UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.

UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?

UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.

UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.

I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Farewell, My Brother

Brenda's brother, Scott, was in a motorcycle accident yesterday and without knowing any details of the accident, I do know that he was killed. I loved him very much and I know he loved me back. I wrote this simple tribute to him that I was forced to end because I couldn't stop crying. Go »

So, How Much Has Been Spent Saving Matt Damon?

I calculated the amount of money spent, based on movie budgets, in saving Matt Damon. I only went to 2015 because I got tired. But up to then, here's the money that's been spent. Go »

My Second Dad

Earlier this week, I lost my father-in-law to lung cancer. He was a beautiful man who welcomed me into his family after marrying his oldest daughter. Family isn’t always blood. Go »

All Aboard...

This week's trainwreck of links. Everything goes well with bacon. I repeat, everything goes well with bacon. Go »

The Magic Kingdom Is, Well...Magic

We just flew in from Orlando from a week's stay in Kissimmee, Florida. We had an incredible vacation that included the Magic Kingdom, Aquatica waterpark, a resort stay at Oak Plantation, Hollywood Studios, and Universal Citywalk including the Hard Rock Cafe, Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. and the Blue Man Group show. Go »

Greasy Pole (Not Ron Jeremy)

Apparently, there is an annual contest in which men in drag attempt to walk the length of a greasy pole suspended over a body of water. It appears to be about 40 feet in length and about 20 feet over the water. The object being to reach the flag at the end of the pole. Go »