The New Store
by Steve West on June 5, 2022
At a local mall, I overheard an interaction between two budding entrepreneurs and an old man strolling along with a cane. A new store announced with a sign, "Opening Soon!" and inside were the two guys opening a few boxes to stack their wares on shelves. The curious old guy peered through the window, looked around intensely for a minute, then rapped on the glass with his cane shouting, "What are you sellin' here?" One of the guys (obviously not seeing the old guy as a potential customer) yelled back, "We're selling assholes!" Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well, only two left!"
Seniors - don't mess with them. They didn't get old by being stupid.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Christmas and a Lizard's Tale
One Christmas when Lauren was eight, like a lot of girls her age, wished for a pony. My backyard at the time was about the size of a Volkswagen Minibus. Despite her assurances that she would let it roam the neighborhood for sufficient exercise, I said, “Not this year,” as I pictured myself following the horse with a pooper scooper. Go »Phallic Logo Awards
Most of these fall under the "They Had To Have Noticed" category. I'll never look at another Head tennis racket quite the same way again. The winner is absolutely hilarious. Go »Anchors Aweigh
Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: (after observing me sucking in my stomach while standing on a scale) Ha! Me: What? Brenda: Sucking in your blubber won't help! Go »Massage This
Recent conversation with Brenda: (After a massage and dinner as a birthday gift from her sister) me: How was everything? Brenda: I'm gonna be sore for the next few days. I made the mistake of asking for medium pressure. Go »Goo Con III
What a fantastic time! Matt is truly one of the most gregarious, fun-loving and genuine people I know. Denise and Kelly were completely charming (of course!). Go »
