Sages And Fools
by Steve West on April 25, 2010
UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.
UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?
UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.
UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.
I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Dumb Celebrity Quotes
Anyone can say something stupid every once in a while, of course. But the celebrities featured on this website sure seem to make a habit of it. Only one quote per customer but they probably make up the usual suspects in the dumb quote hall of shame. Go »Just My Lucky Day, I Guess
Weekly shopping trips have been largely uneventful of late because of the absence of you know who, UOAS. She kind of startled me with her presence at the Safeway tonight and I wondered if God specifically was observing my sense of satisfaction over her MIA status. She noted my surprised expression and commented, "Long time no see!" Go »First Post
Rather than clog the TC Board with things that mostly interest me exclusively, this seemed a more appropriate avenue. I'll probably post something nearly every day as I'm online daily just surfin' & lookin' for weird stuff. For example, how else would I have ever known of these products if I hadn't seen them using "strange" in a search string? Go »Number 10. He's Gay As A Caballero
"The Nose on Your Face" gives their top 9 possible explanations for Senator Larry Craig's airport bathroom behavior. Go »The New Store
At a local mall, I overheard an interaction between two budding entrepreneurs and an old man strolling along with a cane. A new store announced with a sign, "Opening Soon!" and inside were the two guys opening a few boxes to stack their wares on shelves. Go »
