UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.

UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?

UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.

UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.

I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Emptying My Blog Folder

Removing links like a giant hair clog. Odd little internet games. Big thumbnail list of T-shirts - a few are pretty funny. Go »

Christmas Post #7: Coloring Crime

This website has some hilarious sections (most times intentionally, I think) offering many odd items for sale. My favorite is the Law & Order coloring book. Check out that connect the dots page - I wonder who that could be? Go »

Cartoon Nostalgia

Anybody else remember The Mighty Heroes? How about The Wacky Races or Hong Kong Phooey? Alright, how about Super Chicken or Go Go Gophers? Go »

Christmas Post #22: Full Metal Rudolph

One of the first impressions I learned as a kid was the Charlie-in-the-box from the Island of Misfit Toys. "Nobody wants a Charlie-in-the-box." Yeah, that really cracked up all the girls in third grade. Go »

Christmas Post #5: For Those Just A Little Too Happy

I know a lot of happy people, I mean people that see humor in the Holocaust. I, myself, am generally a happy guy but not to that extent. A few of those people are on my Christmas list and will be receiving this stocking stuffer from me. Go »

What's A Zug, Anyway?

John Hargrave is an internet comedian I admire greatly. I read his stuff and laugh long and loud. The "pranks" on his site are incredibly funny. Go »