UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.

UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?

UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.

UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.

I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

50501

I just returned from the 50501 (50 protests, 50 states, 1 movement) "No Kings" protest rally in Bowie. This was the second 50501 protest rally that Brenda and I have attended. The first one was in early April and was attended by about 100 people. Go »

Punched In The Nose With A Stinky Fist

The complete culinary compilation of Steve, Don't Eat It! at Sneeze.com. My reading was interrupted by a need for defibrillation - laughed so hard my heart stopped. Go »

As The Firm Sang - I'm Radioactive

Brenda is under quarantine now because of an ablation procedure that makes her radioactive. Some stray thyroid tissue is apparently on her oncologist's hit list and he won't be denied. I'm sleeping on the couch for the next three nights and I'm doing the Daddy thing solo for the next three days. Go »

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Recent conversation with Brenda: While watching “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” in bed... Me: Do you want to have sex? Brenda: No. Go »

I'll Take Potpourri for $1000, Alex

Mix of the best stuff I found this week. More drunk pwned photos. Do you dress like a douchebag? Go »

Post Florida is Literally Murder

Brenda and I recently returned from a wonderful week spent in Sarasota with Scott and Kelly. Lauren and her husband, Jon, were able to fly down from ND to care for Olivia while we were travelling. The trip started as a mixed bag of positives and negatives, as the people in the row in front of us spoke incessantly and at an annoyingly loud volume but the young lady who shared our row was delightful. Go »