At a local mall, I overheard an interaction between two budding entrepreneurs and an old man strolling along with a cane. A new store announced with a sign, "Opening Soon!" and inside were the two guys opening a few boxes to stack their wares on shelves. The curious old guy peered through the window, looked around intensely for a minute, then rapped on the glass with his cane shouting, "What are you sellin' here?" One of the guys (obviously not seeing the old guy as a potential customer) yelled back, "We're selling assholes!" Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well, only two left!"

Seniors - don't mess with them. They didn't get old by being stupid.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Steve's Supermarket Adventure

Or...How I Tried To Get Myself Banned From Safeway Shopping at my local Safeway is usually a pleasant experience. Few crowds at 10:00 at night, plenty of quality choices, reasonable pricing, etc. Go »

One From Column A & Two From Column B

Serve yourself. Remember those "Fold-ins" from Mad Magazine? Here they are. Go »

Brenda's Diet Diary

Dear Diet Diary, As a Christmas present this year, my daughter, Lauren (what a thoughtful darling), bought me a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in reasonable shape since being a high school cheerleader 40 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Juan Antonio (ooh what a name) who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. Go »

You and Me, Albert

I just returned from an hour long wait at BestBuy to get a laptop we bought last week. I was there to retrieve it after the data transfer was completed by their Geek Squad. I stood in line watching four staff running around in circles helping one customer while me and six others in line watched stupefied. Go »

When You Care Enough To Hit Send II

Outrageous site with about 200 funny e-cards. I scheduled several to be sent to my wife over the next few months. Go »

Number 10. He's Gay As A Caballero

"The Nose on Your Face" gives their top 9 possible explanations for Senator Larry Craig's airport bathroom behavior. Go »