UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.

UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?

UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.

UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.

I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Guardians x 2

Brenda and I completed a court appearance via Zoom meeting that determined we were Olivia's official guardians. Actually the court is her guardian and we are the court's agents. We are guardians of person and property. Go »

Post-Delaware Staycation

The last leg of our vacation was a trip to Dutch Wonderland in Lancaster, PA. This is a pretty terrific amusement park for kids, I mean little kids. Most of the rides are designed for children between the ages 6 & 10. Go »

Got Dem Sunday Shopping UOAS Blues

Weekly shopping or as it has become, my weekly stroll through Satan's marketplace. I consciously avoided UOAS's line and since there were only two lines, chose the one next door. Let's call this one Slightly Less Ugly On A Stick. Go »

Mother's Day Gifts

As an honor to Brenda, we got her some plants for the house and lawn. Nice plants. All now dead from neglect. Go »

Rock, Paper, Saddam!

Definitely not a new site but new to me. Obviously pre-execution, I'm glad I finally got around to viewing this 'cause it's pretty funny. Tiger claw beats friggin' everything. Go »

Christmas Post #7: Coloring Crime

This website has some hilarious sections (most times intentionally, I think) offering many odd items for sale. My favorite is the Law & Order coloring book. Check out that connect the dots page - I wonder who that could be? Go »