Is it a reflection of our road-rage culture that a company named Dodge manufactures cars with violent names like Ram, Magnum, Caliber, and Viper? I pondered this at the dealership yesterday during the eternal wait between brief flurries of document-signing so I could buy my first car. It took some doing to get the sunroof and other features I wanted, but I'm now the happy (and relieved) owner of a 2007 Dodge Caliber SXT.



On the down side, I'm a weak negotiator and got taken to the cleaners on the price, then again on the financing, which had a lot to do with having no credit history whatsoever. On the upside, I love the Caliber already. It's attractive, it gets a debatable 30mpg, I like the features (there's a friggin' refrigerator in the glove box), I'm proud to buy American, and most importantly, it's brand-spankin' new with a six-year bumper-to-bumper warranty, so all of my maintenance problems with the last car are a thing of the past.

The last car was a 1996 Mercury Cougar XR7, Bostonian edition, bought brand-new by my father six months before his death; I inherited it with a thousand miles on the odometer. Anyone who's hung out with me in the last ten years has ridden in it at some point, and it earned nicknames ("the Mighty Mighty Boss-tonian", "the Time-Warp Car", "the Old Person Car") that I'll remember fondly. But it was one maintenance headache after another, with a check-engine light that stayed on for seven years for various reasons and certain features that never worked from day one. I don't like stepping down from a luxury car to a budget model, but I'll enjoy the newness and good working condition of the Caliber while they last.


Four Replies to Scott's Car is Dead; Long Live Scott's Car

Anna Gregoline | September 5, 2006
Ah yes, I remember your "old person car!"

Congrats, it's always thrilling to get a new vehicle!

Jackie Mason | September 6, 2006
[hidden by author request]

Scott Hardie | September 7, 2006
Thank you both for saying so. I'm still quite pleased with it.

Jackie Mason | September 16, 2006
[hidden by author request]


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

I Am Not Larry David

Last night, Kelly and I joined some friends from work at Tropicana Field to watch the Rays lose to the Blue Jays, something we do from time to time. In the second inning, I caught a foul ball that came wildly bouncing around our section. Everybody in our group got a kick out of it, and I savored the feeling. Go »

Illinois, October 2012

Our road trip to see friends and family in Illinois was well worth it. The drive both ways was pleasant. I indulged in junk food like a man taking a break from six months of dieting (since my post-Atkins diet started in June, I've lost 50 pounds). Go »

More Than Meets the Eye

Paramount is holding a contest in which one lucky fan will have their line of dialogue added to the upcoming Transformers movie, spoken in character by Optimus Prime. (link) I wonder if they'll take my submission: "I want these motherfucking Decepticons off this motherfucking plane!" Go »

The Revised Revised Revised Story

Last spring, This Modern World ran a great parody charting the decline of civil liberties in recent years, after the then-shocking revelation that the government was building a database of every call made in the country: (link) I was reminded of that over the weekend as the latest shocking revelation came out, that the FBI has vastly abused its new ability to request confidential information in the interest of national security (link), almost as if it was the next panel in the strip. Except I'm not laughing. Oh, what I'd have given to be the reporter at Alberto Gonzales's press conference this morning. Go »

Party Time, Excellent

I rarely enjoy going to parties and I never drink, so it has come as a surprise to me that I have lately developed a love of hosting parties where friends drink. Kelly and I have thrown three parties in three months, each with around 20-25 guests: A Labor Day cookout with swimming in the pool, a Halloween party with costumes and horror games, and a Christmas party with a gift swap. I think we're done for a little while, just to give ourselves a break, because it takes a lot of cleaning and shopping and preparing to throw parties like this. Go »

Pass Me the Green, I Need Some Trees with My Tennessee

Kelly and I just took a short vacation to Gatlinburg: Two days there, with two full days of driving to make it happen. We've been itching to get out of the house during this awful pandemic (and to use Kelly's PTO before it expires), but with options limited for places to go safely, we realized that we could rent a cabin with family and just go hiking and birdwatching and grilling, avoiding crowds in favor of natural spaces. Kelly's immediate family from Illinois drove over to join us. Go »