Tom's Ball Smells Like Apple Pie | Tragic Comedy

For the last four months, I've spent Tuesdays at a bowling alley playing in a just-for-fun league. Score was kept, but the mood was friendly and non-competitive, except for one of my teammates who kept competing with us instead of the other teams. :-)

I struggled with it at first, partly because I thought I was signing up for a six-week league and it turned out to be a sixTEEN-week league, and partly because my skills had somehow diminished even though I'm in better shape now. I used to be a halfway decent bowler, earning 120-150 points per game, but in this league I was averaging 70-90 points per game and throwing a lot of gutterballs. It took me a month to make peace with the fact that I was just a worse bowler now, at which point I relaxed and started having more fun with it, although I did eventually get back up to my usual scores in the last few games. Instead of focusing on the points, I set a more modest goal of throwing at least one strike per night, which I managed to pull off every time. My best night saw maybe six strikes. At no point did anyone else in the league approach Chris's level; I think the highest score that I saw was around 245.

It was good to spend time with these guys. It started as a "work league" with two friends from my company, Joandy and Tom, plus Tom's partner Mark as our fourth player. Tom is a more serious bowler who I can tell has played for many years (he's the one who earned that 245 score), while Joandy is a competitive joker who can't help but kid everyone about their scores (and himself on the rare nights when he bowls badly), and Mark is a relaxed and friendly presence. Injuries and a pre-existing condition took a toll on Mark over the season, so Kelly took Mark's place on the team for the final month and was thrilled to get out and get exercise. She would have kept playing with Joandy and Tom in the fall league, but she's going to be busy working overtime. As for me, I'm opting out of future seasons to spend my Tuesdays on long-ignored projects, including a board-game meetup group that I really miss, since I haven't seen them since before the wedding. I had a good time bowling, though, and I'm glad that I did this.

The title of this blog post was my proposed (and rightly rejected) name for the team, which was said aloud on the first night. When Tom originally bought a bowling ball at the pro shop, they offered to make it a scented ball, and for whatever reason, he chose apple pie over other scents. We had fun trying to get Kelly to sniff his ball the first time she played: "No way! I know how guys do that! His ball stinks like sweat or something, and you're telling me that it smells like apple pie so that I'll put my face up to it and sniff, and then you'll laugh at me!" No, really: As creepy as it sounds, Tom's ball really does smell like apple pie.

Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Survivor Guilty

As a longtime Survivor viewer, I've been bothered by its slow decline. Some of the show's problems are apparent on its surface, like Jeff Probst's appalling gender bias and the show's overemphasis on tacky "themes" for the season. But I got to thinking about what's wrong under the surface, on a conceptual level. Go »

The Tiger

This is the second of four weekly blog posts about diagnoses that have completely changed my life since the pandemic started, after The Dragon. Last week, I wrote about my liver disease, which doesn't have any direct, detectable signs. It's not as if I feel any pain in my liver, or that I can sense that it's not working in the same way that I could tell right away if, say, my eyes stopped working or my lungs stopped working. Go »

Hungry Hungry Kitty

When you want your dinner, you want your dinner: (link) I do the same thing at China Buffet when they try to take the chicken lo mein off the line. Go »

Unmitigated Gall

Life gets unpleasant quickly when your gallbladder stops working. TMI alert. I spent all day Friday with sharp pain in my abdomen, diagnosed as spasms from my gallbladder trying to expel a stone. Go »