Sages And Fools
by Steve West on April 25, 2010

UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.
UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?
UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.
UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.
I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

It's Saturday And You Know What That Means...
Shopping Day. I went grocery shopping earlier today because I had the afternoon free and I prefer to get it done when I have the chance as opposed to shopping at night because that's the only time available after a full day's activity. Added bonus: no UOAS. Go »
Such As It Is...
Best stuff I found this week. Snippets of conversation Overheard in Chicago. Sidewalk paintings by Julian Beever. Go »
Adios Por Ahora
So I've dragged my old college spanish texts off the shelf trying to prep for my trip to Spain. Four days in Barcelona and 2 days in Madrid. I should see plenty of the Mediterranean in Barcelona with temperatures in the low eighties the entire time. Go »
Japanese Terebi Game Shows 2
Sometimes clever but usually hilarious clips from one particularly wacky game show. Human Tetris I; Human Tetris II; Human Tetris III. Go »
Do Pumpkins Exist Outside Of These Fall Holidays?
They should. I love the taste of homemade pumpkin pie. I almost didn't marry Brenda when she told me she couldn't make one but I thankfully reconsidered. Go »