I never thought of myself as a fan of H.P. Lovecraft. I don't think I've read more than a couple of his short stories. Mostly, I respected him from a distance as an influential American writer.

But after I worked some Lovecraftian plot elements into Gothic Earth, and I watched several movies adapted from his stories, and I spent a day playing a huge board game based on his work, a friend sincerely remarked that I would like a certain other thing related to Lovecraft because I'm such a huge fan of his work. Perhaps I am a fan after all, or perhaps his work is just everywhere. I have no particular interest in vampires -- if anything, I'm tired of them -- but I have included them in Gothic Earth and played board game based on them and seen them in movies.

I guess it's a question of identity: Do I merely like something, or do I like something so much that I become "a fan," which makes it a part of who I am? I don't "like" very many things on Facebook because I don't want to feel reduced to such simple attributes, or to declare a piece of pop culture to be so important to me that it's a part of me. And that's a sort of lie, because some pop culture IS a part of me; I can name a dozen books and movies and shows off the top of my head that have influenced my personality and worldview and creative process.

Back when punk bands used to turn up often in Rock Block on this site, Steve Dunn used to call me a fan of punk music. I'm not, at all, and I never found out whether Steve was sincerely mistaken or messing with me; I gave up and played along as if he was kidding. Perhaps it's the lack of any declaration of fandom that led him to fill in the gap with an observation about what I seemed to like, and it's the same with my Lovecraft-minded friend more recently. If we don't take control of our identity, we let others define us, even if it's something as trivial as our feelings about a particular piece of culture.


Three Replies to No R'lyeh, I'm Not a Fan

Lori Lancaster | May 23, 2013
[hidden by author request]

Tony Peters | May 23, 2013
In Highschool I read everything he wrote and made yearly pilgrimages to his grave in Providence (its very understated). The one story I really want to see as a movie is "At the mountains of Madness"

Scott Hardie | May 27, 2013
Good point about waiting in line, Lori. A friend of mine said yesterday, "I've never bought tickets to anything months in advance. I've never camped out on the sidewalk. I've never gone to a midnight premiere of a movie. Getting up in the middle of the night to watch Arrested Development's fourth season on Netflix is all I have. Let me enjoy it!"


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

R.I.P. Mom

You were so still in your bed when I could finally sit down beside you, a few hours after the facility notified me that you had died. I hadn't seen you be that peaceful in years, your eyes not scanning the room for clues, your hands not turning over each object in front of you for endlessly repeated examination. I whispered to you the most urgent and most precious things I had to say, the secrets and atonements and wishes foremost on my mind. Go »

WLW: Can't

"Can't" is a word that fat people tell ourselves a lot after so many failed diets: We can't lose the weight, we can't succeed. Hearing it from a doctor would seem inconsequential. But it still hurts. Go »

Parking Lot Pun

Overheard from an elderly woman whose groceries were being lifted into her trunk by a teenaged boy: "When you're as old as I am, the world is your hoister." Go »

Pandora

[This post wound up being very long-winded and self-absorbed, but that's what blogs are for, I guess.] For years, I've gotten increasingly picky about how I listen to music. Sometimes I just want to listen to everything I have on shuffle, but sometimes I want to get more specific like only music from one genre on shuffle or all songs by one artist in chronological order, and sometimes I want to get really specific, like songs about dreams or artists from Michigan or recordings featuring violins. Go »

Emails!

Does the Internet baffle you? Try Gabe & Max's Internet Thing. Thanks, Marlon. Go »

Garfunkel and Oates

Kelly and I had a good time last night taking out two old friends for their birthdays to see Garfunkel and Oates in Tampa. I'm only familiar with the duo's songs, so it was refreshing that only maybe a third of the show consisted of music. The rest was stand up comedy, storytelling, audience interaction, and a weird extended commercial for their sponsor Monster Energy Drink, tall boys of which were being handed out for free, because that's just what my heart needs at ten o'clock at night. Go »