Is it a reflection of our road-rage culture that a company named Dodge manufactures cars with violent names like Ram, Magnum, Caliber, and Viper? I pondered this at the dealership yesterday during the eternal wait between brief flurries of document-signing so I could buy my first car. It took some doing to get the sunroof and other features I wanted, but I'm now the happy (and relieved) owner of a 2007 Dodge Caliber SXT.



On the down side, I'm a weak negotiator and got taken to the cleaners on the price, then again on the financing, which had a lot to do with having no credit history whatsoever. On the upside, I love the Caliber already. It's attractive, it gets a debatable 30mpg, I like the features (there's a friggin' refrigerator in the glove box), I'm proud to buy American, and most importantly, it's brand-spankin' new with a six-year bumper-to-bumper warranty, so all of my maintenance problems with the last car are a thing of the past.

The last car was a 1996 Mercury Cougar XR7, Bostonian edition, bought brand-new by my father six months before his death; I inherited it with a thousand miles on the odometer. Anyone who's hung out with me in the last ten years has ridden in it at some point, and it earned nicknames ("the Mighty Mighty Boss-tonian", "the Time-Warp Car", "the Old Person Car") that I'll remember fondly. But it was one maintenance headache after another, with a check-engine light that stayed on for seven years for various reasons and certain features that never worked from day one. I don't like stepping down from a luxury car to a budget model, but I'll enjoy the newness and good working condition of the Caliber while they last.


Four Replies to Scott's Car is Dead; Long Live Scott's Car

Anna Gregoline | September 5, 2006
Ah yes, I remember your "old person car!"

Congrats, it's always thrilling to get a new vehicle!

Jackie Mason | September 6, 2006
[hidden by author request]

Scott Hardie | September 7, 2006
Thank you both for saying so. I'm still quite pleased with it.

Jackie Mason | September 16, 2006
[hidden by author request]


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

R.I.P. Mom

You were so still in your bed when I could finally sit down beside you, a few hours after the facility notified me that you had died. I hadn't seen you be that peaceful in years, your eyes not scanning the room for clues, your hands not turning over each object in front of you for endlessly repeated examination. I whispered to you the most urgent and most precious things I had to say, the secrets and atonements and wishes foremost on my mind. Go »

Eulogy for Two or Possibly Three Restaurants

Dining in Sarasota at 10:30pm on a Friday night is not the easiest proposition. I took my friends Miah and Ines downtown to the only non-franchise I knew would still be open, an upscale sports-themed bar & grill called Patrick's. I've had fifteen or so great meals there, but not last night. Go »

Final Chapter

The movies that are going to be written about in Brittany Murphy's obituaries are Just Married, 8 Mile, Clueless, and maybe Sin City. But the one most sadly relevant is a movie that few people saw, The Dead Girl. Each chapter of the movie shows how a different woman is affected by the discovery of a woman's body in a field, until the last chapter doubles back and shows us her haunting final days. Go »

R.I.P. Pat

Kelly's mother passed away last week. The event had been anticipated for decades: Pat was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as a child, suffered kidney failure in 1995 and survived on her brother's donated kidney, and had five strokes and five heart attacks and countless operations, including emergency brain surgery in 2007 that changed her personality. She obviously possessed quite an inner resiliency even if she seemed petite and frail on the outside, but it was inevitable that she would someday lose the fight with her own body. Go »

Flow Charts

Meet the marriage of rap music and Microsoft Office: (link) Why do I have the feeling Herbert Kornfeld made some of these? Thanks, Marlon. Go »

Fur and Feathers

Yesterday was a good day: To celebrate my mother's 75th birthday, we took her out for a day around Sarasota doing things that appealed to her love of animals. After starting with a big breakfast, we went to a local attraction that we've all been meaning to see for years, the Big Cat Habitat that takes care of exotic animals that were born in captivity but abandoned by their owners. The lions and tigers and liger were the prime attraction, but they also had bears, monkeys, a chimpanzee, parrots, emu, turkeys, goats, koi, and even stranger animals like a kangaroo, kinkajou, and coati. Go »