I Can Deflect Staples
by Scott Hardie on August 16, 2006

Should you call your day a complete wash if your greatest creative achievement was paper fastener nunchucks?
Six Replies to I Can Deflect Staples
Lori Lancaster | August 16, 2006
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Amy Austin | August 17, 2006
...cover it up with some kind of material...

Kris Weberg | August 19, 2006
Hell, Scott, most days I don't even reach the paper-fastener nunchuk level of achievement.
E. M. | August 28, 2006
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Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Throw Out Your Caller ID
I'm all for scientific research into the paranormal, since it will benefit humankind whether the results are affirmative or negative – but apparently it's awfully hard to keep such research scientific. For instance, I never fail to be amused by ghost hunters who claim to have proven a haunting because electromagnetic readings are higher in the area, a phenomenon that has no demonstrated correlation with hauntings. And let's not even get into the ones who claim to have proven a haunting because a "psychic" said they sensed ghosts nearby. Go »
Varicosity
A couple of people have asked about a foot injury that I mentioned. It sounded scary but it's actually pretty minor. A varicose vein on the surface of my left foot ruptured on its own. Go »
Crash
There are some dangerous intersections in our neighborhood, where trucks come barreling through after the light turns red. This morning, Kelly and I were waiting at the light when she dropped her sunglasses. "Fuck beans," she muttered, unbuckling her seat belt and leaning forward just as the light turned green. Go »
Cheesed
If life is about simple pleasures, does the return of Taco Bell's chili cheese burrito qualify? I don't know if it's nationwide, but they've returned on a wave of marketing around here. It was my favorite menu item a decade ago, until lack of counter space in the kitchen eliminated chili from a supposedly "Mexican" restaurant. Go »
Not in My Back Yard
I love Unsolved Mysteries. The show told such interesting stories in perfect bite-size pieces, and knew how to make the hair on your neck stand up. I wish they were more objective in their reporting and didn't rely on pseudoscience as evidence (using psychics to prove ghosts and polygraph results to condemn criminals), but damn they put on an entertaining show. Go »

Scott Hardie | August 16, 2006
I just found a use for them: Cat toy. She's been eager to play with anything and everything since her favorite toy, a colored strip of cloth on a stick, was destroyed a few weeks ago. One second I was flinging the toy at her and flinging it back over my shoulder, and the next it was yanked out of my hands and shredded pieces of it flew all over the room. Those ceiling fans are dangerous.