Bond... Jimmy Bond

Scott Hardie | May 15, 2005
This Newsweek article (link) about the new series of young-adult novels about a 13-year-old James Bond just makes me want to cry. It's not out of love for the whole Bond franchise, which is generally agreed to have gotten worse the further it got from Ian Fleming, but out of frustration that yet another form of adult entertainment has been pimped out to the teenage market. Does Hollywood really wonder why teenagers are such profitable consumers, seeing as how Hollywood makes approximately two movies per year for grown-ups? (I know it's a book, but the film adaptation is inevitable.) I still remember my heart sinking when I first read of plans for a "Starfleet Academy" series that would have seen Trek through the eyes of seventeen-year-olds, as though the WB mentality is really what television sci-fi needs right now. I'm sure we'll somehow see a teenaged "CSI" sooner or later.

Kris Weberg | May 15, 2005
Well, they already did the "James Bond, Jr." cartoon, books, and video game in the late 80s....

Jackie Mason | May 16, 2005
[hidden by request]

Scott Hardie | May 16, 2005
Jesus, you're right, Kris; I forgot all about those. My god. Today's kids aren't just getting derivative crap, they're getting derivative crap that failed to catch on with the previous generation.

I will forever regret the changes made to "The Mask" to make it appeal to kids. The comic was violent and gory and way over the top, like the grand guignol moments in "Sin City," but the film version was cleaned up and passed off as family-friendly. I'm trying to pretend that the cartoon show and contemporary film sequel don't even exist. (Same story for those Ninja Turtles, of course.)

Kris Weberg | May 16, 2005
I think everyone's trying to pretend Son of the Mask doesn't exist, especially Jamie Kennedy.