Laziest Eye

Scott Hardie | September 15, 2003
I've always had lazy eye, but a new condition gives the term a different meaning. Over the past 2-3 months, my right eyebrow has been drooping. It feels like the muscles just relax more than they used to, but there may be more to it; I'm not sure. The result is that my right eye looks about 1/3 closed all the time, and it's drooping lower every week. I can hold it up if I concentrate, but that's not something I can keep doing indefinitely.

I'm never going to make it to the cover of GQ, but this is one element of my appearance that concerns me. I have known people with drooping eyebrows, including a recent boss, and I speak from experience when I say that it's hard to look them in the eye. Your line of vision gravitates towards that one eye, so you just tend to avoid eye contact with them. I don't want to be "that guy with the weird eye." I guess I'll just have to live with it until I can afford some plastic surgery to fix it. It's got me kind of depressed.

Jackie Mason | September 15, 2003
[hidden by request]

Scott Hardie | September 15, 2003
Ouch. Thanks for the warning! I'll get checked this week.

Scott Hardie | September 16, 2003
All right, the thought that I could have finally developed diabetes gave me a strong case of the chills. But now I'm feeling it a second time: I went digging through old photographs of myself. In May 2003, you can see the drooping eye clearly, so I figured it's been going on longer than I thought. Then I found another from April 2002, again showing the eye problem. Has it been going on that long? I was calm until I found it yet again from August 1996! Fucking a!! How long have I had a facial disfigurement and not been aware of it?! Granted, it's absent from most photos, and no one has ever mentioned it to me before, and I've never noticed it until recently, but here's photographic proof that it has been present at various times in my past. I feel so messed up right now.

Anna Gregoline | September 16, 2003
Maybe your eye was always a little bit like that? I know that most people's faces are a little off-balanced. Mine certainly is. I seem to have one eye half closed in a lot of pictures, but I think it's because of my dimple on one side of my face - it makes a cheerful lopsidedness. Maybe it's just "worse" now cause you're noticing it?

Scott Hardie | September 16, 2003
That's the best theory I have, that it's been visible from time to time and it's no big deal, and it only seems so strange because I'm just now noticing it. I consulted my mom, who says she has no idea whether my eye droops or not. If any of you who have seen me can confirm you've seen it on my face, please speak up. (That's the kind of thing you don't normally mention to someone; you figure they know already. Well, I didn't know.) This tiny problem has been brewing in my mind for two months, but between diabetes and the photos, I'm scared and freaked out right now.

Anna Gregoline | September 16, 2003
It doesn't hurt to get checked out anyway. It will help put your fears to rest, or if not, at least you're being proactive. Doing something always helps when I have anxiety. I, however, have not noticed your eye, but it's also been 2 years since I've seen you.

Anna Gregoline | September 16, 2003
Let us know what's going on, Scott! I worry. =)

Scott Hardie | September 16, 2003
I will. And thank you for the support. :-)

Jackie Mason | September 16, 2003
[hidden by request]

Jackie Mason | September 16, 2003
[hidden by request]