Det är inte så farligt
by Scott Hardie on May 3, 2009

Yesterday, Kelly and I joined friends who had free passes to shop at the new Ikea store in Tampa before it opens to the public. It was our my first time in one of those stores, and it was every bit the harrowing shopping marathon I'd heard it was. For a store that boasts so frequently about how efficient everything is, having you proceed through the store in one long winding line for four hours sure doesn't feel that way, but every store has ways of getting you to buy more than you came for and Ikea has come up with a unique one.
Our friends bought quite a bit, but Kelly and I didn't spend money other than lunch in the cafeteria. I want to say that I'm proud of our self-restraint in holding back, but the real reason is that virtually nothing in that store appealed to us. I have friends with this design sense and there's nothing wrong with it, but personally, we were turned off by the tacky patterns and single bolds colors, and the flat boxy shapes, and modular look to everything. Kelly objects to the modernity and the feeling that everything in the store will be out of style in ten years; me, I just don't care for the look of it at all. I want to get into interior decorating and spruce up my home, and if I liked Ikea's style then I'd be all over their cheap prices and mix & match philosophy; I'd be in heaven in that store. I think that explains it for the people who do like it. Until we get some more money, it's back to Target for us.
Three Replies to Det är inte så farligt
Kelly Lee | May 7, 2009
"Our first time"? I've been to them before. It's hot gay man watchin time!
Scott Hardie | May 7, 2009
That store has got to be difficult for employees to get across too, even if they know all the shortcuts. If you work on the first floor and the far opposite corner from the cafeteria and you get a fifteen minute break, how many minutes will you really have to relax?
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

All King and No Kubrick Make Jack a Dull Boy
I recently got to talking with friends who liked The Shining, both Stephen King's novel and Stanley Kubrick's film adaptation of it, but who were unaware that King has always loathed the movie, despite its reputation as one of the best horror films ever made. It's hard to imagine that a writer doesn't know his own work better than someone interpreting it, but I think this is one of those rare cases where the writer is just too close to the story to get it. Here are three reasons why I think Kubrick's film better understands the material, and is better overall, than King's novel: 1) In King's version, Jack Torrance is a fundamentally decent man who wouldn't hurt a fly, but who is down on his luck and desperate. Go »
Not in My Back Yard
I love Unsolved Mysteries. The show told such interesting stories in perfect bite-size pieces, and knew how to make the hair on your neck stand up. I wish they were more objective in their reporting and didn't rely on pseudoscience as evidence (using psychics to prove ghosts and polygraph results to condemn criminals), but damn they put on an entertaining show. Go »
More Nerd Humor
Thanks, Kelly. Go »
Modern Music
Sadness is not when one of your favorite bands (Smashing Pumpkins) puts out their final album in MP3 format only and you miss it because you don't want to get into file-sharing. Sadness is five years later, when you happily stumble across a website with the entire thing available for download and you finally learn how heinous and unpublishable the album was all along. Go »
2012
What a great year. Kelly and I got engaged. Kelly gained permanent employment and health benefits. Go »










Jackie Mason | May 4, 2009
[hidden by author request]