I know a few people visiting the self-proclaimed Happiest Place on Earth for the first time in 2008, and I've been there a lot, so here's what I tell them.

1) Go during the off-season: Between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, or between New Years and Valentines Day. The hotels are a fraction of their normal cost, the Florida weather is dry and cool, and best of all, park attendance is at a minimum. You can see every ride and attraction with virtually no wait.

2) Stay in a Disney resort, if you don't mind paying extra. You get curbside access to Disney's omnipresent bus service, which ferries you around the World without you needing a map or hiking in from every parking lot. You can also have every souvenir purchase sent to your hotel's front desk for pickup in the morning, so you don't have to lug it around. The All-Star resorts are cheapest and more than adequate for a few nights' stay.

3) Check in the night before and check out the day after. Sending purchases to your hotel only works this way. A day at any park is exhausting and you don't want to add an hour or more fussing with the hotel or driving around, early in the morning or late at night. It's worth the extra cost.

4) Bring breakfast to your hotel room: Bagels, donuts, breakfast bars, fruit that won't spoil. Eating breakfast after you get to the park wastes an hour, and morning hours are the best time. Be at the park when the gates open for zero waiting in line.

5) Make advance reservations for lunch and dinner at the table-service restaurants and buffets in the parks (1-800-wdw-dine). As long as you have a reservation, the staff doesn't care what time you show up, even more than an hour off the mark. You'll get the next table while other people are turned away because the restaurant is full for the night.

6) Ask for your bill when the food is placed in front of you, and plunk down your credit card as soon as the bill arrives. The waiter will be miffed, but the point is that you can get up and leave as soon as you're done eating. There's Disney World outside; who wants to sit around?

7) On the other hand: Sit as often as possible, especially if you're older or obese, at least 5 minutes every hour. Waiting around while your companion rides a coaster, or shops, or goes to the restroom? Sit down. There are benches everywhere. It's the difference between feet that are screaming in pain by dusk, and feet that are happy to keep going hours after the park closes. If you're splitting up and deciding where to meet each other later, meet at a bench.

8) Plan in advance what attractions you will see, list them in geographical order (clockwise or counter around each circular park), and stick to it. It's human nature to want spontaneity on your vacation, but there isn't enough time in the day to see everything, and you wouldn't believe how much time is wasted without a plan, arguing over the map after every attraction and backtracking all over the place. Your list doesn't have to be ironclad and you will deviate from it sometimes, but embrace the list and you'll fit a great deal more into your day than you would without it.

9) You only need two sources: The official site, where you can create your attractions itinerary and book everything but the meals, and this guide, the best on the market. You only need to bother with the relevant chapters, so it's quick reading. It's written for summertime visitors so it often mentions long lines, but you're smart and visiting in mid-January when there are no lines, aren't you?

10) Sign up for the Disney photo pass service by talking to any staff photographer stationed at scenic points around the parks. Each one will take a high-quality photo of you and store the image digitally, and you can retrieve all the photos at DisneyPhotoPass.com after you get home, where you can order prints. No lugging around a camera. You can also save the "omigod" shots surreptitiously taken of you on the roller coasters.


Two Replies to Ten Stress-Relieving Tips for Visiting Walt Disney World

Amy Austin | January 6, 2008
GREAT advice list, Scott... I'd say that you should make a buck by trying to get that printed in some publication, but... that kind of ruins that special "I'm in the know" secret feeling, doesn't it... ;-)

Jackie Mason | January 7, 2008
[hidden by author request]


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Party Time, Excellent

I rarely enjoy going to parties and I never drink, so it has come as a surprise to me that I have lately developed a love of hosting parties where friends drink. Kelly and I have thrown three parties in three months, each with around 20-25 guests: A Labor Day cookout with swimming in the pool, a Halloween party with costumes and horror games, and a Christmas party with a gift swap. I think we're done for a little while, just to give ourselves a break, because it takes a lot of cleaning and shopping and preparing to throw parties like this. Go »

What I Did on My Christmas Vacation

The last week and a half was some of the most fun I've had in a long time, and a much-needed vacation. I tend to take many short weekend trips each year rather than one long break, but it feels so good to be rejuvenated and rested for a change. "Christmas" came on Sunday the 23rd, dinner with my mom and Santa's usual generosity all around. Go »

alt.tv.bitchbitchbitch

Continuing in my tradition of discussing pop culture 5-to-10 years after its shelf life: Once upon a time, I was an enormous fan of ER. From the time I started watching early in season one, I didn't miss a single first-run broadcast until I finally stopped watching late in season five. I learned the medical jargon; I memorized every minor character's name; I speculated about and debated the future plotlines endlessly. Go »

Eschew Obfuscation

For any FIN players wondering where in the hell the game is: I used my little free time over last weekend writing a mini-post – three whopping paragraphs – and at the end of the weekend I just couldn't bear to publish it so short. (The title of this post was the planned title of that post.) I have now rearranged my social so that weekends are more free, and one thing I plan to do with the time is resume writing FIN, starting this weekend by expanding my three paragraphs into more like three pages. Go »

Not-So-Confidential to My Gaming Group

I started writing this out in an email reply to John Gunter, but I guess it should be shared. I miss gaming with you guys, but I'm on the fence about continuing. I like each of you guys a great deal, but when we're together I just don't feel the click of a connection like I used to. Go »

The Dragon

This is the first of four weekly blog posts about diagnoses that have completely changed my life since the pandemic started. Let's get the gravest one out of the way first. Until recently, I never appreciated how essential the future was to your mental health. Go »