Roller Coaster
by Scott Hardie on February 18, 2010
Our lives have had lots of ups and downs lately. I'd blog about each of these separately if I could.
DOWN - Kelly is laid off again. We were already planning to tighten our belt and this just gives us more incentive to save, so maybe we can turn this into a positive, but it sure sucks not having enough money to pay the bills. Fortunately, my food costs are minimal these days. We're living on $250 a week for groceries and personal expenses, putting everything else towards bills and savings. If we can stick with it, we'll be into a cheaper home in the summer and have the credit card paid off by the end of the year, which will give us more breathing room, but I hope we never stop saving again.
UP - The diet is going well. Today is my personal record, day 46, the longest I've ever gone on a diet. I've lost three pant sizes and they're still getting looser. However, I do find myself cheating too much for fairly flimsy reasons; tonight we wanted to meet a friend for dinner and remembered liking an Italian restaurant in his neighborhood and I had two plates at the cheap buffet line. But I'm still committed to this, and I'm finding a pretty good balance at ~1000 calories a day most days. I have a lot more energy and find myself zipping around stores and hopping around the apartment. However, I'm suffering constant pain, in the form of muscle aches and especially headaches that torment me daily.
DOWN - Our cat is dying. She's had hyperthyroidism for 18 months and is down to 5.0 pounds from a high of 12.7 pounds. For a while, she just kept slowly deteriorating, eventually getting to a point a few weeks ago where she was throwing up daily, not using the litter box, not eating, howling 24/7, and more. The vet gave her lots of expensive medication that has those other symptoms partially under control (our dining room is still her bathroom), but it's pretty clear she only has a few months left at best. I thought she was 9 years only and I had more time with her, but I've recently found out that she's more like 15, which explains a lot.
UP - This is really lame coming right after "our cat is dying," but I'm a fanboy and I confess that I'm stoked about Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, as stoked as I've been about anything in years. I spent four hours on Saturday just savoring the double-length premiere and watching bonus videos online and reading articles and immersing myself in my favorite show. It's been on for 10 years and it's still as great as it ever was. If you ever liked the show and drifted away, watch the first ten minutes of the season premiere at cbs.com and feel the thrill again.
DOWN - I'm thrilled for Matthew's wedding last week, but seeing the photos on Facebook reminded me why I felt so bad to have to miss it in the first place: It's forever. This isn't like missing Christmas or a summer vacation where you can just make up for it later. My best friend of fourteen years got married, and I couldn't be there with him, and I will never get another chance. This doesn't take anything away from how good I feel for him, and I'll get over it, but right now it's pretty damn depressing.
UP - My projects are going great, suffering only a lack of time for me to do more. I'm shopping some great venues for this fall's GooCon and negotiating with the managers, and hearing hopeful things about new attendees this time. I've got a devilishly tricky plan for this year's Rock Block tournament and some new rules in mind. Gothic Earth is about to get some new players and keeps growing bigger and better. I'm also in the early stages of a new game and a whole new site that you'll like, but I have to take one thing at a time. I do these things in part to keep myself busy, and boy are they working.
Three Replies to Roller Coaster
Scott Hardie | February 22, 2010
Thanks for the support, Jackie and people who wrote to me in private. Kelly and I can handle the money being tight for as long as we have to, we're sadly used to that by now, but I'm worried about Kelly finding any job down the road in this economy, and about her sanity being cooped up in the apartment day in day out. However many months it will be until she finds work again, it will feel like many more.
There's not much to say about the cat, except that we're trying to enjoy the time that we have left with her, as morbid as that feels. She was fat for many years, but now she's skin and bones. I tried to get pictures to illustrate this, but her present skinniness isn't really apparent on camera (what do they say about the camera adding ten pounds?):
I'm dealing with the lack of food ok so far, and it helps that I genuinely like Lean Cuisine and Diet Coke and would happily consume them even if I weren't dieting. I'd like to drop the soda, but I need the caffeine to get past the light-headedness, and hey, one thing at a time here. I'm taking a daily multivitamin, which may or may not be doing anything; I have no way to tell.
Amy Austin | February 23, 2010
Sorry to take a while in getting around to responding, Scott, but... well, sometimes my thoughts is the best I can do. Whether you know it or not, you and Kellie are in them, and you should know from my current and past experiences how sympathetic I am to these situations. Still in the realm of the seriously worried and unemployed myself, you know... and I cannot even fathom how I'd be able to cope with terminal pets on top of that right now -- so sorry for that.
While I'm sorry that you're having to cinch the wallets and belts right now (literally!)... I am glad for you both that you at least have each other -- that is no small thing!!! But... glad to hear, on the other hand, that you are becoming a smaller thing every day -- that is awesome... as is the improved energy and mobility you're experiencing!!! I know the other things you mention must be a great discomfort to you... but I am sure that once you reach your target weight goal, you will start to level out. And it's good that you aren't trying to deprive yourself all at once, either -- you are right to recognize the benefit of staying a bit caffeinated for the time being... it should also help with the headaches as well. Might sound weird -- I hope not -- but I, for one, am very proud of your progress thus far... keep it up! :-)
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The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »
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