UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.

UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?

UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.

UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.

I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Number 10. He's Gay As A Caballero

"The Nose on Your Face" gives their top 9 possible explanations for Senator Larry Craig's airport bathroom behavior. Go »

Christmas Post #21: Christmas Songs

Spinner.com submitted their list of the 12 best Christmas songs. Songs, not carols. Go »

Guns are Not Really a Laughing Matter

Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: What would be the hardest thing for you to give up for Lent? Me: Shooting guns. Go »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 2

Another collection of dumb criminals/lawsuits. Over-salted burger; anger management irony; the writing is on the wall dope; porn = pain; and finally, from the "What Did They Expect?" department, Unwanted donation . Go »

Redneck ROFL

I've been to this site a few dozen times without considering linking to it. But a picture they posted really cracked me up because it, once again, reminded me of my Carolina cousins, rednecks all. Anyway the picture I'm referring to is called redneck Barbies and they remind me of a favorite pair of cousins of mine, Rodney and Looler. Go »

Little Hoover Dam Break

This week's mini-flood o' links. Ridiculous weatherman names. These are real. Go »