus Can Kiss My Ass
That title is almost blasphemous in the American belief system, I know. We took the girls to a local ice cream store, Coldstone's, to get ice cream and to see and get a photograph taken with Santa. It occured to me that Santa gets a lot of credit for stuff that I do and provide. Go »
Worst. Playground Toys. Ever.
"Mommy! Mommy! Can I crawl up the elephant's butt? Go »
Odds & Ends
Yesterday, Lauren and I went to Toby's Dinner Theatre for her birthday and saw Happy Days, the musical. I was never a big fan of the series but had seen enough of it to get the inside jokes and references to the old sitcom. A few of the groaners included not seeing Chuck for a few years now, the Fonz not being the same since he jumped the shark and Richie commenting on his usual ability to solve problems in just one-half hour. Go »
What'd I Step In?
Things stuck to the bottom of my internet shoe. Things not to do while wearing briefs made of beef jerky. (Besides wearing briefs made of beef jerky) Venezuelans believe children should not watch The Simpsons, offer more wholesome fare instead. Go »
Great Moments In Sign Hacking
If only I had had my camera... The Washington Beltway is similar to other major national highways in that it has several LED signs displaying messages to commuters. Silver alerts, orange alerts, missing children BOLOs, etc. Go »