UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.

UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?

UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.

UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.

I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Halloween Post #5: What Do You Mean You're Out Of Blood Colored Yarn?!?

Several goo site participants have demonstrable sewing skills. Anybody knit? For those who do and are in a festive spirit on a psychotic level, you might want to try your hand at these. Go »

Christmas Post #21: Christmas Songs

Spinner.com submitted their list of the 12 best Christmas songs. Songs, not carols. Go »

It's Saturday And You Know What That Means...

Shopping Day. I went grocery shopping earlier today because I had the afternoon free and I prefer to get it done when I have the chance as opposed to shopping at night because that's the only time available after a full day's activity. Added bonus: no UOAS. Go »

Baseball and Androgeny

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: (watching baseball) Do you realize how filthy professional baseball players are? Brenda: Not first-hand, no. me: Look at these guys. Go »

Cool Kleenex Dispensers

My daughter brings crafts home from school. I'm sending her teacher a picture of this Easter Island-ish tissue dispenser for their next craft project. Hey, they can learn about Easter Island and the Moai statues. Go »

Vacation Week

We took the girls to the National Zoo in Washington D.C., a part of the Smithsonian network of attractions. Home of the famous pandas, the National Zoo is incredibly diverse and seemingly comprehensive. Go »