Sages And Fools
by Steve West on April 25, 2010
UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.
UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?
UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.
UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.
I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Christmas Post #20: Only In America? I Don't Think So.
The multitude of toys available around the world that make you want to say "WTF?" is overwhelming. Collection of toys that thankfully have no links for purchase. Go »The Colossus Of Roads
I am getting so sick of commuter traffic. Forbes magazine has Washington, DC listed as #3 on the Texas Transportation Institute's Worst Cities for Traffic list and I can't disagree. The bulk of that rating comes from the deteriorating infrastructure within the city which doesn't affect me much. Go »How Old Is Too Old For Santa Claus?
My daughter Lauren wrote a letter to Santa in which she asked him for nothing - just a letter to say what a cool guy she thinks he is. It has a few misspellings and a grammar error or two and it's not written with the greatest penmanship. And it's completely adorable. Go »Christmas Post #13: Gettin' Shamed At Christmas
Stop motion clip of some passed out guy ultimately getting wrapped in a string of Christmas lights. I laughed until I passed out. Merry Christmas drunk dude! Go »Oprah Is Immortal
I was talking to Brenda about weight recently - about how hers is creeping up and mine is creeping down. I ran across this article afterwards and showed it to her as a peace offering (man that skillet to the skull really hurts!) Thigh size has been connected to a predilection for heart disease. Go »
