Is it a reflection of our road-rage culture that a company named Dodge manufactures cars with violent names like Ram, Magnum, Caliber, and Viper? I pondered this at the dealership yesterday during the eternal wait between brief flurries of document-signing so I could buy my first car. It took some doing to get the sunroof and other features I wanted, but I'm now the happy (and relieved) owner of a 2007 Dodge Caliber SXT.



On the down side, I'm a weak negotiator and got taken to the cleaners on the price, then again on the financing, which had a lot to do with having no credit history whatsoever. On the upside, I love the Caliber already. It's attractive, it gets a debatable 30mpg, I like the features (there's a friggin' refrigerator in the glove box), I'm proud to buy American, and most importantly, it's brand-spankin' new with a six-year bumper-to-bumper warranty, so all of my maintenance problems with the last car are a thing of the past.

The last car was a 1996 Mercury Cougar XR7, Bostonian edition, bought brand-new by my father six months before his death; I inherited it with a thousand miles on the odometer. Anyone who's hung out with me in the last ten years has ridden in it at some point, and it earned nicknames ("the Mighty Mighty Boss-tonian", "the Time-Warp Car", "the Old Person Car") that I'll remember fondly. But it was one maintenance headache after another, with a check-engine light that stayed on for seven years for various reasons and certain features that never worked from day one. I don't like stepping down from a luxury car to a budget model, but I'll enjoy the newness and good working condition of the Caliber while they last.


Four Replies to Scott's Car is Dead; Long Live Scott's Car

Anna Gregoline | September 5, 2006
Ah yes, I remember your "old person car!"

Congrats, it's always thrilling to get a new vehicle!

Jackie Mason | September 6, 2006
[hidden by author request]

Scott Hardie | September 7, 2006
Thank you both for saying so. I'm still quite pleased with it.

Jackie Mason | September 16, 2006
[hidden by author request]


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Mars Needs Kitties

Thanks to Lori for sending me this: That gets me thinking: Do you think if people hadn't had the idea for crop circles until a decade later that the fad would have even happened? In this decade we have the tools on personal computers to fake images like this with photo-perfect results, and hoaxers could just distribute photos with the click of a mouse. Photos have been doctored for decades, of course, but now your grandma can do it, you know? Go »

Throw Out Your Caller ID

I'm all for scientific research into the paranormal, since it will benefit humankind whether the results are affirmative or negative – but apparently it's awfully hard to keep such research scientific. For instance, I never fail to be amused by ghost hunters who claim to have proven a haunting because electromagnetic readings are higher in the area, a phenomenon that has no demonstrated correlation with hauntings. And let's not even get into the ones who claim to have proven a haunting because a "psychic" said they sensed ghosts nearby. Go »

The Ten Best Films of 2009 That I Saw

10: Thirst - A priest must cope with having become a vampire. It's a psychological power struggle between two outcasts with their souls on the line. Slow but very methodical in its effect; every moment matters. Go »

Hello Stupid

I don't know why car companies insist on calling their products "vehicles" now. Apparently "cars" became a dirty word and I missed it. But if you're going to change the term, consider your marketing messages carefully: As a matter of fact, yes, I have heard about radar, sonar, and infared technology in vehicles, such as submarines, aircraft carriers, and helicopters. Go »

Modern Music

Sadness is not when one of your favorite bands (Smashing Pumpkins) puts out their final album in MP3 format only and you miss it because you don't want to get into file-sharing. Sadness is five years later, when you happily stumble across a website with the entire thing available for download and you finally learn how heinous and unpublishable the album was all along. Go »

R.I.P. Pat

Kelly's mother passed away last week. The event had been anticipated for decades: Pat was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as a child, suffered kidney failure in 1995 and survived on her brother's donated kidney, and had five strokes and five heart attacks and countless operations, including emergency brain surgery in 2007 that changed her personality. She obviously possessed quite an inner resiliency even if she seemed petite and frail on the outside, but it was inevitable that she would someday lose the fight with her own body. Go »