The Reunion
by Steve West on February 2, 2022
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?”
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy from way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. Hmmm…or could he????
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Surrattsville Senior High School.
“Yes, yes, I did! I’m a Hornet,” he gleamed with pride.
“When did you graduate?” I asked.
He answered, “In 1979. Why do you ask?”
“You were in my class!” I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then that ugly, old, wrinkled sumbitch asked, “What did you teach?”
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
At 11:00 a.m., Brenda called me from the school where she works and told me that she had fallen and was unable to drive home. She needed me to 1) find a second driver for her car, 2) come get her and take her to urgent care and 3) make sure that Olivia is taken care of when she arrives home in an hour. Go »Tattooing's Last Frontier
Aside from internal organs, there doesn't seem to have been any body part un-tattooed except for the eyeball. Until now. Colored contact lenses weren't good enough for this guy and I really expect him to be the first guy with a spleen tattoo. Go »Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 3
Another small collection of weird legal matters. Yeah research, that's the ticket; Too manly for the ladies' room; Chi-tonw blues; Cat's got yer what?; and finally, I have no idea what it's like to be busted for DUI, taken for mugshots wearing a shirt displaying my love for midget sex, and then being forever haunted by that image surfacing on the internet, but I know who to ask. Go »The Bus Stops Here
In Slapshot, Paul Newman encourages the minor league hockey team he captains to play like goons. The team begins to have some success and the driver of the team bus joins in the spirit of gooniness. Paul Newman approaches him while he is proceeding to smack the exterior of the bus with a sledge hammer and inquires as to what he is doing. Go »Oscars 2012
Now that I can make no further changes to my picks, I'd like to hear about the categories people wrestled with most. I struggled most with costume, documentary and even adapted screenplay. Goodl luck everyone! Go »
