UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.

UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?

UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.

UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.

I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Creepy Halloween Lodgings

These creepy places to stay during a Halloween vacation may be too late to consider this year but they're not going anywhere soon so keep them in mind for the future. You can't stay in all of these places but for those that you can, there's that extra layer of creepiness. The Haunted Hull House in Chicago. Go »

East Meets West

So, good friends of ours, Lauren's godparents, invited our family to join them for a birthday dinner at a local Japanese steakhouse, Sakura. I've always wanted to go to one of these but until last night never had the opportunity. The girls are finicky eaters so prospects looked pretty slim. Go »

Vacation Week II

Took the girls to a petting zoo where they could not only look at the animals but interact as well. Saw some things of interest to me; an albino peacock (well, I don't know if it was albino but it was all white); petted a llama (their hair is kinda rough); the world's fattest rabbit (big as a poodle!); pigs, cows, horses, donkeys, turkeys & chickens & roosters (oh, my); a beautiful garden of vegetables and flowers; and lots of ducks and geese. Go »

Santa Claus Can Kiss My Ass

That title is almost blasphemous in the American belief system, I know. We took the girls to a local ice cream store, Coldstone's, to get ice cream and to see and get a photograph taken with Santa. It occured to me that Santa gets a lot of credit for stuff that I do and provide. Go »

Vacation 2010

We took a real vacation this year albeit the travel was not a great distance. We packed up and went to Williamsburg, Va. It's a three-pronged vacation place that includes Busch Gardens amusement park, Water Country, USA and Colonial Williamsburg itself. Go »

Housebuying Stuff

I'm too tired to come up with a more clever title. New carpet installed. New bathtub and shower installed. Go »