Current Goos
Can you solve the goos below? You'll improve your score if you do. Good luck! For more information, see How to Play.
This celebrity goo was created by Scott Hardie.
publication date: Thursday, July 9, 2026 - the answer will be revealed on Thursday, July 16
category: 
Government
clue: He wasn't a statesman from Massachusetts. He was possibly America's first gay vice president, definitely America's first vice president sworn in on foreign soil, and probably America's first vice president to have both a county in Washington that was named after him and a city in Alabama that he named become far more associated with a civil rights icon with his last name. Who's the king?
intended difficulty: easy
solved by: Russ Wilhelm, Richard Slominsky, and Erik Bates
You're Not My Real Founding Fathers!: America loves its Founding Fathers, and the nation's 250th anniversary makes for a fine opportunity to celebrate them. But wait—who are these imitators? These are actors, and musicians, and authors, and athletes! Their John Hancocks are very similar, but these aren't the real Founding Fathers! Starting apropos on Father's Day, here are a whopping fifty goos to challenge your knowledge of patriotic trivia. Can you identify these fifty fake signatories to a Declaration of Independence that never was? With luck, you\ll hold these goos to be self-evident.Know the answer? Please log in or register in order to guess.
This celebrity goo was created by Scott Hardie.
publication date: Wednesday, July 8, 2026 - the answer will be revealed on Wednesday, July 15
category: 
Military
clue: He wasn't a statesman from Virginia. He was an admiral who preferred the classroom to the war room, though I heard some submarine crews were not fond of him.
intended difficulty: hard
solved by: Russ Wilhelm
You're Not My Real Founding Fathers!: America loves its Founding Fathers, and the nation's 250th anniversary makes for a fine opportunity to celebrate them. But wait—who are these imitators? These are actors, and musicians, and authors, and athletes! Their John Hancocks are very similar, but these aren't the real Founding Fathers! Starting apropos on Father's Day, here are a whopping fifty goos to challenge your knowledge of patriotic trivia. Can you identify these fifty fake signatories to a Declaration of Independence that never was? With luck, you\ll hold these goos to be self-evident.Know the answer? Please log in or register in order to guess.
This celebrity goo was created by Scott Hardie.
publication date: Tuesday, July 7, 2026 - the answer will be revealed on Tuesday, July 14
category: 
Music
clue: He isn't a planter from South Carolina. He's a frequent reality TV cast member and the most famous hype man in hip hop, known for his tasty nickname and horological fashion sense, boyeee.
intended difficulty: very easy
solved by: Russ Wilhelm, Richard Slominsky, and Erik Bates
You're Not My Real Founding Fathers!: America loves its Founding Fathers, and the nation's 250th anniversary makes for a fine opportunity to celebrate them. But wait—who are these imitators? These are actors, and musicians, and authors, and athletes! Their John Hancocks are very similar, but these aren't the real Founding Fathers! Starting apropos on Father's Day, here are a whopping fifty goos to challenge your knowledge of patriotic trivia. Can you identify these fifty fake signatories to a Declaration of Independence that never was? With luck, you\ll hold these goos to be self-evident.Know the answer? Please log in or register in order to guess.
This celebrity goo was created by Scott Hardie.
publication date: Monday, July 6, 2026 - the answer will be revealed on Monday, July 13
category: 
Health
clue: He wasn't a builder from Virginia. He was a sanitarium director whose beliefs about racial superiority and holistic medicine put the flake in cornflakes.
intended difficulty: medium
solved by: Russ Wilhelm, Richard Slominsky, and Erik Bates
You're Not My Real Founding Fathers!: America loves its Founding Fathers, and the nation's 250th anniversary makes for a fine opportunity to celebrate them. But wait—who are these imitators? These are actors, and musicians, and authors, and athletes! Their John Hancocks are very similar, but these aren't the real Founding Fathers! Starting apropos on Father's Day, here are a whopping fifty goos to challenge your knowledge of patriotic trivia. Can you identify these fifty fake signatories to a Declaration of Independence that never was? With luck, you\ll hold these goos to be self-evident.Know the answer? Please log in or register in order to guess.
This celebrity goo was created by Scott Hardie.
publication date: Sunday, July 5, 2026 - the answer will be revealed on Sunday, July 12
category: 
Disasters
clue: He wasn't a lawyer from Delaware. He was a merchant whose journal after a famous shipwreck in Florida has been hailed as one of the great survival-in-captivity tales, but spoiler warning: He lived to become the mayor of Philadelphia.
intended difficulty: easy
solved by: Russ Wilhelm, Richard Slominsky, and Erik Bates
You're Not My Real Founding Fathers!: America loves its Founding Fathers, and the nation's 250th anniversary makes for a fine opportunity to celebrate them. But wait—who are these imitators? These are actors, and musicians, and authors, and athletes! Their John Hancocks are very similar, but these aren't the real Founding Fathers! Starting apropos on Father's Day, here are a whopping fifty goos to challenge your knowledge of patriotic trivia. Can you identify these fifty fake signatories to a Declaration of Independence that never was? With luck, you\ll hold these goos to be self-evident.Know the answer? Please log in or register in order to guess.
This celebrity goo was created by Scott Hardie.
publication date: Saturday, July 4, 2026 - the answer will be revealed on Saturday, July 11
category: 
Science
clue: He wasn't a military commander from Virginia. He was an agricultural scientist and inventor, the arc of whose life—being born into slavery, witnessing race crimes, overcoming educational discrimination, joining the faculty of an esteemed school, devoting his career to teaching poor Southerners who spurned him how they could grow new crops like peanuts in soil that was depleted by cotton, and surviving until the eve of the post-war boom—inspires hope that America will spend its second 250 years fully embodying the principles that it established in its first.
intended difficulty: very easy
solved by: Russ Wilhelm, Richard Slominsky, and Erik Bates
You're Not My Real Founding Fathers!: America loves its Founding Fathers, and the nation's 250th anniversary makes for a fine opportunity to celebrate them. But wait—who are these imitators? These are actors, and musicians, and authors, and athletes! Their John Hancocks are very similar, but these aren't the real Founding Fathers! Starting apropos on Father's Day, here are a whopping fifty goos to challenge your knowledge of patriotic trivia. Can you identify these fifty fake signatories to a Declaration of Independence that never was? With luck, you\ll hold these goos to be self-evident.Know the answer? Please log in or register in order to guess.
This celebrity goo was created by Scott Hardie.
publication date: Friday, July 3, 2026 - the answer will be revealed on Friday, July 10
category: 
Activism
clue: She wasn't a lawyer from Massachusetts. She was a universal suffragist and abolitionist who refused to sit on her fanny in the face of injustice, until an accident forced it.
intended difficulty: easy
solved by: Russ Wilhelm and Richard Slominsky
You're Not My Real Founding Fathers!: America loves its Founding Fathers, and the nation's 250th anniversary makes for a fine opportunity to celebrate them. But wait—who are these imitators? These are actors, and musicians, and authors, and athletes! Their John Hancocks are very similar, but these aren't the real Founding Fathers! Starting apropos on Father's Day, here are a whopping fifty goos to challenge your knowledge of patriotic trivia. Can you identify these fifty fake signatories to a Declaration of Independence that never was? With luck, you\ll hold these goos to be self-evident.Know the answer? Please log in or register in order to guess.
Recent Goos
These goos were played a week ago.
John Witherspoon
Witherspoon played supporting roles in Friday and its sequels, House Party, Hollywood Shuffle, Vampire in Brooklyn, and The Boondocks. Go »
June Blair
Blair was a TV actress who married David Nelson and joined the cast of The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet as his on-screen wife. Go »
Caroline Charles
Charles started her eponymous fashion house in 1963 at the age of 21. Her 2012 memoir was titled Caroline Charles: 50 Years in Fashion. Go »
Samuel Holden Parsons
Parsons was a colonial-era lawyer who advocated for independence from the British crown. When the Revolutionary War began, he spent his own fortune to form a brigade, and was eventually promoted to Major General. After the war, he moved to Pennsylvania, where he died canoeing in rapids. Go »
Benjamin Harrison
Harrison was the 23rd president of the United States. His single term came between the first presidency and second presidency of Grover Cleveland, who until Donald Trump was the only president to serve two non-consecutive terms. Go »
Tree Paine
Paine has gained attention as the exclusive publicist of Taylor Swift despite almost never making public comments or appearances herself. "Quickly" was a play on Swift's last name. Before launching her own firm in 2014, Paine worked for Interscope Records with Nine Inch Nails and other artists. The mention of "Head Like a Hole" is a reference to the ancient practice of trepanning, as a play on Paine's name. Go »
Sam Huntington
Huntington's roles include Being Human, Superman Returns, and Jungle 2 Jungle. Go »
