Weekend Grocery Shopping Equals...
by Steve West on February 26, 2010
... another encounter with Ugly On A Stick.
I had no idea she was even there until she went out of her way to shout, 'HiiiIIIiiiii' from an aisle away. It took me a few seconds to recognize that she was directing this towards me. I politely nodded back in her direction (always the gentleman) but initiated an avoidance maneuver by taking a hard left down the juice aisle. Avoiding is only delayed since she has the only register open for those of us with more than 10 items. It went something like this:
UOAS: Vegetable crackers? I mean, vegetables are actually in the crackers? That seems kinda lazy.
Me: Actually it's efficient. And I'm told they're brain food.
UOAS: Really?
Me: Yeah, my daughter eats them all the time. Eight years old and she reads Proust at bedtime.
UOAS (eyeing the small amount of grapes I chose): That's not a lot of grapes. Doesn't seem worth it.
Me: Actually, if my daughter eats too many she gets flatulent.
UOAS: What's flatulent?
Me: Cranky.
UOAS: Yeah, I get flatulent after a long shift.
Me: I have no doubt.
UOAS (Eyeing my coupons): I don't use coupons. It's too hard to keep straight how many items I have to buy to use them and I keep forgetting the expiration dates.
Me: I recommend the vegetable crackers.
So, shopping on Fridays goes on the same blacklist as Saturdays. Forewarned is forearmed as the quote goes.
Three Replies to Weekend Grocery Shopping Equals...
Scott Hardie | February 27, 2010
If shitmydadsays can become a sitcom, I'm sure this series can too. Good stuff.
Lori Lancaster | March 3, 2010
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Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Real Baseball
I took the girls to a minor league baseball game last night. It was Autism Awareness night at the Bowie Baysox game which was the incentive for Brenda and I to go. The girls actually enjoyed the game for the first few innings but were more interested in the foods, carousel, moon bounce and face painting. Go »Compassion
I haven't posted since the incident in January and used that time to do a lot of soul-searching. A lot of it was fruitless. I told my boss' boss of the circumstances behind my asking for a day off because my boss was vacationing at the time. Go »ML8 ML8
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Recent conversation with Brenda (after hearing All I Want for Christmas... again): Me: Mariah Carey beginning with "I don't want a lot for Christmas..." and then revealing she wants "you" is kind of a burn, Brenda: She could mean that she doesn't want a lot of other gifts and only wants her man friend. Go »
Matthew Preston | February 27, 2010
LOL, and I don't use that acronym very often. I just bust out laughing at this post Steve to which my wife called out from downstairs, "What's so funny?!"