Complaints Dept.

Scott Hardie | November 28, 2017
Do you complain too much? Have you tried to complain less?

Chris Lemler | November 28, 2017
Scott I tried to complain at a certain place and no wants to listen to me.

Erik Bates | November 29, 2017
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Scott Hardie | December 1, 2017
Chris, I'm sorry to hear it. I had an unhealthy workplace years ago where I kept making suggestions for how to improve things, and the manager told me to stop making suggestions because it was getting annoying, and I later resigned in part because of this asking me not to speak my mind, and on my last day he asked me sincerely whether I had any ideas for improving the company. Gah!

Erik, good attitude. When I catch myself complaining, I just try to stop cold (at the end of a sentence at least). But it's hard to notice when your emotions are high and your mind is focused!

Complaining is a social lubricant and bonding exercise, as I read about recently, but it's not healthy to do too much of it. Kelly asked me a while ago why I liked certain friends and not others, and it dawned on me that I was attracted to the friends who didn't complain. I want to surround myself with positive people, who experience irritation like anyone but don't dwell on it, and who talk about dreams and ideas and plans rather than wasting their energy on negativity. One guy in particular is an inspiration: Multiple car accidents and lost jobs, spent months in jail for something he didn't do, lost a leg to infection, tons of hardship in his life, and yet when you talk to him he's full of positivity and excitement to accomplish big things. I feel like if he can have that kind of attitude, then my much tinier problems should be no cause for me to complain at all; I want to be upbeat like him.

Maybe the best way to deal with the human need to criticize is to focus on what can be achieved from it, like making it constructive. Is it better to do that, or to try to avoid negativity at all?

Samir Mehta | December 2, 2017
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Denise Sawicki | December 3, 2017
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Scott Hardie | December 3, 2017
Yes! Actively working towards a solution, or at least finding a healthier coping mechanism, is much better than complaining.

Denise, you have plenty that you could choose to complain about, so I applaud your restraint. :-)