Recent conversation with Brenda.

Brenda: What would be the hardest thing for you to give up for Lent?

Me: Shooting guns.

Brenda: But you don't shoot.

Me: But I have the most realistic dreams. I rescue POW's like Stallone, I kill evil dictators with a sniper shot from a mile away like Jack Reacher, I perform quick draws and shoot the bad guy like Saturday westerns...

Brenda: You more likely kill a dozen people from the Texas Tower.

Me: Just as well I don't actually own a real gun.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Ahnuld's Dog, Heinrich

"Heel, Heinrich!", commands the Governator. "Kiss my grossly over-developed ass," snarls Heinrich in return. Go »

Apparently, Some Visuals are Best Left Undescribed

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I was thinking about Star Wars stuff the other day and I can't help but see this mental image of the Empire State Building wielding a light sabre and waving it at King Kong. You know, The Empire Strikes Back. Brenda: Have you taken your meds today? Go »

Anchors Aweigh

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: (after observing me sucking in my stomach while standing on a scale) Ha! Me: What? Brenda: Sucking in your blubber won't help! Go »

Stay-cation Week V

My God, bowling has gotten expensive. Sorry to speak of the costs of things so much but hey, this is a getting a little ridiculous. One game cost me $17.00. Go »

Passion

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I've been thinking about our love life lately. Brenda: Have you been drinking? me: I think the best comparison would be to the cockroach. Go »

Back to School Night

We just got back from the titular event and I have to say, I love my kids' school. Lauren is in 3rd grade and Olivia is in the autism program in 1st grade. Lauren has one teacher and Olivia has at least three (more if you count her speech therapist, occupational therapist, and physical therapist). Go »