The Revenge of Edward Norton

Scott Hardie | March 15, 2003
For two nights in a row, I've had dreams about Edward Norton. Well, they're not really about him, but he's prominent in both. I don't remember the first one too well, but it involved me being invited to a party, some cookout around a swimming pool. He was the host and he kept threatening to kick me out. Second dream, Matt and I discovered some underground cult-style organization (think of the Stonecutters from "The Simpsons") that was based on all these alchemical potions. So we somehow talked our way in, and we got basic-level membership, which came with boxes full of all these potions in different colors that would grant different super-powers when consumed. Then we discovered that Edward Norton was the shadowy leader of this group, and he challenged me to a race, and I drank the "super-speed" potion and beat him, and he started ranting at me in a high voice. I don't know what the fuck brought this dream on.

Jackie Mason | March 17, 2003
[hidden by request]

Scott Hardie | March 18, 2003
Nope. But I just had a dream that I was hanging out with the teenagers from "That 70s Show," and I woke up feeling shrill and moronic and like there was a studio audience guffawing at every horseshit-stupid thing I said.