Week 108: Behold... The Inhumans, Those Who Would Destroy Us

Behold… The Inhumans: It's hard for me to know what to make of this since I don't know the Inhumans very well and it feels like prejudging the series based on the first episode, but… yikes. This is not a promising premiere, and you can tell right away why this series only lasted eight episodes. It's about impossible and incredible things, and yet it's realized with a bland mediocrity by nearly every department. The writing desperately needs an outsider viewpoint, some ordinary human brought into this city of Attilan who can be our audience surrogate while we gradually absorb this information, because there's so much about this setting that is ridiculous and it needs to be handled delicately. And yet, all of that might not matter, depending on how much of the rest of the series unfolds in Hawaii. Maybe they should have skipped Attilan entirely and just started In medias res with the Inhumans already stranded on Oahu?

The series reveals very quickly at what level it's working, by helpfully clarifying "Hawaii" on the screen after already saying "The Island of Oahu" and showing us Hawaii from above. Not much is going to be asked of us, is it? The showrunner here, Scott Buck, was also the showrunner on Iron Fist, which feels ominous. It's revealing that the least off-putting character in this premiere is the one with no spoken dialogue.

So Daisy Johnson's actions in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s second season finale caused Triton's mission on Earth to find Inhumans, which is a nice acknowledgement of the shows' connection. But why keep that mission a secret? This caused needless tension.

I remember a critic once saying that "Inhumans might be Marvel's worst show, but it is definitely their ugliest." And I must concur that the TV version of Attilan is an eyesore, with its bland concrete surfaces everywhere. What's with the two white-robed figures who stare down at the TV in the royal command room, even in the middle of a gunfight? Why is NASA operating an expensive drone from inside a mostly empty warehouse with just a few desks and a big screen?

I already wrote what I know of the origin of this series. That Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. spent so very long setting up Inhumans as Marvel's Next Big Thing, only for their starring series to be utterly terrible, is an embarrassment. I can see why Marvel Studios wants so little to do with this or the other shows made by Marvel Television. (2/10)

Those Who Would Destroy Us: Maximus appeals to Crystal for support. She answers, "Never. You make me sick. You're just a human." Ah, so she's racist, then. She doesn't hate him for any of the good reasons like murdering a council member or usurping the throne or lying to the people or keeping her prisoner or just being a creep, but because he doesn't have the right genes. That's not a good look, show. I'm really curious about the writing choices here, because Maximus does have powers of mind control in the comics, and the show made a deliberate choice to de-power him. I would assume that's to help justify his tension with everyone else and his not fitting in, but it also makes him naturally sympathetic because he's the underdog who the rest of the royal family pick on for biological differences beyond his control. And yet, none of his actions are remotely sympathetic; the scene in the last episode where he shaved Medusa as revenge for not sleeping with him pretty much shouted at the audience, "You're supposed to hate this guy." Thus, logic seems to follow that the show expects us to side naturally with the big powerful "normal" royal family against their scrawny little un-powered "different" underdog, not because of how any of them behave but because of who they innately are. And that's some disturbing master-race shit. Am I wrong?

I admire the show putting the Gorgon hoof costume in saltwater. I don't know how many copies they made for production, but that could not have been cheap. My sympathies to Eme Ikwuakor and anyone else who had to walk around in the sand in those hooves.

I wasn't going to say the obvious, but fine: It's welcome seeing Ken Leung back in the jungle in Hawaii. It brings back fond memories of Lost. I miss that show. It was messy and flawed, but a lot more entertaining than this.

So Crystal calling Medusa using Auran's com bracelet can be used to track Medusa's location, but Medusa calling Black Bolt using her own com bracelet cannot? Huh?

Black Bolt and Medusa come across poorly in their subplots. Did he think that he could walk out of a store without paying and assault a law enforcement officer without consequences, or are we supposed to think that because he's the king, he just gets away with that sort of thing and doesn't understand? She tries to fight Auran without her powers, manages to get the better of Auran, then pulls out the weapon she's had the whole time and stabs her, and then leaves her for dead, not knowing that Auran has the ability to heal herself? I don't know how to make sense of their choices, and I don't care. (3/10)

Upon hearing me describe these first two episodes as the worst Marvel show I've seen by a mile, Kelly wanted to sample it, and we wound up watching the entire two episodes again. She was bothered by more of the inherent logical problems than I was (why wouldn't a mute king be forced to abdicate? why wouldn't he just write things down? why does everyone keep trying to call him on the phone?), but she didn't mind the ugly production design like I did (I've always found Brutalism unsightly). We both appreciated the money spent on the series, like clearing city streets to film the arrest of Black Bolt, which most Marvel shows to date would not even attempt.

Brinaja's first vision of the future is "snakes holding Maximus against the wall," which the plot requires him not to recognize as Medusa's prehensile red hair. He does not recognize the very distinctive hair of his own queen? She is literally in the room with him when he has this vision.

When Gorgon says, "never approach downwind, dumbass," does he mean upwind?

I don't know yet how sincere Maximus is in his monologues about ending the caste system and building a more equitable society (I'm guessing not at all and the throne is his only goal), but everything he says is right on and the show is foolish to position him as the antagonist when he's speaking out against the right of people not to be forced to mine in the dark with bare hands merely because of their genetics. How in the world are we supposed to root for the Inhuman royal family to restore their leadership of such an atrocious society?

Behold… The Inhumans

Ok, here we go. I know nothing about this show. Even less than I knew about The Defenders. So I’m going into this with absolute naivety.

This is some of the most stilted dialogue I have ever witnessed. I thought I was watching a propaganda film that was going to suddenly shift into showing everyone just how dangerous Inhumans are, and why “everyone should be very afraid!”

But no. It was just really bad acting.

Wait. We’re on the moon?!

It would seem that on the moon, terrigenesis doesn’t require you to be encased in a cocoon. That’s a fun twist that doesn’t eat into the special effects budget.

I can’t help but wonder if the secret undercover mission to Earth would have been successful if they hadn’t sent the green dude? Maximus is right. Black Bold never should have sent Triton. He should have sent literally anyone else who actually looks human.

It was pretty shitty of Maximus to shave Medusa’s hair, but the dude has clearly had some training because she wound up with a nice even, styled buzz. I’m honestly impressed.

It may have been a rocky start, but that's something you can maybe expect from a series in which I would wager that most casual Marvel fans would have little to no knowledge of practically any of the characters. If I hadn't played Legendary with you, Scott, I don't think I would have recognized several of these. I had no idea that Lockjaw was a giant dog, though! That was a fun twist, and he is absolutely adorable.

Those Who Would Destroy Us

Holy shit Gorgon’s feet and the way he walks just flat out says, “we didn’t think this costume through well enough.”

Louise, our Intrepid NASA scientist who is definitely not doing some sketchy off-the-books work from an empty warehouse, has deduced that four "somethings" have left the moon and traveled to the Earth. Her boss is skeptical and doesn't believe that something so outrageous could have happened, as if he is not living in a world in which inhumans exist, in which an interdimensional portal opened up and attacked New York City, in which literally a god from Asgard named Thor, who is a mythical god from Earth's ancient lore, actually exists. I don't understand how this far into this Marvel universe we can still have characters who are skeptical that something like this could happen. This is quite literally one of the most plausible things that has happened in the MCU up to this point.

There is a lot going on with the lore of the Inhumans on the moon. Eldrac, for example. He’s… the building? And the “family” that Auran threatened to bring to him in bags was… other buildings? I’m so confused.

I’m curious exactly what these tunnels the humans on the moon are for. It just seems like they’re digging so they’ll have something to do while the Inhumans hang out on the surface. Where do they get food and water from? I don’t see any plants. How do they have oxygen?

Black Bolt reminds me of Prince Akeem in Coming to America. Absolutely oblivious to the way society outside of his kingdom actually operates. Considering how far he is from home, and how he’s actively being hunted by his brother, you’d think he’d be a little less smug.

Bad acting, yes, but bad writing too. I don't know what Laurence Olivier or Meryl Streep could have done with clunkers like these. I'll give the writers the benefit of the doubt that they probably tried their best on a very compressed schedule.

That screenshot will live on in my memories of this show. Thank you for that.