At a local mall, I overheard an interaction between two budding entrepreneurs and an old man strolling along with a cane. A new store announced with a sign, "Opening Soon!" and inside were the two guys opening a few boxes to stack their wares on shelves. The curious old guy peered through the window, looked around intensely for a minute, then rapped on the glass with his cane shouting, "What are you sellin' here?" One of the guys (obviously not seeing the old guy as a potential customer) yelled back, "We're selling assholes!" Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well, only two left!"

Seniors - don't mess with them. They didn't get old by being stupid.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

The Real Colon Blow Cereal

Holy metaphors, Batman! This recent All-Bran commercial from Kellogg's touts its ability to aid one in shitting enough bricks to build a barbecue. Go »

Me and Al Bundy

Recently, Brenda made the mistake of asking me to fix the toilet. It seemed to have gunk in the thingy that supplies the water and would only filll if I poked it with a paper clip in the spout thingy. You can tell I'm a semi-professional because of all the technical jargon. Go »

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Halloween Is For The Cats

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Taking Bets for 2021

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Father's Day Memories

One of the greatest gifts I ever received was on my twelfth birthday. My Dad gave me a small box with a note inside. It read, “Son, this year I will give you 365 hours, an hour every day after dinner. Go »