Lauren the Builder
by Steve West on September 13, 2022
Here’s a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between my 5-year-old daughter, Lauren, and some construction workers. I embellished it only slightly. It will make you believe that we can all make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.
We lived in a house next to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. Lauren naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them “gems-in-the-rough”, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. Lauren took this home to Brenda who suggested that she take her $10 “pay” to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked Lauren how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. She proudly replied, “I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.”
“Oh, my goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”
Lauren replied, “I will, if those assholes at Lowe’s ever deliver the damn sheet rock.”
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Pass the Ketchup
This heavily rehearsed Go »I'd Pick The Kitty
This is supposedly a real newspaper clipping although I can find no reference to which paper it is and is therefore suspicious. I choose to believe it is real so I can enjoy the joke more. Go »I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!
My toaster has a timer on it that let's you know when it's finished. It seems a little silly to add a timer beeping that's a redundant addition to the toast loudly popping up from the machine that means the same thing. So now, because the timer emits a sound eerily similar to an EKG indicating flatline, every time it goes off I'll say to Brenda, "He's bread, Jim." Go »Dumb Celebrity Quotes
Anyone can say something stupid every once in a while, of course. But the celebrities featured on this website sure seem to make a habit of it. Only one quote per customer but they probably make up the usual suspects in the dumb quote hall of shame. Go »Information, Please...
Shortly after I obtained my driver's license, I got brave enough to travel a longer distance than the liquor store. I headed to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to visit the historic battlefield. I had always been a Civil War nut (short of reenactments) and Antietam I had seen recently (someone else drove). Go »
