I Can Deflect Staples
by Scott Hardie on August 16, 2006

Should you call your day a complete wash if your greatest creative achievement was paper fastener nunchucks?
Six Replies to I Can Deflect Staples
Lori Lancaster | August 16, 2006
[hidden by author request]
Amy Austin | August 17, 2006
...cover it up with some kind of material...

Kris Weberg | August 19, 2006
Hell, Scott, most days I don't even reach the paper-fastener nunchuk level of achievement.
E. M. | August 28, 2006
[hidden by author request]
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Solitaire
Right now, I don't think I could write emotionally about my feelings from last night as well as I could have in the moment, but I haven't finished considering them and this is a part of that process. Long story short, I found myself passing on friends who really wanted to spend time with me in order to sit here and write code for Celebrity Goo Game, and I came to question what the hell I was doing. As in, my whole lifestyle. Go »
WLW: Can't
"Can't" is a word that fat people tell ourselves a lot after so many failed diets: We can't lose the weight, we can't succeed. Hearing it from a doctor would seem inconsequential. But it still hurts. Go »
Day 14
In lieu of "weight loss Wednesday" since I'm much too busy on Wednesdays even to get online, let me write today that I'm on day 14 of a new diet, which is 13 more days than nearly all of my attempts last. This is, in fact, the second-longest I've ever lasted on a diet, and in a few weeks it will be the longest. This should indicate how lousy my self-discipline is and why I've ballooned to this size, around 450 pounds. Go »
Pico de Greedo
On Friday, my company threw a part Mexican, part Star Wars party in celebration of Cinco de Mayo and Star Wars Day ("May the 4th be with you"). It was a weird combination but it worked, with games like a lightsaber piñata bash. Kelly made "lightsabers" (pretzel rods frosted with blue and red frosting), but she really got interested when I mentioned that the salsa contest offered three prizes and only had three teams on the signup sheet. Go »
Hello Stupid
I don't know why car companies insist on calling their products "vehicles" now. Apparently "cars" became a dirty word and I missed it. But if you're going to change the term, consider your marketing messages carefully: As a matter of fact, yes, I have heard about radar, sonar, and infared technology in vehicles, such as submarines, aircraft carriers, and helicopters. Go »

Scott Hardie | August 16, 2006
I just found a use for them: Cat toy. She's been eager to play with anything and everything since her favorite toy, a colored strip of cloth on a stick, was destroyed a few weeks ago. One second I was flinging the toy at her and flinging it back over my shoulder, and the next it was yanked out of my hands and shredded pieces of it flew all over the room. Those ceiling fans are dangerous.