How Do You Know?

Scott Hardie | May 22, 2002
This is for anyone who is engaged, married, or close to being engaged. How do you know when you are ready to make that big step? How do you know when the person you are with is the one you want to be with forever? Its just something I have been thinking about for the past couple of days/weeks/months/years.....(on and off).

I mean, there is always that little voice in the back of your head that tells you that someone is not for you. But how do you know that someone is? When does it stop just being a fantasy and you can actually truly see yourself with one person forever? Advice needed.

Anna Gregoline | May 22, 2002
Hey Jackie - I've wondered this as well. I was with one person for a very long time and I thought he was, "The One." He wasn't, and now I see the error of my ways. I've found who I think to be the love of my life, and I'm sure of it after this trip. I think you have to ask yourself what's important to you, and one of the things that I think is VERY important for anyone is that they have things in common. My last long-term boyfriend and I were very different, and it was only after being without him did I realize that we couldn't really share many things. Of course, settling down with any one person is a frightening thing, and shouldn't be taken lightly, but I think with some time with each other and some careful discussion about issues and shared values/ideas of how you will live your life together, it's do-able.

I hope my two cents contributed!

Jackie Mason | May 23, 2002
[hidden by request]

Lori Lancaster | May 23, 2002
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Anna Gregoline | May 23, 2002
It's hard to know though - I mean, I thought my last boyfriend was my together-forever, and now I see how wrong I was. At the time, if asked, I would have said that "felt right" too, but now that I have my new relationship to compare to, it wasn't right in the least.

Scott Hardie | May 28, 2002
I don't know, I guess time settled it for me. After so many years with Kelly, our lives had become intertwined. I couldn't imagine being without her - or being happy without her, anyway. I don't believe that there's only one mate in the world for each of us (in other words, I could love someone else instead of Kelly), but I know when to hold on to happiness. This message probably wasn't helpful for you, Jackie, but it's all I have to say at the moment. :-\