I am getting so sick of commuter traffic. Forbes magazine has Washington, DC listed as #3 on the Texas Transportation Institute's Worst Cities for Traffic list and I can't disagree. The bulk of that rating comes from the deteriorating infrastructure within the city which doesn't affect me much. But the part that does affect me is the traffic in the surrounding streets like the Beltway and major arteries that are clogged with the traffic unable to penetrate the DC Star Wars traffic defense system. My commute which could previously be measured in small fractions of hours (45 minutes on a really bad day) is now routinely that, and on bad days now is well over an hour.

How much construction is required on the same two mile stretch of road? Why is lane widening and expansion happening on the outbound roads instead of inbound? Why is that pothole with the car sticking out of it ignored for so long? I'm exaggerating a little, of course. But not by much. A recent commute truly took me two hours and we're talking a distance of only 13 miles. Scott's CD of the 500 greatest songs in rock history has saved my sanity on more than one occasion. I'm actually starting to like Dylan. Go figure. Telecommuting is sure looking more and more attractive after breathing exhaust fumes for an hour, daily. That must be why I voted for Bush. I was loopy on carbon monoxide.


Two Replies to The Colossus Of Roads

Steve West | October 9, 2009
In re-reading this post, I can see how this can be interpreted as a desire to compare traffic horror stories. That wasn't the intent. We all have traffic issues in some capacity. This was a need of mine to vent on my peccadillo of the day. Friggin' traffic.

Jackie Mason | October 11, 2009
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Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

The Bus Stops Here

In Slapshot, Paul Newman encourages the minor league hockey team he captains to play like goons. The team begins to have some success and the driver of the team bus joins in the spirit of gooniness. Paul Newman approaches him while he is proceeding to smack the exterior of the bus with a sledge hammer and inquires as to what he is doing. Go »

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Sometimes Comedy = Pain

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Christmas Post #10: SNL Parody Inspires Product

I don't know if the SNL commercial parody for a product called "Ass Don't Smell" inspired the inventors of this product but the connection in my mind cracks me up. Meeting all of your body odor needs. I couldn't find the original sketch but here's a parody of the parody, I think. Go »