Scott Hardie | August 4, 2001
For the past three days, I've had the "Goodrich Quality Theaters" music in my head. You can hear it while you're waiting for the movie to start at the Willow Knolls theater in Peoria or the Randall 16 theater in Batavia.

All movie theaters have some kind of intro (AMC's is pleasantly brief), but Goodrich has one that is two minutes and fifty-three seconds long. These days, it's even longer, because they interrupt it halfway through to run an ad for Pepsi or Mountain Dew. If you go to as many movies as I do, you probably know most of it by heart. The camera rolls through a series of round doorways and pauses at each chamber for a new phrase to appear. The same fucking, fucking, fucking annoying music plays every goddamned time, with the epic-sounding six notes in a downward scale and the lame-ass bass and percussion underneath, and that weird futuristic beeping warble going on in the background.

My brain has finally snapped, and it will not play anything but that fucking music. It sometimes lets up long enough for me to have a conversation or watch another movie or whatever, but soon it goes right back into it. It sometimes gets to the end of the presentation, where the "Goodrich Quality Theaters" logo explodes in the twinkling white and pink starlights, but then it immediately starts back up again. Make it stop! I can't take it any more! If I never hear that fucking music again I'll be a happy man.


Want to participate? Please create an account a new account or log in.


Other Discussions Started by Scott Hardie

Long Live Rock and Roll

I'm thrilled to announce that Rock Block is coming back to Funeratic! The game will launch at 10am Eastern on September 6, next Saturday. There should be a lot of concert activity over the debut weekend. Go »

ICP is B-A-D

Not that Blender magazine is an authority on anything, but just for fun, I'd like to point out that they recently named Insane Clown Posse the worst rock band ever. Surely there's worse than that? Go »

The Moral Minority

So long, culture wars. Don't let the screen door hit you. Go »

Shooting Your Mouth Off

The Second Amendment gives you the right to have guns, but not the right to use them. Reading about the asshole who opened fire in Sa Go »

Photo Call

Three users already have new photographs of themselves submitted for the new site (November 1st). Who else wants to replace the photo they've been using for a long time? Go »

Psychopathy

Check out this list of reasons for admission to an insane asylum in the 1800s. I'm pretty sure that most people I know would have been locked up. How crazy Go »