Sixth-grader admits stabbing ducks with pencil. Does anyone else read this and think, this kid will grow up to be Jeffrey Dahmer?

Vegan parents guilty of murder. It's a sad incident, but a mistake's a mistake. With two automatic life sentences, shouldn't they have gone for negligent homicide or manslaughter?

Students attend school's first integrated prom. Is there a quote in this story that gives the impression the community has fully faced and dealt with the racism in their community? Changing the school's custom doesn't make the past go away.

It's a wrap. You're hired! Video resumes are the depressing new fad. So people can't even be bothered to read resumes any more? What's next, picking up an item of food at the grocery store wondering if it's nutritious, and having a pre-recorded person on a monitor read off to you the calories and other statistics?


Two Replies to The News is Scary

Jackie Mason | May 5, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Anna Gregoline | May 8, 2007
Those vegan parents? How can you watch your kid get thinner and sicker and sicker and not try and make them better? The article says the baby got down the 3lbs 8ozs!


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Neighborhood Botch

I've heard that riding in the front seat of an Uber signals that you want to chat with the driver, and riding in the back seat means that you prefer silence. I always sit in the back. But when I went to catch a ride from my house the other night, there was stuff in the van's back seat, so the front was the only option. Go »

alt.tv.bitchbitchbitch

Continuing in my tradition of discussing pop culture 5-to-10 years after its shelf life: Once upon a time, I was an enormous fan of ER. From the time I started watching early in season one, I didn't miss a single first-run broadcast until I finally stopped watching late in season five. I learned the medical jargon; I memorized every minor character's name; I speculated about and debated the future plotlines endlessly. Go »

#FFFFFF

I love how MSNBC.com's new slogan is "A Fuller Spectrum of News," complete with online ads featuring brilliant rainbows, and yet their entire site design is plain white except for one strip of blue across the top. (link) If I didn't give up reading it years ago because the entertainment section is spoiler city, I'd give it up today because I can't stand to look at it. Go »

Trial of the Century

I served on my first jury last week, for the gripping case of the Walmart Protein Bar Bandit, accused of a $1.46 theft. Voir dire was oddly focused on whether grazing (eating groceries before you pay for them) was acceptable, whether eating protein right after a workout is important, and whether any of us had strong feelings about the Walmart corporation. Go »

Breaking Monopoly

My latest pastime has been seeing if I can rig a video game of Monopoly to give me infinite money. It turns out that I can, but it's incredibly tedious, far more so than I thought. I like to play with the NES version, because it's just colorful and fun enough without being too sophisticated in its AI. Go »

Day 14

In lieu of "weight loss Wednesday" since I'm much too busy on Wednesdays even to get online, let me write today that I'm on day 14 of a new diet, which is 13 more days than nearly all of my attempts last. This is, in fact, the second-longest I've ever lasted on a diet, and in a few weeks it will be the longest. This should indicate how lousy my self-discipline is and why I've ballooned to this size, around 450 pounds. Go »