Recent conversation with Brenda.

Brenda: What would be the hardest thing for you to give up for Lent?

Me: Shooting guns.

Brenda: But you don't shoot.

Me: But I have the most realistic dreams. I rescue POW's like Stallone, I kill evil dictators with a sniper shot from a mile away like Jack Reacher, I perform quick draws and shoot the bad guy like Saturday westerns...

Brenda: You more likely kill a dozen people from the Texas Tower.

Me: Just as well I don't actually own a real gun.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Worst. Playground Toys. Ever.

"Mommy! Mommy! Can I crawl up the elephant's butt? Go »

These People Really Hate Tomatoes

Random quote: "I accedentially (sic) ate a cherry tomato in my salad once,and now I worship satan." I personally like tomatoes and find it incredible that anyone can have such passion in either direction; love or hate. About tomatoes, I mean. Go »

My Ball Got Whacked With Monkey Poo

I love miniature golf. Back in college, I spent many a drunken evening goofing off with friends, avoiding the last few pages of a term paper, or just getting the cheap thrill of pretending you're an athlete by getting your ball into Mickey Mouse's left eye to win a free game. Eat me, Arnold Palmer! Go »

If I Were To Make A Children's Show...

...it would be similar to this promo for The Crime Channel featuring Gali the Alligator. The lyrics are a little hard to understand so I've attempted to transcribe them here. Go »

You Make Life Worth Living

Recently, I attended a wedding for some close friends of mine. The reception featured a DJ who doubled as emcee announcing what was happening and what would happen next. After doing the stupid chicken dance and the hokey pokey, he tried to create a “feel good” moment for the newlyweds. Go »

Some Anniversaries Are More Memorable Than Others

Today is the ninth anniversary of my wedding to my child bride, Brenda. So far so good. Had to call and schedule the plumber because there is water leaking from behind the wall in the bathroom. Go »