Complacency

Scott Hardie | February 9, 2003
I just laid down for an hour's nap and woke up feeling like shit. It was because of a bad dream. It started out with me watching an episode of "The Simpsons" in which Lisa accidentally unleashes a jaguar in downtown, and it even mauls a homeless man (guest star Harry Anderson), but the town's okay with it, because it could have been a lot worse. Then I found out I was slowly dying because I had some heart disease, but I was okay with it, because I was still alive now and didn't have to worry about it till later. Then I was riding a bike and I crashed, and both my legs were broken, but I didn't mind, because I didn't particularly need to go anywhere. The last thing before I woke up was when I was in a neighbor's house and one of my cats was there; I had given him away. As I closed the door to leave he looked up at me and reached his paw out to me as if to beg please don't go, but I was okay with it. Then I woke up, and I really didn't like myself. My biggest problem right now, according to my subconscious, is complacency.