Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?”
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy from way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. Hmmm…or could he????
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Surrattsville Senior High School.
“Yes, yes, I did! I’m a Hornet,” he gleamed with pride.
“When did you graduate?” I asked.
He answered, “In 1979. Why do you ask?”
“You were in my class!” I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then that ugly, old, wrinkled sumbitch asked, “What did you teach?”


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

The Cause And The Cure For The Munchies

So, you're an executive pothead sitting around the confernce room table with all the stoner VP's. The discussion centers on marketing a product that, while overtly illegal, has such an upside in monopolizing the market and growth potential. And whose turn is it to change the bong water, anyway? Go »

Double Talk with a Forked Tongue

I've decided that from now on, I'm going to answer every question like a presidential candidate. Friend (voter): "Steve, what are you gonna do this weekend?" Me (blahblahblah): "That's a great question and an important one. Go »

Killer Home Decor (Literally)

From chalk outline welcome doormats to dead horse head pillows à la The Godfather (with protruding tongue, no less), this website features decorations to give your home that perfect serial killer feel. I especially like the pooling blood carpet. Go »

7-Eleven's Legacy

Aside from selling lottery tickets, 7-Eleven stores are recognizable by two products; Slurpees and Big Gulps. All, I mean all, of their food products should have E. Coli warnings on them and an ingredients list that says "some kind of meat, we think". Go »

Which Underwear?

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: A friend of mine lost his wife a few years ago. He's not that old and dreaded entering the dating scene again but he was growing a little lonely. Brenda: Good for him - fingers crossed. Go »

Dog Lovers Unite

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: I watched the neighbor's dog for an hour the other day. Brenda: That was nice of you. Me: I let him off the leash and a cop came up to me a few minutes later and said my dog has been seen chasing a guy on a bicycle. Go »