"Heel, Heinrich!", commands the Governator.
"Kiss my grossly over-developed ass," snarls Heinrich in return.
Anyone ever heard of myostatin before? Not me. Good thing I have some - I can't afford tailored clothing.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Which Underwear?

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: A friend of mine lost his wife a few years ago. He's not that old and dreaded entering the dating scene again but he was growing a little lonely. Brenda: Good for him - fingers crossed. Go »

Crazy For You, Baby

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: You know how crazy I am for you? Brenda: Crazy enough to raise three kids. me: I'm crazy enough to ignore the voices in my head when we talk. Go »

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

At 11:00 a.m., Brenda called me from the school where she works and told me that she had fallen and was unable to drive home. She needed me to 1) find a second driver for her car, 2) come get her and take her to urgent care and 3) make sure that Olivia is taken care of when she arrives home in an hour. Go »

If I Had A Hammer...

I once heard Leonard Nimoy singing this old Pete Seeger tune and it almost gave me epileptic convulsions. It has nothing to do with this link of an amazing artist who works with Hammer and Nails. It's just that whenever I see a hammer or box of nails or even a picture of Karen Carpenter - that's the song that leaps into my head. Go »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 3

Another small collection of weird legal matters. Yeah research, that's the ticket; Too manly for the ladies' room; Chi-tonw blues; Cat's got yer what?; and finally, I have no idea what it's like to be busted for DUI, taken for mugshots wearing a shirt displaying my love for midget sex, and then being forever haunted by that image surfacing on the internet, but I know who to ask. Go »

Scott And The Genie

Scott Hardie was walking along the beach one day and discovered an old oil lamp. While rubbing the lamp a genie popped out. The genie said in a loud voice, "I am the genie of the lamp. Go »